Pilgrim: Into the Dark (2019)

[Leisher]

Hulu

I should really move all of these Into the Dark movies into one thread... They're apparently doing well enough that the 1 year experiment is still going.

This holiday themed horror movie is about...Thanksgiving.

A "typical family" of dad, step mom, daughter from the first marriage, and step brother are celebrating Thanksgiving. Step Mom and the daughter have issues, of course, and that leads to the daughter making a negative wish via the wishbone regarding step mom's upcoming Thanksgiving reenactment.

First, there's a party with friends that is completely unnecessary. It also featured a really diverse crowd, which is great, but not realistic. The last party guests are the actors and they are way into their roles. The reenactment covers another house, step mom's best friend, where a single white mother is raising her mixed son who is also secretly dating the daughter, who I didn't mention is also mixed. Diversity was apparently a really, really, really important thing here.

Anyway, the mixed daughter makes a lot of negative comments towards the European settlers, because of course she does. She's all woke and whatnot.

Side Soap Box Rant: All of you "The white pilgrims were the bad guys and the white colonists got even worse and committed genocide to those poor Indians" can all shut the fuck up until you're willing to give up ALL of your claims to property in North America and move off the continent so its "rightful owners" can take it back. Until you do that, you're like a guy who received a stolen TV, found out it was your neighbor's, you chastised the fuck out of the thief, but refuse to give it back to your neighbor. By continuing to live here, you are complicit in whatever sins/crimes you think were committed. Bad shit happened in history. No country was created without bloodshed and every race/religion has blood all over their hands. Get the fuck over it. End rant.

The pilgrims (Washington should absolutely change their name from the Redskins to the Pilgrims and watch people's heads explode) are just there to teach everyone about the true meaning of Thanksgiving, which is to appreciate what you have. And there's your justification for the evil pilgrims to murder people.

These pilgrims are somehow supernatural, but also mortal. A woman got stabbed in the fucking temple and was fine, but another one got axed and died. The rules of these pilgrims are all over the place and shitty.

The resolution is fucking terrible, and you'll see it coming a million miles away, it's so poorly telegraphed. Even worse, it doesn't make any fucking sense at all. It'd be like if a Werewolf almost traveled around with a gun loaded with silver bullets.

Bad performances for the most part too. The main pilgrim, a Sean Bean lookalike, was fine, but a bit over the top at times. The true standout was the first female pilgrim. She's fucking awesome and creepy, but also oddly attractive.

It sucks.