The first line of the article destroys the movie and all of its hype:
Ten years ago, moviegoers were scared out of their minds by "The Blair Witch Project."
The writer should have just said "I know nothing about movies" or "All my knowledge comes from marketers".
But seriously, this article is front page news on Yahoo today. In fact, it was the top story. Watch the trailer and note they show the audience watching the film as much as they show the film.
That's where the brilliance lies behind this movie. This is another Blair Witch. Low budget combined with savvy marketing equals good profits.
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
Ten years ago, moviegoers were <s>scared</s> bored out of their minds by "The Blair Witch Project."
Fixed.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Remember the Family Guy where Brian was the seeing eye dog and took the blind guy to see it?
"Nothing's happening, nothing's happening. Something about a map. Nothing's happening. It's over. A lot of people look pissed."
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
WARNING: If you want to see this film, and I HIGHLY recommend seeing it with no prior knowledge, do not read this review. I believe it will be impossible to read this, and then see the movie, and enjoy it.
The hype behind this movie was deafening. "Scariest film ever!" "Don't watch it alone!"
Blah blah blah.
The Blues Brothers was scarier than this film.
Paranormal Activity is the story of a man and a woman living together who hear things go bump in the night. The guy gets a big expensive camera to record the house at night so they can figure out what's going on. The girl reveals that such "hauntings" have been following her since she was 8 years old (she's about 22 in the movie).
Let's hit the good stuff first:
-There is a scene later in the film when something happens to the girl. Let's just say it's the way she leaves the bed and goes down the hall...that was pretty cool.
-Katie Featherston does a great job.
-They did a good job of setting the mood.
Now let's touch on the bad parts of the film:
-The writing was HORRIBLE.
-It's not scary. There's not even a "jump out of your seat" moment.
-Both characters had to act out of character to stretch the film out. I can't stress this one enough. The actions of this man and woman simply made NO sense whatsoever.
-The guy, in particular, was a train wreck of a character. He's the skeptic in the film who doesn't believe in any of this, but that stance would change depending on if the story needed to advance. See, his actions drive the whole film. Thus, in some scenes he needs to be this big skeptic, while in others he needs to believe, and then later, he needs to be a skeptic again, and so on. Worse still, When faced with evidence that proves nothing, he believes, then later when faced with actual evidence of the supernatural, he doesn't. Utter garbage.
-The guy's behavior deserves a second bullet point. It's that stupid, and it drives the film forward!!!
-The girl's character isn't much better. For reasons explained in the story, her involvement is more personal and she fully believes from day one, yet lets the skeptic call the shots, even when she feels like her life is on the line!
Girl: "I might die unless I call this number."
Guy: "This is all bullshit and I'm handling it."
Girl: "But we've seen actual evidence that it can hurt us, it's real, and we can't do anything about it."
Guy: "True, it did hurt us, and I couldn't stop it, but it's not real. Oh, and I'm handling it."
Girl: "Ok, I guess I won't do something so time consuming and involved as dialing a phone number to save my life."
(Seriously, that's half the film.)
-It has a Blair Witch ending because everyone loved that so much...
On a side note, there is an alternative ending, and I'd like to point out that if they had combined the guy from the first ending and the girl from the alternate ending, it would have been a far better ending than either of the two they did make.
Look, my wife is legit into this crap. She believes in ghosts, psychics, hauntings, and all that crap. Anyway, she was upset about watching this film. All she could talk about was how people who saw it complained about losing sleep and always having the lights on because they were so terrified. Well when it was over she said, "That was really stupid, and not even remotely scary. Neither of them acted like a real person would in that situation."
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, would be stupid enough to do what these two people did to further the storyline. Remember The Simpsons episode where Lisa hooked up a cupcake to an electrical current and then watched as Bart kept trying to get it and was shocked each time? It was funny because a normal person wouldn't try to grab it again after 2 attempts (chalking the first shock up to a fluke). This movie needs people to think that an average person would try to grab that cupcake a dozen more times...even when they know they'll die.
I really wanted to like this film. Why is it so hard to write a film that flows with characters that act like real people?
Rent it if you're curious about the hype. Just be aware that now that you're read this review, you'll be thinking about how stupid the characters are through the whole film. That's why I warned you at the beginning.
3 out of 10.
Edited By Leisher on 1265043517
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
Leisher wrote:...and I HIGHLY recommend seeing it with no prior knowledge...
Just to clarify (I haven't read your review yet) does this mean you both highly recommend seeing it and not knowing anything in advance? Or is this not a statement about how strongly you believe one should see it, and is limited only to highly recommending that IF one is to see it do so before reading this?
I wasn't particularly interested in this one, but if you highly recommend it I will reconsider.
"ATTENTION: Customers browsing porn must hold magazines with both hands at all times!"
I only recommend you go in fresh IF you want to see it.
I do say to rent it IF you are interested in seeing it because of the hype.
However, my overall rating of the film was 3 out of 10.
So you can rest easy knowing you can skip this movie. In fact, if you've seen The Blair Witch Project, you've essentially seen this movie.
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
Me thinks I'll start a spoiler thread to discuss the stupidity.
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
I'm not sure what it is about this kind of movie that polarizes people into either "liked it," or "the fact this movie exists puts me into a rage" camps.
I thought that for what this movie was, it was good. It was a bare-bones horror. Very step-by-step, not many frames were wasted. I can appreciate the simplicity, and how spooky it was to have the characters walk into an empty room and see a swinging chandelier. You KNOW the guy with the boom mic/writer/grip set it to swinging 5 seconds earlier, but it doesn't matter.
The only thing I didn't appreciate was how stupid the boyfriend was because he was inconsistent and annoying, and the ouija board that moved by itself. That was just too over the top. I would have liked it better if, after they left the room, the board was just thrown to the floor by something invisible. Make the movie even simpler. I dunno.
Not the best movie I've ever seen, but it certainly made the dark house feel spooky after I was done watching it. Mission accomplished, I guess.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Really? I couldn't get past the ignorance of the whole thing to have any feelings of dread about anything. It COULD have. By all means. That same story told in not such a retarded way could have been an epic thriller type thing. But as it was, you just got pissed at the retardedness.
Add to the fact that it was showing in limited theaters and people supposedly demanded it be shown in more was just as retarded as the movie. It was ALWAYS going to be shown everywhere. They hyped it by creating the 'demand' drama. Fucking bullshit marketing. Not that I ever fell for it. Just added to the retardedness. I would have NEVER seen this movie had my nephew not bought it and put it on the TV so that it was the only option for TV viewing that evening.
Cake's making a great point. This movie wasn't about telling a story, it was about making money, and that's why it sucks balls.
This was a Blair Witch knockoff in every way. They went cheap with the actual filming, had no actual story, a bullshit ending, pseudo pretended it was real, and used the internet to hype the shit out of the film.
If they're going to fleece people this way, the very least they could have done was write characters that were consistent. You know, since the entire film hinges on how they respond to the supernatural events in their house.
Is it really too much to ask that movies have logical plots with characters that act like a normal person would act?
Although, the movie does answer the age old question: Do demons have pockets? (It's where he kept that photo for 20 years...)
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
What I read was the writer/director, who actually lived in that condo/whatever, heard some noises in his place, and then made a movie around it. Got a couple no-names to star in it. Made the whole thing for $11k.
I mean yeah, everyone wants to make money... but it isn't like this was some massive effort by a major studio to make something that appeared to be indy.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
This movie absolutely sucked. There were precisely zero moments approaching any kind of anxiety whatsoever. Just hit the mute button & watch the parts where it looks like something's happening. Fast forward through everything else.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Just watched it again with my wife, who never saw it before.
After it was over I told her that if I ever wake up in the middle of the night and she is just standing there staring at me, I am going to just stab her in the heart and call it self defense.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Seeing as how the third fucking sequel for this thing is already done, I must reiterate how much each and every one sucks. There is more tension and fear felt during the waiting period for medical test results.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
