Archives for 2003 Q4

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December 14, 2003

Saddam Hussein Captured.

Saddam Hussein, you've been punk'd.

President Bush surprises America with an early Christmas present.

I'm glad we took him alive, in spite of world opinion that I'm a bloodthirsty cowboy.  Alive we have all kinds of opportunities to get intelligence from him, as well as many, many photo ops to shrink the man in the eyes of his followers.  My initial feeling is that I'd like to see him turned over to the world court for trial, ala Nuremburg.  Put it on television, let the world think they had a part in his capture, everyone is happy (except those in America who hate Bush at all costs) and Saddam wilts in a jail cell for the rest of his life.

What's going to happen next?  The first sidebars I looked for concerned world opinion.  I was happy to see global leaders who once supported Saddam now applauded his capture.  They'll be feeding us shit sandwiches again tomorrow, but today they're celebrating for the cameras.  

There are celebrations all over Iraq.  Apparently he wasn't as beloved as some have said.  There will be some "retribution" by those holdouts of his regime, as well as the Jihadarinos who oppose America on principle, but there's no way they aren't feeling a loss, today.

Yesterday the news was all about Howard Dean, Al Gore, and Joe Leiberman.  Today they are all rewriting their campaign speeches about how Bush is personally putting people out of work and is so incompetent that he's 0 for 2 on his personal, irresponsible vendettas against peaceful world leaders who have the perfect right to kill anyone they want because HELP HELP, THEY'RE BEING OPPRESSED.

The conspiracy wackos are going to come out and say we've had Saddam in Gitmo for months, and have staged this "capture" when it was politically opportune.

But whatever.  Thousand of unidentified corpses in scores of mass graves are resting a little easier today.

Sic semper tyrannus.

(FYI - Feedback server is a tad flaky at the moment.)

GORDON  |  12:38 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 27, 2003

President Ass Kicker does it again.

My President again made a decision to be a leader and went to Baghdad for some Thanksgiving dinner with some army guys.

In about ten minutes there are going to be reports on the news about Democrats giving the price tag for the trip in the middle of "Bush's horrible economy," but damn, the man can be inspiring.  Bush is almost an anti-politician; while some elected officials spend all of their time saying he lied for his oil war (The war almost unanimously ratified by the people now smearing him), Bush is landing on aircraft carriers and standing in a vanquished enemy's capital city in the middle of fucking America-hating Mesopotamia.

I'd let Bush fight from my foxhole anytime.

GORDON  |  3:15 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


Happy Day of Turkey Death.

Happy Thanksgiving for you straights.

I'm not a huge fan of ham... it's ok, but I've never just been sitting there and thought, "You know, I could fuck me up some ham right now."  So when I cook for major holidays, if I have my way it's always about the turkey.

Last year was a plain ol' Butterball turkey, and it came out excellently, but this year I decided to try something a little different, and got a Honeysuckle smoked turkey instead.

It was slightly under five pounds, and the instructions said cook it for an hour... which was a lie, because an hour and fifteen later, it still wasn't up to temperature in the middle.  Additionally, I screwed up the dressing by forgetting to buy chicken broth, and attempted to use a can of turkey gravy instead.  Mistake.

Anyway... took the turkey out of the oven and put the biscuits back in to warm up.  Carved the turkey, built a plate, sat down, digged in.

Honeysuckle smoked turkey tastes just like ham.

Oh well.


Let's take a moment and remember our vegan brothers and sisters who abhor the killing of animals for food, on this, their day of woe.

My mashed potatoes were wonderful, though.  I can fuck me up some mashed potatoes.

GORDON  |  3:15 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 25, 2003

Used to be the holiday season didn't start until after Thanksgiving.

But now it starts after Halloween.  Those who live in urban areas, even the smaller one-mall-towns, know what that means... people crushing into streets and stores.  I couldn't avoid a trip to a store today (emergency light bulb run), and I had lots of chance to observe people at their most annoying... "annoying" meaning in close proximity to me.


2.  What is it with men wearing jewelry and having piercing?  Are they trying to look pretty?  The only type of man I will accept in jewelry as not having homosexual tendencies are pirates.  I've yet to see anyone dressed like Johnny Depp.  If it helps you get laid, fine.  Keep in mind the women you're getting are the ones who give it up for any man with an earring.  Good luck with the herpes, fag.

3.  I'm about to turn the fashion industry on its ear with the following statement:  NO WOMAN LOOKS GOOD IN HIP-HUGGER JEANS.  Since the only purpose of wearing them is to draw attention to your body, I can make the following observations about physical attractiveness without being shallow:  If you are overweight in the slightest, the jeans highlight a lovely roll of fat.  If you don't have enough body mass to have the roll of fat, then the fact you lack an ass is highlighted.  I've seen many, many women in hip hugger jeans, and I've never seen a woman that made them look good.  Please broaden my horizons with pictures of hot chicks in hip huggers that look good (no fat rolls and an ass) from any angle.

GORDON  |  4:56 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 18, 2003

And the second seal was broken...

If I go missing for a couple days, you know why.


GORDON  |  4:02 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 17, 2003

And while I'm in this deliciously unapologetic mood...

People using the fact that President Bush declared the end of MAJOR COMBAT OPERATIONS, then using the U.S. deaths from guerilla attacks since as a way to "prove" the only President who is a Master of Business Administration is somehow stupid, are showing an ignorant streak a mile wide.

If you've ever been involved in a major combat operation, you'll know what he said is true.  These onsey-twosey carbombs and RPG strikes are chickenshit, in the big picture.  Not even the current clampdown on insurgents is big enough to be considered a "major combat operation."

If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the fuck up.  You're getting on the nerves of the smart people.

When we start moving scores of thousands of men and hundreds of thousands of tons of armor again in order to hold Iraq, I'll eat my words.

One more thing.  For those of you who think the United States should pull out of Iraqi "quagmire" because it is too dangerous, keep in mind that on average more Americans are killed in Washington DC every day than in Iraq.  Refer to the previous suggestion to the ignorant.

GORDON  |  1:59 am EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


Anti-gun hysteria.

Recently I was exposed to another anti-gun type, who blithely made the following comment in the typical superior, "I am on a higher plane than you" tone:

You know, like gun activists who maintain that we should be allowed to own Kalishnikov (sic) assault rifles.

You know.

For self-defense.

From tyrannosauruses, or something.

It got me to wondering... what can put the fear of automatic weapons into the hearts of so many people?  Has half the country actually been at the receiving end of a gun-related crime?

Then I realized, no.  And I am going to be so bold as to submit that not a single person reading these words has had an automatic weapon pointed at them during the commission of a crime.  Why do I feel confident enough to make this statement?  Because it is my educated guess that automatic weapons are used illegally 99.9% of the time in the following circumstances:

  • Inner city gang wars.
  • Hollywood-style Drug Deals Gone Bad.
  • Coups.

Nobody reading this has been in the first two situations, and nobody in America has been in the latter, unless they've recently immigrated.  And I could be wrong, but I would think most immigrants kind of dig on the newly acquired personal freedom they have in America, and would reject on principle any law that would curtail that freedom.

So where does the visceral fear of firearms come from?   It has to be fed to them from somewhere.  I know the lefties push this issue pretty hard... but who would profit from the English-style banning of weapons, besides criminals who would use them whether legal or illegal?  How has the banning of firearms gotten as far as it has?

I'm guessing "Mothers" are involved, somewhere.

GORDON  |  1:39 am EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


Whittling away personal freedom.

Bit by bit, a sliver at a time, you're losing your rights.

Turns out a bunch of people were snatched out of a bar recently, and arrested for drinking in public.

"Wow,” you’re probably thinking. “Good thing we live in America. Where’d that happen anyway? Iraq? China? Fucking Nazi Germany? Or is that nasty little episode from one of George Orwell’s anti-Utopian yarns?”

I got news for you, pal. That ugly scenario didn’t take place in some foreign tyranny, and it wasn’t dreamt up by some manic-depressive science-fiction novelist. It happened right here. Right now. In America.

In Fairfax, VA to be precise. The police there have decided that getting drunk in a bar is an arrestable offense worth enforcing.
Modern Drunkard

Now, the source material isn't exactly Routers, but a lot of information is given in the article.  Enough to be verifiable, anyway.  Which I would do if I weren't so lazy.

Just wait until they decide being drunk in your own home constitutes a possible public menace.  We're well on our way.

GORDON  |  1:05 am EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 11, 2003

Happy Veteran's Day.

Happy Veteran's Day to those of you who had the intestinal fortitude to step up and sign your name on the dotted line, and take the oath.


I actually have a VD story.  No, not that vd...

Last year Veteran's Day I was an employee of Cabela's, in Nebraska.  I was pleasantly surprised when HR left a card and gift basket on my desk.  The card thanked me for service to my country... text printed over a somber picture of an American flag at sunset flying half mast.

I emailed my HR rep thanking her for the card, but mentioned that I'm not dead yet and we didn't need to lower the colors in mourning for a few more years.

I didn't get a response.

GORDON  |  2:23 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 9, 2003

Goose, meet gander.

Shortly after the World Trade Center was attacked, rumors on the so-called Arab-Street said that the United States conducted the attacks on itself, probably with the CIA (with full Zionist knowledge, approval, and support, of course), in order to whip up public frenzy, and give the U.S. government free reign to do whatever it wanted to the peace-loving Muslims of the world.  It was perfectly reasonable in many of their minds that we could sacrifice thousands of our own citizens just to sway public opinion.

Car bomb explodes in Saudi capital

GORDON  |  4:03 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


November 1, 2003

Happy candy day.

There's an excellent montage of photos over at called "America 24/7."

During the week of May 12-18, 2003, America 24/7 invited everyone in America with a digital camera to submit photographs that depict their lives, families and communities — and what it means to be American. Pulitzer Prize-winning professionals, students and amateur photographers across the nation shot more than 1 million pictures. This collaboration produced a visual time capsule by citizens from every walk of life.


 A HUNDRED YEARS from now, historians may pose questions like these: What was America like at the beginning of the third millennium? How did life change after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks and the ensuing war on terrorism? How was America affected by its corporate accounting scandals and the high-tech boom and bust? Was it still the land of opportunity? Could Americans still express themselves freely?

It's a touching look at the beauty of the every-day.  Go through the slide shows, and turn on the sound if you have it.

GORDON  |  2:43 pm EST  |  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 28, 2003


Finally, a new forum.  The link is near the top in the right column.

No, your other right.

The old forum, which will remain linkable for a little while, lasted from sometime in the year 2000.  It's been breaking down steadily for awhile... the calendar being the biggest problem.  But the new forum is all shiny and new, and hopefully is an improvement over the old.

You'll have to re-register, if you ever were.

I've also left the forums open for the un-registered to reply to comments... so if you want to stay semi-anonymous, don't care about post counts, or are just lazy, you don't necessarily need to register to post.


GORDON  |  1:29 pm EDT  |  Permalink


October 23, 2003


In the 20th century, Germany shook the world twice with her might.  In the 1400's and 1700's, French leaders did the Minuette over most of Europe and parts of Asia.

In 2003, both nations were punked by a war blasted 2.5th world, occupied country in the desert.

Iraqi official says limited German, French help won't be forgotten.

MADRID, Spain (CNN) -- A top Iraqi official attending an international conference on raising funds to rebuild Iraq warned Thursday that France and Germany's limited donations would not be forgotten.


"As far as Germany and France are concerned, really, this was a regrettable position they had," Allawi said. "I don't think the Iraqis are going to forget easily that in the hour of need, those countries wanted to neglect Iraq."


GORDON  |  11:01 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 13, 2003

Yes Virginia, the French still suck.

Was watching the Discovery-Wings Channel a couple nights ago, and there was an old man speaking in French.  A translator was translating in English over what the old man was saying.  The old man said, "Everyone knows that the pioneers of aviation are Ferdinand Ferber of France and the Wright brothers from America..." and went on to make some point.  But I was still trying to understand what I'd heard.

I've argued in the past that a lot of middle eastern nations needed an attitude adjustment, in part because the information they have about the world is skewed and slanted by those who control the information.  If France had a few hidden mass graves, I'd say invade them.  They delude themselves with this crap they make up to keep themselves from having to face the reality that they haven't been relevant to the world since the early 1800's, not counting their colossal colonization disasters in Africa in the 20th century.

In 50 years, French history books will be taught in French grade schools saying that mighty France kicked the Nazis out of America in World War II.

GORDON  |  9:19 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 8, 2003

True Lies 2 delayed.

Both and are projecting through exit polls that Arnold Schwarzenneger is the new governor of Caleefornia.

Now begins the counts and recounts and lawsuits and court challenges.

I'm logging off now to go watch Predator.

GORDON  |  12:20 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 5, 2003


Right this second on the front page of, there's a story about how Mr. and Mrs. Bill Gates have given a lot of money for "health."


Yet right now on,, and, I see no reference to this story.

Additionally, I see nowhere in the article a disclaimer that is owned in part by Microsoft, which is in turn owned by Bill Gates.  But, then, I skimmed.  Must have missed it.

GORDON  |  2:13 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 3, 2003


All day Lord of the Rings marathon with all three movies.  Fellowship and Towers extended versions.

That's where I'll be December 16th.  I'll be in Memphis.

Which also happens to be the bbq capitol of he universe.  Rings marathon, and Memphis bbq.  Merry Christmas to me.

GORDON  |  2:01 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 2, 2003

Can't think of a thing to write about.

So what's your favorite flavor pie?

GORDON  |  1:36 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


October 1, 2003

"I got your ring right here, jive turkey!"

I was just watching the newly released Return of the King trailer again, and a funny thought occurred to me.

 Recently I was chilling with Leisher, and we were watching Dawn of the Dead.  That's the "one of those new indoor malls!" one.  (Being remade in 2004.)

It's the 70's, it's low budget, and there's an ass-kicking black dude.  He has all the 70's slang (and his character can do everything from drive a big rig, use any weapon known to man... and perform an abortion!).  There's one part where they're moving around, and they fool the zombies into going right, when our heroes are going left.  The black guy says, "We gave 'em the ol' okie-doke!"  "The ol' okie-doke" has been in my vocabulary ever since...

Anyway, in addition to being super fly, I'm also a dork, and tonight while jonesing for RotK I had a dork-moment....

Aragorn and Gandalf are fighting the hopeless, unwinable war against Sauron mostly to keep Sauron's attention off of Frodo, who is going into Mordor to destroy the Ring of Power...

They're giving Sauron the ol' okie-doke.

I'm sorry.

GORDON  |  12:48 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


 Yet more archives!!!!!!!!!!