Synopsis:
WotC pumps $12M into a movie to prove they can out-shlock anything Asylum has to offer, for just over 10 to 15 times the budget.
Review:
It's a step up from the last two. But that's like saying a diseased hooker is an upgrade from a sandpaper blowup doll.
At least it's about a knight going undercover with some assholes, so there's mayhem and murder. No, seriously, they needlessly explode someone's head.
The painful parts:
- The CG special effects that look dated by 1990s standards. It didn't help I had Smaug to compare this flick's dragon against.
- The C- and D-movie acting. I can't imagine watching this sober and keeping it on for more than ten minutes. Ed Wood has coaxed better performances out of actors.
- The insistence of referring to every fucking magic spell, god, item, and creature by its proper, according-to-the-handbook name. I bet some WotC Nazi editors sat through painstakingly checking shit for accuracy. It kills dialogue that's already delivered in a manner which makes R2-D2 sound like Michael Caine.
- The slow, creeping feeling that you're watching nothing but the world's best funded LARP expedition.
Verdict:
Ass. But they were at least bright enough to cut every tie with the first two films. Given above average actors, no WotC script interference, and the same visual effects resources James Cameron had when making T2, this would almost be watchable, and dare I say it, maybe only half-ass.
Edited By Malcolm on 1387135670
Dungeons & Dragons: Book of Vile Darkness - At 'Dem Flicks with Malcolm
The last two have been WotC propaganda films. Word is they got all kinds of reps on the sets.GORDON wrote:They made sequels to the D&D movie???
My god.
My god.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."