Archives for 2003 Q3

DTM Home
September 30, 2003

Linklist maintenance.

Performed some long overdue maintenance of the left column.  Created a new category called "Formerly Front Line," and moved the appropriate peeps there from the "From the Front" category.  As time goes on and the war becomes less present in everyday consciousness, they'll be moved from that new category into humor, opinion, or whatever.

Removed a few links I just lost interest in.  Ordinarily I won't name names, but one I got really sick of was they guy who wrote "turning tables."  He was an army comm guy posted in one of Saddam's palaces in Baghdad.  All he ever did was piss and moan and complain about how bad America was treating Iraq, but more importantly, his own personal misery.  Hey, every serviceman bellyaches at some time or another.  TO EACH OTHER.  To fish for pity over the internet...  I am supposed to feel bad that this pissant volunteered for the military and had to... *gasp*... do what the military does?  I'm supposed to think he didn't get exactly what he wanted?  And don't give me that, "Well, most people just join so they can go to college" bullshit.  That changes nothing, and makes you look stupid.  In the Marines we had a saying, "Nobody promised you a rose garden."  And by Jove, I just looked at my contract, and I was not, in fact, promised a rose garden.  I think I'll cry about it to global media (*cough* 4th Infantry Division *cough*) and the internet.

He used to have comment system on his page.  I'd read comments from his readers after each article, and see all kinds of idiots stroking his sore pussy for him.  One day I'd had enough of it, and mentioned that nobody wants to have pity parties for volunteers, and he should just suck it up and work on improving his attitude.  I noticed a few people posting after me shared my thoughts on the matter.  Two days later I went back... poor baby had to disable his comment system, because all of a sudden people got tired of listening to his shit.  Gordo shut down his comment system.

That's enough about him.


Acidman at Gut Rumbles was kind enough to offer me a couch if I wanted to catch the "Blog Meet" down in his neck of the woods, northern Georgia, on November 1st.  I like reading his page... he's an ornery old cuss, country boy, and talks about his "medical issues" in a way I never could.  His "bionic dick" is damned-near a contributor on his page.

But November 1st... in October I'm road tripping to Raleigh to catch the next Matrix Movie with some forum peeps, and in December I'm spending a week in Memphis to catch some bbq, Return of the King, and bbq.  Don't EVEN ask, "Bbq'd what?"  Yankee.  My trip planner is pretty busy between now and the end of the year.  But I'll try to fit Georgia in.


Holy crap, I just opened email.  Downloaded my spamemail, and my antivirus popped up saying one of them contained the Klez virus.  I took a closer look to see who sent it to me... I didn't recognize the email addy.  But here's the contents of the email:

From: derekwil []

Klez.E is the most common world-wide spreading worm.It's very dangerous by corrupting your files.
Because of its very smart stealth and anti-anti-virus technic,most common AV software can't detect or clean it.
We developed this free immunity tool to defeat the malicious virus.
You only need to run this tool once,and then Klez will never come into your PC.
NOTE: Because this tool acts as a fake Klez to fool the real worm,some AV monitor maybe cry when you run it.
If so,Ignore the warning,and select 'continue'.
If you have any question,please mail to me.

The dick sent me a "fake" virus to get my attention for his "immunity tool."  He angers me.  I wonder if it's really fake.


And hey, how bout that Do-Not-Call list.  Back and forth, back and forth.  What really sucks is the list is, obviously, completely available to telemarketers.  The figure being bandied about is 50MM phone numbers have been submitted to it... phone numbers, cell phone numbers, unlisted phone numbers, etc.  If the list never goes into effect, the government has just let telemarketers know everyone cell phone and unlisted landline numbers.  

GORDON  |  12:23 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


September 24, 2003

Smoking bans, and personal freedom.

When I was in Toledo, Ohio a few weeks ago, I was privileged to witness the first day of a public city-wide smoking ban.  Passed by the mayor and city council, it prohibited smoking in all public buildings, including bars and restaurants.  As I understand it, not even "smoking bars" were allowed... the only way for a business to legally allow people to smoke in their establishments was to literally build a hyperbaric chamber for them.  And they were starting the construction of one in a TGI Fridays in which I had lunch, one day.

The issue was all over the local news.  One business owner said, on camera, "I have a sign up claiming I have the right to refuse service to anyone.  As of now, neither the mayor nor any member of city council are welcome in my establishment."  I was even surprised to catch former mayor Carty Finkbeiner in the middle of an editorial, one day... to my surprise he was speaking out against the smoking ban.  It was the first time I'd ever heard him say anything that wasn't stupid... but then he continued, and his position was that the smoking ban should be extended county-wide to keep smokers from hitting the suburbs to eat, drink, and smoke.  Yep, Carty's still a dick.

The other day I was IM'ing with a television media employee, and this subject came up.  He said, "Some big stuff going on around the country about smoking bans. It turns out that businesses in areas outside of Cali are hurting and not seeing an increase in business like they were told they would.

This is a big deal in NY right now where businesses are claiming to be down 30-40%. Toledo city council had a meeting tonight and several members are now backing down from their vote for the smoking ban. Turns out all the suburbs are mocking them because they're stealing all the business now.

Plus, tons of business owners were at the meeting and PISSED. Bowling leagues alone have already lost tens of thousands of dollars. In NY, most are complaining that those against smoking in public are people who don't want to go out. In Cali, people are trapped and have to obey the law, where else can they go?

On top of that, now people are paying "smoking fines" at bars. You walk in and stuff money into a jar. Then everyone smokes and if the place is caught, the money in the jar pays the fine."

I found that funny.

That got me thinking somewhat tangentially.  People in New York City and Los Angeles consider themselves pretty cool, and rarely hesitate to make fun of states like Michigan and Idaho that have high "militia" populations.  Places like Idaho and any state south of Cincinnati is regularly lampooned in popular culture, which usually originates in one of the two aforementioned cities.  But the truth is, while I think the typical armed militia-type is overly paranoid, the truth is that these people are big on personal freedoms, unlike NY and LA.  So consider that next time you think the sun rises and sets on the east and west coasts.

No, wait....

GORDON  |  9:00 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


September 22, 2003


Survived the bitch Isabel, thanks for asking.  Yard is trashed with the neighbors' pine tree boughs, and DTManor lost a few shingles, but all in all it's all good (Most 'alls' in a sentence, evar).  All the pine tree detritus is nothing the 6 horsepower mulching lawn mover can't handle.

What's extra funny is that I live where she made land fall, and yet I didn't lose power.  Clock radio wasn't flashing.  People hundreds of miles away lost power for hours and days.  Owned.  Props to Jones-Onslow Electricity Cooperative; I saw them staging work crews all over town six hours before the wind started blowing.  *cabbage patching*

And, the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers said, "pshaw" to the order that they could abandon their post and take shelter from the hurricane.  They said, "Damn that."  Good stuff.

I can hear the idiots now..."They're stupid.  It's not like the tomb or corpses are going to go anywhere... live people were at risk from the storm."  These are the people who have no concept of duty, honor, or sacrifice.  I could begin to explain my reasoning, but the people who don't get it will continue not getting it, and the people who do don't need it explained.

GORDON  |  6:02 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


September 17, 2003

Hurricane Warning 2003-1.

Evacuation order in effect.

100+ mph winds expected.

Neighbors have lots of big pine trees that will hit my house if the fall in the right direction.

I'll be back online Friday, assuming DTMan HQ weathers the storm.

Funniest sign on a boarded up window evar: on a furniture store window, in big letters on the plywood it said, "Fizzle Izzle!"   

GORDON  |  1:29 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


September 13, 2003

Hurricane Watch 2003-1.

Oh, joy.

GORDON  |  10:33 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


High Net Marauders.

By now most everyone has heard of the 12 year old girl sued by the RIAA, so I wont get into that.

She was "caught" because she was using Kazaa, and her computer was set to share her music folder with other Kazaa users.  The RIAA monitors Kazaa, and has the ability to glean the user's computer's internet address.  At that point they subpoena the user's internet service provider, and if they cave, which they usually do, the computer user's name and home address is given to the RIAA for a lawsuit.  To date, over 1500 Kazaa users have been targeted by the RIAA.

To date, since Napster has ceased to exist, only Kazaa users who share their music (and then only those who shared 1000+ tunes) have been targeted.  The RIAA is not able to target the following file sharing networks, as they make privacy a higher priority:

BLOCKS - "Blocks is an anonymous distributed file transfer system designed for people with permanent 'always on' Internet connections like DSL lines or cable modems. It allows you to anonymously upload files from, and download files to the Blocks server 'network'. Blocks is cross-platform, open-source and free."

WASTE - "WASTE is a software product and protocol that enables secure distributed communication for small (on the order of 10-50 nodes) trusted groups of users."

And of course, the designed purpose of this application is "designed to enable small companies and small teams within larger companies to easily communicate and collaborate in a secure and efficient fashion, independent of physical network topology."


ELF - "ELF is a software program that can be used to share and receive files across a network anonymously in order to allow the storage and sharing of information without fear of reprisal.  For those with a little more technical knowledge, ELF largely functions as a series of peer-hosted proxy servers that route data through an encrypted network."

Freenet - "Freenet is free software which lets you publish and obtain information on the Internet without fear of censorship. To achieve this freedom, the network is entirely decentralized and publishers and consumers of information are anonymous. Without anonymity there can never be true freedom of speech, and without decentralization the network will be vulnerable to attack."

Those programs make it harder for the RIAA to  snoop your files and internet traffic, so make sure you or your child aren't using them.

Another app out there you don't want to use is PeerGuardian.  Each time you launch PeerGuardian, it downloads the latest list of known RIAA informants and blocks them from connecting to your computer. The list contains hundreds of known IP-address ranges the RIAA has used to catch file swappers.  You can still be caught if a new spy looks at you, but it's better than nothing.

So, you shouldn't use any of the above programs.  If you aren't doing anything wrong then you have nothing to hide, and shouldn't mind being snooped.  If you are downloading music, you belong in Federal Pound-Me-in-the-Ass prison.

GORDON  |  7:33 pm EDT  Feedback Permalink


September 9, 2003

You can never go home again.

But you can still visit.

Just spent a couple weeks in the Great White North visiting the fam and friends.

Leisher was going to pick up the slack here while I was gone, but it turns out he already had scheduled a retreat for pre-op transsexuals.  Everyone wish Leisher luck with his upcoming operation.

But yes, I visited the family, new additions and all (a new niece, and a new nephew).  God knows I love them all...which is why I live a 12-hour drive away... but it sure is nice to be home.  It's getting cold up there... one night it got down to 59 degrees... and it's only September!  Screw that.  I hereby renounce all of my northern heritage.  Time to get the Confederate Battle Flag painted onto my car hood.  Yee ha.

I've done relatively zero web surfing while away, and just as much following of news.  What's going on in the world?

GORDON  |  9:12 pm EDT  Feedback Permalink


August 15, 2003

The Great Blackout of '03.

Yeah, everybody knows a lot of the Northeast and Midwest is dark. is down, as is the listing page for my local chain movie theatre., however, is up.  In reading their "Developing Story" link, I saw this bit:

It was unclear what caused the outage, although state and federal officials agreed that it was not terrorism.

One possibility was a lightning strike in the Niagara region on the U.S. side of the border, according to the Canadian Department of National Defense. A spokeswoman for the Niagara-Mohawk power grid said the cause was still unknown, but that it was not a lightning strike.

Now, either they know what caused it, or they don't.  And if they don't, how can they say that without question, it isn't some terrorist asshole that did it?

It seems like nobody knows.

Hell, it could even have been a hacker.  Maybe this was the Blaster Worm's real payload...

GORDON  |  12:11 am EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


August 9, 2003

Dirty dirty whore.

Meandering through the Super Wal-Mart today.... before you ask, I was tricked into going.

The wife wanted to buy a frame for the new picture of the new nephew.

Woman:  I can't believe what a limited selection of frames they have.  I mean, the picture is standard 5x7, and I can't believe they only have one 5x7 frame here to choose from.  This is a common picture size, I can't believe they don't think they need more.  I guess Wal-Mart is just going to lose the money I would have paid for a frame.  I guess Target will get my money today.  What do you think?

Me:  I think that in some alternate universe, this is interesting.

GORDON  |  5:54 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


August 6, 2003


When I first moved back here to coastal North Carolina, I told someone that my goal was to somehow, some way get access to the near by base.

Follow your dreams.


GORDON  |  6:37 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


August 4, 2003

Now that's some tasty spin.

I've not a lot of opinion over Davis being recalled out in California, because it isn't my home state.  I do like, however, the idea that if you are a screw-up as gov'nuh, there are consequences. 

It appears that in spite of the pro-recall folks getting the required petition signatures, Mr. Davis is trying to lawyer his way out of it, as evidenced by these two identical stories, with two different headlines:

Davis asks court to delay recall


Davis sues in bid to delay recall vote

At the least (I didn't finish either article), the first few paragraphs of the stories are the same.  I was just amused at the bias of the different sounds so shitty, and the other sounds so friendly.

GORDON  |  4:22 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


August 1, 2003

"Defeat the Right in Three Minutes."

Found an article this morning and bookmarked it, and now that I'm posting about it, I can't remember where I found it.  Props to whomever.

Unlike your typical "leftie" oriented page, this page seems somewhat organized, and unfortunately it looks like some thought went into it.  I say "unfortunately" because, as usual, all the arguments are based on emotion rather than logic, studies, or evidence.

In a very clear, organized fashion this article explains how so-called "conservatives" are actually "cheap-labor conservatives," who want nothing more than to keep the working poor broken and under their heel, so they are forced to work for cheaper wages.  Ignoring the fact that if they keep everyone broke, nobody can buy their product or service...but that point is never addressed.  Several points are made and presented as "proof," but it all comes down to "Republicans are The Man and keep you down."

Here's a couple snippets, in no particular order:

  • Cheap-labor conservatives don't like social spending or our "safety net". Why. Because when you're unemployed and desperate, corporations can pay you whatever they feel like – which is inevitably next to nothing. You see, they want you "over a barrel" and in a position to "work cheap or starve".
  • Cheap-labor conservatives don't like the minimum wage, or other improvements in wages and working conditions. Why. These reforms undo all of their efforts to keep you "over a barrel".
  • Cheap-labor conservatives like "free trade", NAFTA, GATT, etc. Why. Because there is a huge supply of desperately poor people in the third world, who are "over a barrel", and will work cheap.
  • Cheap-labor conservatives oppose a woman's right to choose. Why. Unwanted children are an economic burden that put poor women "over a barrel", forcing them to work cheap.

Emotion over logic.  "Corporations are mean and authoritarian and I hated my Dad so every authoritarian is deliberately keeping me poor, not my liberal arts degree."

But, in order to further the cause of all good conservatives, DTMan has presented its own page to help rally the troops to the side of reason and logic:

How to Defeat the Left in Three Seconds.

GORDON  |  3:30 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


July 30, 2003

Timidity and the Lawsuit Nation.

If there's one thing for which America is rightly ridiculed in faraway lands, it's the pervasiveness of frivolous lawsuits.  The internet is a global culture, and not a week passes that I don't see a Brit or a Canook or an Aussie chuckling at the umbrella of litigation all Americans live under.  I always wish I could argue with them, but instead I have to chuckle along and say, "Heh, yeah, it sucks."

A quote from Evelle J. Younger:

"An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer."

Let me preface the following rant by saying NOT ALL LAWYERS ARE SCUM.  Most of them are, which even lawyers would agree to, but some aren't.  That being said, what kind of educated asshole decides to sue McDonalds because they sell hot coffee?  Who thinks up "being overweight is someone else's fault?"  And there are a thousand other examples.  Since being a lawyer requires you be educated, there's only one answer:  these people are evil, maliciously greedy, or just without a soul...or any combination thereof.  But I'm not saying anything y'all didn't know, am I.

Q. What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

A. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes.

Which brings me to my point - how America is being changed by lawsuits, and there growing culture of fear that's developing.

“Necessity knows no law, I know some lawyers are the same.”

-- Benjamin Franklin

When I was wee, our local grammar school had a playground full of big, metal, dangerous delights.  Huge 20' high swing sets, giant domes of connected metal pipes 8' high, free-range teeter totters.  Metal slides that blistered the skin off your legs in the late spring.  With no seat belts.

“The law is an ass.”

-- Charles Dickens

One winter in approximately the 5th grade, we had a fairly nasty snow storm, which was then a common occurrence in Ohio near Lake Erie.  Though the entire playground was buried in 3 feet of snow (drifted in places 6' and higher), they still let our four foot tall selves out to play at the designated recess times (twice a day, 45 minutes and 20 minutes, respectively.  Apparently people knew long ago that to eliminate symptoms of ADD, you had to run the excess energy out of kids, occasionally.  Lost knowledge.).  Snow was too deep to play tag, one of our fave games.  Ditto kickball.  Swings were snowbound.  Or were they?

“There was a young lawyer who showed up at a revival meeting and was asked to deliver a prayer. Unprepared, he gave a prayer from a lawyer’s heart: ‘Stir up much strife amongst thy people, Lord, lest thy servant perish.’”

-- Senator Sam Ervin

Me and my buddies each grabbed a swing, and began kicking out a trench that would allow us to...swing.  And swing we did...enjoying the rush of the "snow walls" on either side of us at the trough of our manic 160 degree arc.  Swinging so high that at the top of our arc, the chains slackened in a momentary rush of freefall.

A quote attributed to Founding Father John Adams in the play “1776”: “I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called a law firm, and three or more become a Congress.”

I forget which of us did it first, but it was done.  One of us jumped off the swing at the top of the forward pendulum swing, arced gracefully through the air, and landed flat on his back, spread eagle in the newly packed snow.  He came up laughing.  We all laughed because it looked like Wile E. Coyote had fallen off the cliff and had been driven into the ground on impact, leaving a Wile E. Coyote shaped hole.  

Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer.

“How’s it going?” he was asked.

“Not too bad,” he replied. “I still have my lantern.”

It took about 5 seconds for 5 boys to become airborne, making our own 10-year-old-in-winter-clothes-shaped holes.  Over and over we did this, the snow getting more and more packed with each tumble...and tumbling it became.  One of us was daring enough to begin somersaulting before impact, so then we all were.  It is one of a handful of memories I have from that age, and it's a cherished one.  The playground monitors (a couple female teachers) watched us astounded for about ten minutes, then decided we were all psychotic and made us stop.  But we had our moment of flight, grown-ups be damned.  Fortunately, nobody had told us yet how fragile we were, and doing such things would break our bones, hospitalize us, or kill us.  As such, we were immortal, then.... those boys still live, unchanged in the eternal playground of memory.  They mock the world of today, and just keep being boys.

The times, they are a'changing.

ALEXANDRIA, Va., July 5 —  The playgrounds, like so much in Gigi McGaughey’s 4-year-old world, are not the way her parents remember. No 12-foot-tall metal slides shimmer and bake in the summer sun. The hulking jungle gyms where girls would hang by their knees, ponytails dangling over hard asphalt below, have been dismantled. It is hard to find those kid-powered merry-go-rounds that used to give giddy gut-level lessons in centrifugal force.

GONE, TOO, are the seesaws where earlier generations learned the art of cooperation and felt the betrayal of a sudden, bruising letdown.
       Schoolyards and neighborhood parks have been transformed over the past two decades in the name of safety and in fear of lawsuits. The old standbys have given way to shorter, guardrail-lined plastic-and-steel play structures, leaving childhood experts complaining about cookie-cutter sameness and sterile designs that do not challenge today’s youngsters.
       Many parents express a mixture of nostalgia and relief.

As Gigi climbs a short ladder to a play deck with a cheery blue plastic roof, her mother, Rebecca Elliott, recalls scaling the metal teepee, perhaps 20 feet high, on the blacktop of her elementary school in Freehold, N.J.  “The big jungle gym was cool, but at least once a year someone would have a concussion or a broken arm,” said Elliott, 35. She would not allow her daughter on the giant slide she loved as a girl.

And the timid parents are part of this culture of fear.  When my main mode of transportation was a bicycle, a kid would get his ass kicked for wearing a helmet and pads.  And we did things on those bicycles they were never designed for... the 4' high high-speed ramp, and riding on the split rail fence at the ball field come to mind.  My Mom reads this page, so I won't even discuss what we did with metal rails and train bridges.  Again, nobody had told us these things were impossible, so we just did it.  Nowadays, children with helmets and pads are the rule, rather than the exception, if they are allowed out in public at all (too much danger of abduction, of course).  Children are ingrained with the fear of the own fragility at an early age.  No more daring, no more laughing at and coming to an agreement with gravity, no more impossible acrobatic freefall off the snowbound swing set.

Imagine what they're going to do to their kids.

What is a lawyer?  An individual whose principal role is to protect his clients from others of his profession.

GORDON  |  1:13 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


July 29, 2003

The Common Man.

I've been contemplating this post for a couple weeks, and it is going to be difficult to make my point clearly, but here goes:

I think too often the internet community, and the intelligentsia as a whole, makes fun of the uneducated.  Looking back I think I may have been guilty of it too, on occasion.  We on this website often poke fun at the ignorant, when they do ignorant things.  We discuss stupid decisions, stupid laws, stupid policies.  Well, I recently had a revelation about this:

Often it is those who have an education causing the most damage.

Of course we lampoon the fine guests on Jerry Springer talking about their baby-momma and they don't need to finish high school and you don't know me!  But in the end, who else do they hurt but themselves and those around them?  No, I'm talking today about the school administrator with the Masters Degree who thinks it's a good idea to expel the high school valedictorian because she had a butter knife in her car.  The corporate executives with MBAs and lobbyists pushing for laws giving private entities the right of search and seizure.  The people with law degrees removing any sense of personal responsibility from the national psyche by suing McDonalds because some lazy kids developed fat asses.  Elected city officials segregating students for the sole reason of separating those who are different from each other.

Being a news junkie, I read about crap like this every day, and it begins to weigh on a person.  It seems the country goes to hell a little more every day, and that there's no hope.  Strutting sound and fury for my brief time on the stage ultimately ends up signifying nothing.  There's no respite, no reprieve.

It didn't help when I was exposed to this article, talking about "re-education" occurring in American campuses.

Martinez had been suspended in December 1999 because the tone of his voice in some phone calls had created "a hostile atmosphere." Apparently upset over the grade on an exam, he had phoned a female staff member at her office to request an appointment and complained when he was refused. No threats were uttered but -- fully five months after the calls occurred -- the staffer filed a police report claiming that they had made her fear for her safety. (Fortunately, tapes of the conversations later exonerated Martinez of wrong-doing.) In February 2000, his "punishment" was reduced to probation, a letter of apology and attendance at an anger management seminar. He refused and was summarily expelled without the hearing required by University policy.

In the controversy over Martinez's expulsion, one aspect of the unsavory incident is often ignored. Or, perhaps, it has become so commonplace that no one remarks upon it any more. Namely, the university sentenced Martinez to penance through a public confession and to the re-education of his values through psychological therapy. The purpose of the mandatory training -- whether it is anger management, sexual harassment awareness, diversity training, etc. -- is to change a human being's basic values to conform with the PC view of race or gender. Compliance can hardly be called voluntary. For Martinez, refusal was tantamount to canceling years of his life and crippling his career.

It's difficult to just post a portion of that article and get the full impact.  It discusses organized classes teaching students "of color" that the reason they are losers is because white people are evil.  It makes a white man who has put himself in harm's way for the principles his country stands for pretty pissed off.  People mentioned in the above article do not see others as individuals, but as groups being oppressed in one way or another.  Except for the white men who keep every other group down, of course.  I am guilty because I'm white.  Period.  No exceptions.  End of story.

I've argued in the past that Muslim schools, madrassas, are particularly scary because they directly influence impressionable children that Jews actually do grind up Muslim babies to bake into their bread, among other things.  I see the same thing happening in the warped womb of college campuses.  Protected from reality, school faculty are free to heap any deranged personal psychotic politic they wish on their students, and punish them with attitude adjustment for any dissent.

So there's no hope, right?

That's when I remembered that not all people go to college.  Then I remembered that America's Constitution was designed to protect the common man from any who would attempt to suppress him.  After a while, I realized that in my life as a computer programmer and professional webpage whiner, I really didn't make a lot of difference in the world...but the guy who drove the semi to my company's loading dock did.  The farmer in Iowa putting in his first crop of the year did.  The contractor in Ohio building houses did something tangible every day.  Every day they made a noticeable difference in the world.  It was simple for them to look back at the end of the day and see what was accomplished.  They could care less that some college was warping the minds of some spoiled kid from a rich family, it had absolutely no bearing on their life.  What did that have to do with the need for some rain for those crops?  They are completely oblivious to the plight of P2P users and their fight with the RIAA.  How is that relevant to their task to drive 1500 miles in the next 48 hours?  They could give a good goddamn about some poor parent's inability to make their children leave the video games alone and go outside to exercise.  It makes no difference to the guy with a roof to shingle and a wife to keep happy.

I think the conclusion to be made is that having an education doesn't make one smart, and not having gone to college doesn't make one stupid.

And I think there's more of these men not concerned with trivial nonsense than there are college kids getting their degrees in basket weaving and being pigeonholed into "oppressor/victim" roles.

In a nutshell, I don't think 15 million backwoods southerners give a shit about the growing problem of email spam.

I think the foundation of the country will remain solid.

GORDON  |  4:19 pm EDT  Feedback  |  Permalink


Dear RIAA.

I went music shopping today.

I hadn't gone in awhile, and there was a backlog of CDs I wanted to get.  I didn't know much about any of them, because no radio stations play the kind of music I like, and web radio seems to have disappeared.  But, I liked the previous releases from the artists, so I trusted their new releases to be good, too...except for one.

I've been a Queensryche fan since the early 90's.  Loved everything they created up through "Promised Land..." but then they pretty much went to shit; rumor has it their record label wanted them to make their music more "pop."  I still bought the two albums after Promised Land without hearing the contents, and ended up getting screwed.  They sucked.

A few days ago I saw the Ryche had yet another new album out called "Tribes... " and I was tempted.  I always have hope that a band in this situation will find their lost talent and release something again inspiring, but I was still sore from getting burned the last two times.

I went looking for samples of the album on the internet.  I've never used P2P services, so I tried the usual places like the band's website, and the limited selection of poor quality samples on  Long story short, I wasn't able to sample the music.

So I'm not buying this album.

Keep blaming piracy for your slumping sales.

GORDON  |  1:15 am EDT  Feedback Permalink


Rampant piracy is destroying the world.

Civilization is collapsing, and it's completely due to file sharing.

Scholastic, Inc., the U.S. publisher of the Potter books, announced in May that 400 employees had been fired worldwide and said that in mid-July there would be additional spending reductions.

Simon & Schuster, which released both the Clinton and Isaacson books, announced this week that 75 employees would be laid off.

"... the fact remains that our industry continues to be challenged by any number of issues, including the most prolonged period of depressed sales in memory," Simon & Schuster CEO Jack Romanos wrote in a companywide e-mail.

I mean, from slumps in music and movie sales to books, the only answer is P2P services like Napster and Kazaa, right?

GORDON  |  12:40 am EDT  Feedback Permalink


July 28, 2003

You can not trust the evening news.

Almost every day, I am exposed to the opinions of people whose entire field of knowledge from the last five years was fed to them intravenously from the front of their television screen.

Or, even worse, their college professors.

Every day I hear someone tell me how we shouldn't be in Iraq.  We (army guys) are getting our asses kicked every day.  We're only there to steal their oil.  The Iraqis don't want us there.  We're there illegally, and George Bush is a criminal and needs to be impeached.  We ignored the United Nations and acted unilaterally in our own interests in order to make Texas oil companies richer.  George Bush is a puppet of Zionists.  George Bush is a puppet of oil cronies.  George Bush is a puppet for Dick Cheney.  There's no link between Iraq and terrorism.  There's no link between Saudi Arabia and terrorism.  There was no link between Bin Laden and the rightful government of Afghanistan.  France and Germany are truly good nations and opposed to the war for the only reason that all good people are opposed to war.  George Bush is an ignorant cowboy, which is the only reason he invaded Iraq, in addition to having small-penis syndrome.

When I ask where they get their facts, the answer is always either "they don't remember (but everybody knows)," the evening news, or someone "knowledgeable" told them about it, usually someone connected with a university.  To break it down, people form their perception of reality based on what someone else far removed from the situation is telling them, and consider it engraved in stone.  Their minds open just long enough to absorb the byte of sound they're being fed, and close again greedily, holding on to it as gospel conveyed to them personally from a burning bush.

And I see it myself when I watch mass televised "news." If you know to look for it, it's easy to see when "unbiased" reporter interjects their own slant on something they're reporting as news.  The reporters think we need to know what, when, where, and isn't it horrible W made that decision?

In my opinion, it's fine to watch the news as long as you take everything as "Dan Rather said," and not "God stated a fact on network tv."  I realize many of you worship your televisions and will now brand me a heretic, but that's just the way it has to be.  Take your nuggets of information, but don't file them away alongside "sky is blue" and "grass is green."  Slip it in there with, "I heard that new Eminem movie sucked" and "Janice in the office just told me the new girl is stuck-up."  Listen to other peoples' opinions as information not verified, and not engraved-in-granite fact.  Because know what?  Most people are full of shit, and regurgitating someone else's shit just means you're full of shit, too, except that you aren't even bright enough to formulate your own shit.  You need someone else to help you produce shit.

And that's just pitiful.

Here's how to avoid an embarrassing misstep:  "I can't verify this as fact, but Dan Rather said on the news last night that American soldiers were caught by peace-loving French protestors eating the babies of Iraqi war widows.  The soldiers were quoted as saying, 'They taste good with Tabasco-brand hot sauce, yippy ki-yay.'"  This way, if on the off chance you're just spewing someone else's agenda, it won't turn out that you were repeating a bogus fact, just passing on someone else's opinion as an opinion.

It's hard to watch CNN for 2 hours without hearing at least one "reporter" with nice hair talking about all the trouble in Baghdad, and how the general Iraqi public resents the presence of American troops.  Yet, when you read the online diaries of troops actually in the area and/or on the front line, they talk about the general Iraqi public being happy for the American presence, and their observations of the on-scene news reporters is that they always look for the isolated trouble-spot so they can get their news clip of "look how bad it is here, and see me selflessly ignoring danger to report The Truth to you? (And W stole the election)."  These reports see their job as not to report reality, because being pro-America is not currently fashionable.  Their job is to show the sensational.  To show the Anti-America Event that starts and stops with the presence of cameras.  Focusing on an Iraqi family no longer under the threat of death from Saddam's regime just doesn't sell newspapers.  Showing kids being released from political prison is cool for about 15 seconds, but then they just start playing and stuff.  Boring.  And corpses from mass graves just kind of lay there.  Yawn.  But 15 guys burning George Bush in effigy...that's exciting.

I haven't seen one account of an American military man saying the general mood anywhere in Iraq today is anything but friendly toward American troops, Baath Party holdouts not withstanding.

The "From the Front" section of links in the left column is a good start to getting information from the front lines that aren't rewarded for being dishonest.  Lots of personal observations, not spiced up in any way.  Nobody there is trying to get the network world news desk.  Don't take what they say as fact.  Take it as a contrarian's view from someone actually in harm's way, without the ulterior agenda.

And almost none of them wear hair spray.

GORDON  |  12:52 am EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 24, 2003

"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

New show on tv and stuff.

There was just a commercial on NBC saying it would be airing "in a few minutes." Then the tv station showed a notice for 8 seconds saying they don't consider that show appropriate for "family viewing time," so they're not showing it until 1:35 a.m.  It looks like they'll be showing a "Will and Grace" rerun instead.  Showing...ummm...a bunch of gay people during family viewing time?

Because parents can't make their young children not watch it, adults are now being denied things not meant for children.

If you want to let NBC corporate know how asinine the local NBC affiliate in Greenville, NC is, write here.

If you want to talk directly to the buttheads themselves, click here.

GORDON  |  9:27 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 21, 2003

"Bush lied!"

I've been wanting to address the moronic "Bush lied!" crowd clinging to the hope that President Bush has been caught in a lie to rival perjury to a Grand Jury, but I've both been taking time to formulate my thoughts, and lazy.

So, as usual, Mr. Den Beste did it bigger, better, and faster than anything I could have done.

Those who are claiming that the issue of Iraqi weapons-of-mass-destruction was the one-and-only reason why we went to war in Iraq, and that the claim about uranium from Niger was the one-and-only piece of evidence used to justify it, are engaging in historical revisionism which approaches hallucination. But it's hardly surprising that they're hallucinating about this, because they also hallucinated 2 million Iraqi refugees, hundreds of thousand of Iraqi civilians killed when we carpet-bombed all the major cities, a huge uprising of the "Arab Street", a vast and palpable increase in terrorist attacks all over the world and especially against the US, and a military quagmire in Iraq including weeks of bloody street fighting in Baghdad which would result in thousands of American and British dead, and ultimately to ignominious retreat. The reason they're concentrating on this issue now is that they have no other, and in the long run it's actually going to increase their political marginalization. It's a sorry statement about them that they can find nothing else to discuss.
USS Clueless

It's a long post, but he discusses the reasons what we've done why we've done it in a thorough, detailed outline.

Unfortunately, those who hate Bush can't see beyond their their "Bring honesty and integrity back to the White House/Clinton in 2004" protest posters, so they won't read this article, or listen to anyone who does.  The standard response to being confronted with logic is, "Nuh uh, my 'White Men are Evil 301' professor said that's a lie."

I've posted the entire article in the feedback thread, but it's much easier to read in the original.

There's indenting and such.

GORDON  |  8:56 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 17, 2003

Wanted: A Mate.

I just decided I need a new mate.

I have lots of acquaintances, some buddies, and a few good friends.... but nobody I could call a "mate."  Because none of them are English.

Yes, I have decided to go into the market for an English friend.  Someone who can crack me up by telling a dirty joke in that awesome accent, using the word "bollucks" and "bugger."  It would make me look really classy to hang out with a guy like that.

I have a good history with British blokes.  I hung out with one on and off for a few days at a programmer convention in Boston back in '98.  He had the accent, and was just good looking enough to get the ladies.  He thought it was cool that I recognized it when he casually threw out the name of a Druid holiday.  I have nothing but respect for my British brothers (No grudges from the Revolutionary War here!), and I think they appreciate it.  He used to joke around with me, "I'm not English, you wanker.  I'm Welsh.  Now piss off."  What a cut-up.

And the world loves an American/British buddy duo, too.  It just makes you smile to see a brash American cowboy getting along with a proper English gentleman.  During a quiet moment, maybe he can help me realize I don't always have to "shoot first/ask questions later," and I can help him realize that it's ok sometimes to throw "proper" to the winds, and just cut loose.

I thought the first Austin Powers movie was hilarious.

And oh man, don't get me started on Tea Time.  I love iced tea!  It's got to be sweet, though.  I can drink it every meal of the day.  I can just see the look on my American peers' faces when in the middle of a meeting I suddenly look at my watch and saw, "Oops, it's time for tea," and excuse myself.  That would be so cool.

So, if you are or you know an English guy, contact me.  I'm not a psycho, or anything like that.

GORDON  |  2:44 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 16, 2003

DTMan Politically Incorrect Products.

The DTMan store is now online.


New items are coming frequently, but the feedback on existing merchandise has been excellent.  The meager profits of each item will help defray server costs.  I like this method of gathering money better than the "tip jar" idea.

A lot of the items are rude and crude.  They will frighten and disturb those who would force you to be politically correct, and make you watch what you say.

And that's the point.

It's our God given right to be assholes, and when possible point out the stupidity in others.

I know for a fact Thomas Jefferson would love this store.

You can make comments and suggestions for changes to existing items in the feedback thread.

GORDON  |  4:35 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 14, 2003

The search for FCK's (a.k.a. WMD's).

I like this answer.

To complain about the absence of WMDs at this point would be like having liberated Auschwitz during WWII only to grouse that there wasn't any cylon-b in the concentration camp, just dead bodies.
Roger L. Simon


GORDON  |  11:37 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 10, 2003

Best educational tool: a good piece of hickory over the head.

Introducing the new line of educational apparel.  Let your clothes say what society won't let you.

If I get 6 or more people wanting to buy one, I'll make an order.


GORDON  |  9:17 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 3, 2003

A couple movie reviews.

Saw two movies over the last couple days, Legally Blonde 2, and The Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines.  I saw Legally Blonde first, so I'll review it first.

My woman wanted to see it...I just need to say that.  I didn't mind going too much, as I kind of liked the first movie, but it wasn't my first choice.  T3 opened yesterday, after all.... but as with most things in marriage, it's easier just to forget everything that makes you a male, and just do what the woman wants.

I kind of like the first Legally Blonde movie, because for all of it's "I'm a silly rich California girl in Boston" fish out of water storyline, it was kind of a smart movie.  It was about challenging stereotypes, and using your head to solve problems.  Fine.  The second movie... just had a lot more silly parts.  The hard-ass female Senator who suddenly becomes the giggly little girl, for instance.  Just doesn't make sense.  There were a lot of jokes about California sorority girls just for the sake of making a joke, not making a point.

And, I didn't appreciate all the subliminal messages during the movie.  They were extremely distracting, and may have taken away from my enjoyment.  "How do you know there was subliminal messages?" you ask, "if they were subliminal?"  I know they were there and what they were saying, because there was a single phrase repeating in my head during most of the movie..."Leave the bitch here and go into the next theatre and watch Terminator."

About half way through the movie, I started looking on the floor like I dropped something.  I looked on the floor, I craned my neck to look under the seats in front of me.  "What are you looking for?" she asks.

"Help me find them...they fell," I answered.

"What fell?"

"My testicles just fell off."  

I always feel a little self conscious being the only guy in the theatre.

So today, we saw Terminator 3.

I went in hoping for the best, and expecting the worse....but I'm very pleased to say it was better than I'd expected.  There's so many ways it could have sucked, I'm glad to report they avoided almost all the dangers.

Couple thoughts:  This new female advanced model Terminator...the TX...seems a little more fragile than the liquid metal version in T2.  Odd.  Another thing....I'm kind of tired of these movies where the bad guy can't be stopped, or even slowed down by bullets...and yet the heroes always delay their escape by waiting to empty the clip in it, first.  I guess they're always hoping for that "one lucky shot."  And, I've decided that CGI looks like shit, almost always.  The only half-way decent way I've seen it used so far has been Gollum, in The Two Towers.  Everything else just looks cartoony.  I say that because in a couple small instances in T3 they used cgi, it was very obvious and my immersion in the movie was shattered when I thought, "crummy cgi work."  Well, that and the FUCKING BABY AND TODDLER who kept crying/singing during quiet, dramatic moments of the film.  And, I didn't know Claire Danes was in this film.  As soon as her character appeared, I started thinking, "My So-Called Terminator."  And, it was a little difficult to feel the danger of the Terminatrix this time, the way you felt danger when the liquid metal cop was around in T2.  Know why?  It's because of Arnold.  Everyone associates him with light humor anymore, no matter what kind of character he plays.  You start to feel the evil determination of the chick robot, but then they cut to Arnold being cute.  Then you are supposed to feel danger again when the chick is trying to kill peeps.  Too much, too hard.  And one last get the sense at one point they've traveled hundreds of miles to get away and hide from the Terminatrix...but then a couple times when they decide they have to be somewhere, it's always "an hour away."  Just made me go "Hmmm."

The movie had enough minor left-turns to make me think, "wow, that's a neat twist to the story," and it ends at a pretty logical place to "terminate" this chapter, but leaves the door wide open for some interesting sequels.  The ending made me think of "Dr. Strangelove," and that's always a good thing.

I recommend waiting to see Legally Blonde 2 on video, if at all.  But you should go see Terminator 3 in the theatres.  Pick the theatre with the "no babies" rule.

Discussion threads in the movie forum.

GORDON  |  9:07 pm EDT   Link to:


July 2, 2003

  "Companies have more rights than government."

I sat down this evening to write a witty post about the chick flick I saw today in matinee, and I saw forum member TheCatt had written an excellent forum post about today's white collar workplace.  So here it is.

Today, I had to have a drug test.  Did I do something stupid at work?  Have I been acting a little weird lately?  Shirking my responsibilities?  Coming in late?  No, I just completed the implementation of an IT project that supports a $180MM capital expenditure.

But the company has decided that all new employees and contractors must be screened, and undergo a background check.  Part of the background check is listing everywhere you have lived in the past 7 years.  I graduated college just over 7 years ago, so I've had the usual post-college moving about/changing jobs, etc.  I've lived 8 different places in the past 7 years.  I remember 3 of the addresses completely.  The other 5 I sorta had to wing.  I don't know if "Apt Unknown, Street unknown and Zip code unknown" are warning flags, but I sure hope they aren't.

Today, I did the drug test portion.  I showed up at a local doc in the box (couldn't even schedule a time to perform the service).  Then, I had to wait 45 minutes for a nurse to help my friend and me.  In a waiting room full of sick people.  Fun.  With the television tuned to the absolutely worst daytime soap ever, apparently.  I've blocked out the name to save my sanity, but it's on NBC at 2pm and had a scene about a chimp doing the "dead man walking" bit. (WTF?)

At any rate, I chose the seat farthest from the obviously sick people around me, and waited my time.  Then I got called up after a couple of minutes.

Me: Yes?
Them: You need to provide a Social Security Number.
Me: No.  It's not legally required.
Them: But we need it to track this..
Me: Make one up.
Them: What?
Me: Start with 7, 8 or 9, no SSN can start with those numbers, just write something down.
Them: I'll have to call your employer.
Me: Fine.

As I sat down, it occurs to me I should have just made one up that starts with a 7, 8 or 9 and told them that, but oh well, too late.  Not a peep more out of them, and 40 minutes later I'm called back.  I'm given my cup, my instructions and my 4 minute time-limit.  No stage fright, and I comply.

I give her the sample, and thoroughly wash my hands (for some reason handling the cup feels much much dirtier than just peeing).  I then check out the paper-work, and sure enough, my SSN is there, dutifully provided by my employer.  At this point, I decide to quit my job.  Not today, but soon.  I also resolve to check out my contract and see what it says about my confidential information (like SSN).

When I get back to the office and check out my job contract, I find out that I've basically signed my life away.  I have to give 10 days notice, but the company (due to circumstance beyond their control, of course) can terminate me with absolutely no notice.  I can't sue them in any way, and have signed away all rights to due so, but they can sue me if I do something negligent.  

At this moment, I realize that I am the modern day version of a slave, and the corporation is my modern day master.

There is no 4th amendment, no 1st amendment, and certainly no 2nd.  I'm willing to believe they'd station troops in my house, so we'll throw out the 3rd amendment too.  The 5th? No, that went with the 4th on my drug test. As for the 6th, yes, the decision will be right "speedy," but neither public nor impartial.  And since it's not really trial, goodbye #7.  When I think about my cubicle, I realize that I've already been sentenced to a punishment that while not unusual in today's society, is certainly cruel.  As for the 9th and 10th, I've already covered the fact that I've signed away every right I can think of.

Companies today continuously lobby for more rights, and have more power in government that any group of individuals except probably the AARP.  I used to have a fairly laissez-faire approach too, until I finally realized just how far they had gone.  The language in my job contract is distressing to say the least.  And as of yet, I'm not quite sure what the solution is.  But I know it's not sitting in a room for 45 minutes and being made to piss in a plastic cup.

 He went on to add


I think all I have to add is this: if I recall correctly, the advent of the Social Security system had a lot of people up-in-arms over having a number attached to them.  People were very concerned back then about having that one number following them wherever they went.  People didn't want to be tracked.  "Privacy concerns" weren't invented in the internet age.  The government assured the people of the United States that their Social Security Number would be used one place, and one place only: to track their Social Security contributions and acquired benefits.

Apparently someone is screwing up, or just stopped caring.

GORDON  |  9:07 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


July 1, 2003

  Let's just nip this in the bud right here.

I knew it...telemarketers are already whining about layoffs in their industry, and the effective date of the damned Do-Not-Call list is still months away.

In just four days, more than 10 million people have signed up to stop telemarketers from calling. But there is another side to the story -- people whose jobs will be squeezed out by the new restrictions.


For 10 years, Blackwood has sold, mostly vacation packages, over the phone. And he spends plenty of time defending how he earns a living.

"The way other people look at me sometimes is the villain that calls during dinner, who won't leave you alone, who won't take no for an answer. I definitely take no for an answer," he said.

Now, with millions signing onto the national Do Not Call list, Blackwood fears there may not be many jobs left to defend. And he wants people to understand -- telemarketing isn't just an annoying interruption. It's a way for thousands of families like his to survive.
komo 4

Let's have the "f-word" two posts in a row...CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER.  Hey chief...everybody you meet "looking at you like a villain" doesn't mean they're all wrong and you're right.

Here's a clue since you obviously don't have one: the shutting down of a telemarketing vacation package business means other vacation package businesses will soon be selling more vacation packages, and will need to hire extra help.  I'm sure they'd appreciate a man of your vast vacation package selling experience.

And hell, even if two million telemarketers get put out of work and can't find jobs, well.....



GORDON  |  10:50 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


  Fucking Oprah.

But not in a sexual way.

I've been exposed to a lot of daytime television since the move, as my little woman is not yet employed.  As such, she has the television on all day, and not to the daily Sci-Fi Channel marathons or "Wings at War" or "Monster Machines" that men like to watch.

Today, the background noise was Oprah.  While I planned my next move in our Axis & Allies email game and did the rest of my daily duties, I got to hear Oprah talk about how dangerous windows were in your house.  Did you know that if a child opened one and threw itself out that they could die?  Yeah, big shocker to me, too.  Well, the gist of the thing was that all current windows needed to be made illegal, and childproof windows with big bright DANGER signs on them needed to be the new building code.  Because, you know, something like 24 kids died from falling out of windows last year.

24 stupid kids that don't know enough as to not fall out of a STATIONARY FUCKING WINDOW.

And yesterday...I still get angry thinking about it.

Husband, wife, couple young kids, one is an infant.

The husband claims that since his wife is a stay-at-home Mom, that there's really no reason to not have a clean house in addition to having the kids fed and taken care of.  "My Mom did it," he says, "She kept a spotless house and she had six kids to raise.  My wife has two.  There's no excuse."  

So his wife cries to Oprah with the "He doesn't know how hard it is" approach.

So, Oprah sets it up that the man has the house and duties for three days while the wife sits at a spa, and his ordeal will be filmed, for good or bad.

What follows is classic "fish out of water."  They show the man for almost three full days not knowing where to find things, like baby diapers and such.  Then he isn't sure the proper procedure for changing the takes him over 30 minutes the first time.  He doesn't know how to feed or bathe the baby.  He has no time to cook for himself or the other daughter.  He screws up the laundry, because he has never done it before.  By the 3rd day he's been run ragged, and he's glad when his wife finally gets home.  He kisses her, apologizes for being an ass, and says he'll never imply that she is an unorganized, lazy bitch ever again.  I paraphrased that last bit, of course.  The women in Oprah's audience, of course, loved it.

Now, a translation.

He's never done laundry or changed the baby.  I'll give the women that.  But.  Remembering the last time I tried to do laundry, and how I got nagged and chastised for "not doing it right," I can maybe see what the problem there is.  But don't forget that this woman doesn't have a career, and it is her sole job in the world to take care of the kids and keep the house nice.  She does that stuff day in and day out, she knows the routine, and apparently things still aren't getting done.  The woman confessed as much in the original statement of "there's not enough hours in the day."

The husband got thrown into the deep end of the pool, and at the end of three days was a little worn out and frazzled, but also wiser....and still there.  I guarantee you that if he kept doing the house-husband thing beyond three days, and kept the camera on him, we'd have your classic Mr. Mom situation.

Why?  Because men are inherently more organized.  Yeah, I said it.  I'd like to see Oprah's cameras trained on the woman all day and see how "hectic" her day really is.  Since it won't take her a half hour to change a diaper, and supposedly she knows how to feed the baby and whatnot, what else does she do with her time?

Oh yeah, we've already established she's an Oprah fan.

The husband was so out of his element that in trying to learn the system he didn't have time to feed himself, but the wife watches Oprah when there's laundry to be done.

Draw your own conclusions.

GORDON  |  6:16 pm EDT  Feedback Link to:


 Yet more archives!!!!!!!!!!