Wolverine

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
Vince
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Post by Vince »

Malcolm wrote:It was "horse humping thundercunt."
Nope. Watched it again a couple of weeks ago. Think he called her a horse humping something or other. But it was "cock juggling thunder cunt".
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Eh, if you've brave enough to watch it more than once, I believe your version.
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Post by GORDON »

Bootleg trailer.

http://wolverine-trailer.blogspot.com/2008....eg.html

Hey look... Gambit.
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Vince
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Post by Vince »

Was that The Blob?
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

It was indeed the Blob.

Not to mention: Gambit, Maverick, Silver Fox, Sabertooth (who can talk this time), Lady Deathstrike, and Deadpool (look for a spin off movie for the merc with a mouth).
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Leisher wrote:The biggest news is Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. That has "Role he was born to play" potential. Here's hoping they go through with the spinoff film.

For those who don't know Deadlpool, picture Wolverine only more as a...normal height white guy mercenary. Strip away the adamantium laced bones and claws, keep the healing factor, but add in horrific facial scaring and cancer. (I think the scaring and the cancer go hand in hand.) Now throw in Spider-Man's continuous banter only tweak it to be a lot more adult. Liberally add every conceivable weapon The Punisher ever dreamed of, and finally, top it off with the Joker's peaceful nature.

That's Deadpool.
Not anymore. Least, not quite the Deadpool you're hoping for.
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Post by GORDON »

It was 'eh' Went with Leisher, who knows the comics, and he was vomiting over the changes made to Deadpool. His date was pissed.

It was pretty much what I expected. People getting run through with blades, and the blades being blood-free when pulled out. Also, the trailers already told me most of the interesting bits that would have been exciting to learn on the big screen. Most of the big plot points were broadcasted way ahead of time.

Again, 'eh.'
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Any PG-13 "action" flick I see advertised immediately gets "renter" status from that fact alone.
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Post by GORDON »

I was pleased with the harshness of language... everything short of f-bombs... but the sanitized violence turns me off every time.

Also, I still hate that so much is spoiled in the trailers.
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TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

GORDON wrote:People getting run through with blades, and the blades being blood-free when pulled out.
Do you mean Wolverine's blades? Because I thought it had always been that way. If not, then everytime I pulled them out they'd be covered in his blood.

I figured Adamantium had an absurdly low friction factor and thus blood wouldn't adhere to it. It sort of makes sense. Not really, but it's a comic, so why not.
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Post by GORDON »

No, not Wolverine's.
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Post by TPRJones »

oh, nm then.
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Post by Leisher »

Do you mean Wolverine's blades? Because I thought it had always been that way. If not, then everytime I pulled them out they'd be covered in his blood.

I figured Adamantium had an absurdly low friction factor and thus blood wouldn't adhere to it. It sort of makes sense. Not really, but it's a comic, so why not.


Years ago after Magneto ripped the Adamantium off his bones Wolverine popped his bone claws during a training room session. It was their first appearance in the comics and nobody, including Wolverine, knew they were there. Anyway, the artwork for that moment showed blood pouring out of his hands where the bone claws had penetrated the skin.

Anyway, it fits what TPR speculates about the friction on the Adamantium versus blood coming out when his claws are bone.

I also remember Kitty Pride asking him if the claws hurt when they came out (although, I don't remember if he had the bone claws or metal ones at the time) and he said he popped them at least a few times a day as the holes were like earring holes. Another stretch of logic, particularly for a character who can heal a bullet wound almost instantly, but at least they're trying...
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Post by GORDON »

I thought the answer to "Does that hurt?" was, "Every time."

And I thought it was Rogue asking.
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Post by Leisher »

MOVIE REVIEW

I want to be upfront with this and say that not only am I a tough film critic, but I've also been a fan of Wolverine's since I picked up my first comic book. In fact, I'm old enough that I was a Wolverine fan before he was hugely popular. I remember buying his first limited series in the store when it was coming out. So I know the character pretty well.

The creators of this movie don't.

In fact, I would easily rank this as one of the worst written movies I've ever seen. The whole thing seems more like a series of disconnected scenes intended to allow some other "guest star" mutant a chance to shine. Here's this guy for 5 minutes, here's this guy for 5 minutes, repeat continuously.

And understand I know that Hollywood sometimes has to alter some items from established properties to make them "filmable". Although, don't get me started on how I think that's bullshit, especially these days, and Zack Snyder's work proves it.

However, this film is just an ugly mess and it is so obvious that nobody involved had an passion for the story, and probably not even the character.

The worst part is that they have big plans to do a sequel (Hugh Jackman wanted to do the sequel more than this film because it's a far more interesting time in Wolverine's story.) AND a spinoff based on at least one of the characters in the film, Deadpool. I have never, in my entire life, seen such a monumental skull fucking of an established character. To make things worse, the creators here essentially made it pretty impossible to make a spinoff based on that character. One could argue that a spinoff could be made based on Wade Wilson, who is the man that becomes Deadpool, but there are all sorts of logistics issues there. (I say it that way because I don't want to spoil anything.)

The skull fucking of Deadpool is going to be too much for anyone familiar with the source material to look past. It's impossible. To put it in a way that a majority of people would be able to understand: Imagine if someone remade Star Wars and instead of Anakin becoming Darth Vader, Jar Jar Binks did...

Seriously, that's how badly the writers fucked this movie up. I am not kidding.

Everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING from the source material has been changed and it's all been for the worse.

The only thing I can give the writers a pass on is the portrayal of Wolverine and Sabretooth as brothers. (That's not a spoiler as it's revealed prior to the opening credits.) Despite them not being brothers in the comics, the actual explanation there was such a disaster that Marvel is trying to pretend the storyline revealing their true relationship never happened. So, the brothers idea was better than what is in the comics.

To those Hollywood fucksticks who want to point to the $87 million box office and claim that they know what they're doing, I'd like to point out a couple of things:
1. You didn't fuck things up too badly in the 3 X-Men films, so people were right to think this could be good.
2. $55 million of the 87 million weekend total came on opening night. Not a good sign. Anyone remember the American skull fucking of Godzilla? $99 million opening weekend, and like $3 total after that. Why? Because word got out and everyone else skipped it. Just like that piece of shit, word is getting out and you won't be getting any repeat business either.
3. You don't have to make a Wolverine film that is EXACTLY like the comics, you just have to not shit on the source material. The X-Men films did so decently enough that it didn't turn off your core audience. Ditto for the Spider-Man films. Ditto for the Batman films.
4. You have completely ruined any shot the Deadpool movie had at being a success. Sorry, but people want to see Deadpool, not Wade Wilson.

Hugh Jackman really drove this film through production and I don't know whether to hate him for being an insincere dick or feel pity for him because he's so stupid. This guy has gone on and on about how faithful he's trying to make this stuff to the source material and how well he knows the characters, etc, etc. He's either lying or he's got the brains of a slug.

Just a fucking embarrassment and a mess of a film.

If you hate characterization, good storylines, the X-Men, Wolverine, and Marvel comics. This is the movie for you.

I honestly can't recommend this film to anyone. It is a steaming turd of a movie that comes off as nothing more than a spit in the face of anyone who knows the slightest thing about the source material. On top of that, it's simply poorly made. Listen to the majority of critics on this one because they're right.

Don't go see it, don't buy the DVD, and don't rent it.

1 out of 10.
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Post by Leisher »

I thought the answer to "Does that hurt?" was, "Every time."

And I thought it was Rogue asking.


In the first film, yes.

I'm talking about in the comics though.
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Post by TheCatt »

Don't go see it, don't buy the DVD, and don't rent it.

Can I watch the pirated workprint?
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Post by Leisher »

Can I watch the pirated workprint?


If you told me that you were offered $10 to see the movie, I'd tell you to skip it.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
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