Would you rather...

Post by **Leisher** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 9:33 am

Saw this today and it's one of the more interesting "would you rather" questions I've ever seen.

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:22 am

I'm curious as hell as to what animals are saying and thinking, but I'm guessing after the initial trill it turns into a lot of "I need to poop. Where's food? I'm tired" on endless repeat.

Does this mean when crickets chirp I'll understand them, or I'll just hear chirps if I want? If I'm walking through nature, do I hear a bunch of "voices" or can I just hear the chirps and whatever?

Post by **TPRJones** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:13 am

I imagine being able to understand all insects and animals would mean never having a moment's peace when you aren't having something talking at you. Do you know how many spiders alone are in the average home? And I bet they never shut up.

No way. I'll take the languages of man, and then avoid people.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 11:30 am

I want the ability to communicate with the majority of the biomass on this planet. I have Rosetta Stone software for people. I don't have that for honey badgers.

Post by **Vince** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:17 pm

Yeah, the animals would be interesting for a while, but it would certainly ruin hunting for me.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:22 pm

Vince wrote:Yeah, the animals would be interesting for a while, but it would certainly ruin hunting for me.

Even if it's restricted to animals considered "smart" I'd be up for it. Elephants, orcas, octopi, etc.

Post by **TPRJones** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 4:05 pm

If it were so restricted - or if it came with an on/off switch - then I'd probably change my answer to the animals one.

Post by **TheCatt** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 6:03 pm

TPRJones wrote:If it were so restricted - or if it came with an on/off switch - then I'd probably change my answer to the animals one.

I would want the on/off switch.

I still chose the animals, cuz I'm hellacurious, and I'd like to be able to communicate with the animals. Like I'd like to tell my pet rabbit things like "don't fucking do that" or "do this and you'll get a treat"

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 6:30 pm

It comes with the same on/off switch normal hearing does. Convince the other party to stfu or get ear plugs. Although you'd need more than just audio to talk to everything.

Edited By Malcolm on 1423870266

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 7:42 pm

Eh, I chose the all languages. Almost every damned animal is not going to have anything interesting to say.

Crickets: HORNY! HORNY! HORNY!

Cats: I tolerate you in exchange for food and shelter, and I cuddle with you for warmth and to get my fur groomed.

Dogs: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Dolphins: Look at you, can you even breathe in this water? Whatever, I am going to try to rape you now.

Most other animals are just going to be some combination of fuck me/feed me.

Crazy thing is, I don't really care about knowing all languages except as a means to know what other people are saying about you, or to impress women.

Communication is overrated.

Post by **TPRJones** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 8:26 pm

Well, you could probably make good money off the all languages one. Translators aren't cheap, especially ones with multiple languages and high fluency.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:31 pm

TPRJones wrote:Well, you could probably make good money off the all languages one. Translators aren't cheap, especially ones with multiple languages and high fluency.

I'm pretty sure the Cesan Milan's commercial bizzes are outdoing the best translators. If I get to multiply that by every other household pet, it's not even close.

Post by **TPRJones** » Fri Feb 13, 2015 10:50 pm

But you'd have to deal with customers crazy enough to believe you can talk to their pets. Who wants that hassle?

Post by **TheCatt** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:17 am

TPR convinced me. I want the animals one.

Post by **Vince** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 9:55 am

GORDON wrote:Eh, I chose the all languages. Almost every damned animal is not going to have anything interesting to say.

Crickets: HORNY! HORNY! HORNY!

Cats: I tolerate you in exchange for food and shelter, and I cuddle with you for warmth and to get my fur groomed.

Dogs: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!

Dolphins: Look at you, can you even breathe in this water? Whatever, I am going to try to rape you now.

Most other animals are just going to be some combination of fuck me/feed me.

Crazy thing is, I don't really care about knowing all languages except as a means to know what other people are saying about you, or to impress women.

Communication is overrated.

In a recent episode of The Flash the line was said, "How is it you can speak in 6 different languages and sound like a dick in every one?"

Post by **GORDON** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:20 pm

TheCatt wrote:TPR convinced me. I want the animals one.

I think you guys just watched too much of this guy growing up.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:59 pm

TPRJones wrote:But you'd have to deal with customers crazy enough to believe you can talk to their pets. Who wants that hassle?

Crazy customers pay. I'm not going to tell them I can actually speak to the animals, either. I'll bullshit up something about body language, eye contact, whatever.

Post by **TheCatt** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 3:15 pm

I've heard of Beastmaster before, but no recollection of watching it.

But I mean... I already speak the language that I hear 99.99% of the time as far as people are concerned.

Edited By TheCatt on 1423944938

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:22 pm

TheCatt wrote:I've heard of Beastmaster before, but no recollection of watching it.

There are 3 or 4 I think. Plus a shitty TV show.