Return of the Living Dead

[Malcolm]

Synopsis:
After writing the greatest ever story about interspecies oral rape, Dan O'Bannon mixes Army of Darkness, Dark Star, and an undead script component obtained by hooking up with one of George Romero's old writing partners.

Review:
Every popular or wrong side of the tracks '80s stereotype teenager you can think of is partying in a cemetary, waiting for their other friend to get off work. His new job is coincidentally at a medical supply plant that got mistakenly shipped an aerosol chemical (trioxin, not named until the sequels) load back in the '50s. In spite of his full knowledge of this, the kid's coworker takes him down the storage basement where they keep it and a couple corpses. Gas escapes, they inhale it, and fall to the ground knocked out. After a bit, they come to and decide to call their boss. His solution is a cover up. That means taking out a newly animated dead dude. It's then that things get interesting.

There's no way to kill him. Decapitation, dismemberment, etc., nothing works. As a storm approaches, they make a deal with the local mortician and obtain use of his crematorium. Soon as the rain hits, the residue from the impromptu immolation floats into the air, falls to the ground as acid rain, and wakes every tombstone. I'll stop the plot summary there because this is actually an entertaining flick.

Long before 28 Days Later, not only did Danny O have zombies that could do a 100m dash, they could:

1) form coherent sentences
2) understand and carry on basic conversations
3) rapidly learn to use simple tools
4) use rudimentary guerrilla warfare and ambush tactics
5) work as a single horde unit

Additionally, one chick, scream queen Linnea Quigley, spends the majority of the movie with no costume except some punk/biker boots.

Verdict:
A horror-comedy that's better than 99% of the straight horror films put out today. '80s gem.