Trump 2016

[Vince]

Most of the crappy turns of government had Woodrow Wilson involved. He was a true piece of shit.

[Malcolm]

Normally the sort of thing I don't care about except that El Pricko Grande railed on Bezos.

The last time Donald Trump’s income-tax returns were made public, the bottom line was striking: He had paid the federal government $0 in income taxes.

The disclosure, in a 1981 report by New Jersey gambling regulators, revealed that the wealthy Manhattan investor had for at least two years in the late 1970s taken advantage of a tax-code provision popular with developers that allowed him to report negative income.

Today, as the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, Trump regularly denounces corporate executives for using loopholes and “false deductions to “get away with murder” when it comes to avoiding taxes.

“They make a fortune. They pay no tax,” Trump said last year on CBS. “It’s ridiculous, okay?”

[GORDON]

The late 70s? Wow.

[Alhazad]

On the one hand, that's more than enough time for someone to change his mind.

On the other hand, he's running for office and his brain is a honeycomb hideout of twisty business tricks that would make Escher vomit.

[Malcolm]

Yet he still bitched about the intricacies of the delegate process.

[Malcolm]

Patrick Stewart on Donnie Dingledouche.

[Leisher]

Not defending Trump, but "Asking an actor for their opinion on politics is like asking a 5 year old for their opinion on astrophysics."

[Malcolm]

You're suggesting there's no overlap between politics and fiction? That a dude who's spent his life trying to perfect "the method" and temporarily become someone else doesn't have insight into how one may confuse or disorient people with prepared bullshit speeches and one-liners?

[GORDON]

Actors aren't in a politician's league.

[Malcolm]

Donnie the loon isn't up to the standards of either.

[Malcolm]

Drumpf doublethink.

Donald Trump says he is “not a big believer in global warming.” He has called it “a total hoax,” “bullshit” and “pseudoscience.”
...
A permit application for the wall, filed by Trump International Golf Links Ireland and reviewed by POLITICO, explicitly cites global warming and its consequences — increased erosion due to rising sea levels and extreme weather this century — as a chief justification for building the structure.

[Vince]

It should be evident by now that Trump believes in whatever gets Trump what Trump wants.

[Malcolm]

I remember a Chris Rock routine, "You see, when I argue with a woman, I'm fucking handicapped, man. That's because I have a need to make sense and use logic."

[Leisher]

Saw an ad last night that was anti-Trump. Had several people wearing Trump's face on a shirt and they were reciting actual things he's said. "Does Trump really speak for you" was the tag line at the end.

Not saying they're wrong, but the very first thing that came to my mind when that tag line came across was Hillary Clinton at a hearing on Benghazi and talking about the deaths of four Americans, which people have said were preventable, and her saying, "What does it matter?"

So by that commercial's logic, when you're deciding between the lesser of two evils, it's misogynistic statements versus not caring or taking responsibility for American deaths that happened during your watch.

Weird message.

[Malcolm]

The Democrats seem intent on fucking up as much as possible. This is like high-stepping backwards into the end zone starting at the 50-yard line.

[Malcolm]

Officially opening his legs for dollars, of course it's at someone else's request.

Trump insists that his about-face from self-funded candidate to one who relies on donors is happening only at the request of the Republican National Committee.

“The RNC really wanted to do it, and I want to show good spirit,” Trump said in a phone interview with The Associated Press. “’Cause I was very happy to continue to go along the way I was.”

Bull and shit.

[Malcolm]

The vivid imagination of Don the Dicksucker.

In a March 30, 2011 interview with Bill O'Reilly of Fox News, for example, Trump claimed there was no evidence Obama had a valid U.S. birth certificate...

Trump has repeatedly embraced the discredited theory that childhood vaccinations can lead to autism. In the second GOP presidential primary debate, hosted by CNN in September 2015, Trump didn't back down on the claim even when confronted with evidence that vaccines are safe...

Campaigning in Alabama last November, Trump claimed that Muslims in New Jersey celebrated the attacks on the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001 ... Trump repeated the claim multiple times over the following days, repeating an Internet rumor that has circulated since the attacks despite comprehensive reporting from that time that debunked the claims...

Just days after the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia at a ranch in Texas this past February, Trump weighed in on claims that Scalia had been murdered. In an interview with radio host Michael Savage, Trump said, "They say they found a pillow on his face, which is a pretty unusual place to find a pillow," before saying he was unable to respond further...

Citing an as-yet unsubstantiated story in the National Enquirer, Trump claimed in an interview on Fox News that that his GOP rival Ted Cruz's father, Rafael Cruz, was spotted with JFK assassin Lee Harvey Oswald...

Trump's latest attack ad claims former President Bill Clinton sexually assaulted several women while president during the 1990s ... The Post also concludes that Trump's attacks against Clinton on these allegations are hypocritical given that Trump was quoted on the record at the time as being extremely dismissive of the various claims against Clinton...

Multiple investigations by various federal agencies and independent counsels throughout the rest of the 1990s concluded that Foster's death was a suicide and that was he was clinically depressed when he died.

But in an interview published by the Washington Post on Monday, Trump dismissed those investigations and claimed that the circumstances of Foster's death were "very fishy"...

Just wtf?

[Malcolm]

Taking a page directly from other wanna-be political hacks, Jesse and Al, Trump plays the race card.

Trump, who previously questioned whether Curiel’s Hispanic heritage made him biased due to Trump’s support for building a wall on the Mexican border, said Friday that Curiel “happens to be, we believe, Mexican.” Trump called the judge a “hater of Donald Trump” who had “railroaded” him in the case.

“I think Judge Curiel should be ashamed of himself. I think it’s a disgrace that he is doing this, “ Trump said.

Railroaded?

A federal judge has ordered the release of internal Trump University documents in an ongoing lawsuit against the company, including “playbooks” that advised sales personnel how to market high-priced courses on getting rich through real estate.

Totally because he's Mexican. Not because you fucked people out of their money with bullshit promises.

[Malcolm]

New Trump strategy: abuse the press.

[Malcolm]

Since Picard on Trump isn't good enough, here's Hawking on Trump.

ITV’s "Good Morning Britain" cheekily asked whether the physics genius could explain the American billionaire's rise to presidential candidacy.

"I can't," Hawking replied. "He’s a demagogue who seems to appeal to the lowest common denominator."

Scott Adams, the Dilbert dude, was on "Real Time" last week and explained precisely why.


On that same show, Bernie Sanders was the opening guest. He made it clear in no uncertain terms that he wasn't going third party if he loses the nomination and he'll toss support behind the Democratic candidate. Unless his base rebels against their god's orders, the jack-asses will be unifying their party line in a matter of months. The $64K question is how much will the Libertarians cut into the pachyderm vote.

Also...

And then there came the question about Harambe, because it is 2016, and this is what we do now: We ask the reality TV star who may become the leader of the free world how tough he would be on large zoo animals.

It was poetically fitting. For almost a year, Mr. Trump has been the 800-pound gorilla whose unpredictable rampages have obsessed the news media. Now he was completing the circle by commenting on the 400-pound gorilla who briefly stole the spotlight from him for one holiday weekend.

For the record, Mr. Trump said that he thought zoo officials had little choice but to shoot Harambe. But, he added: “There were moments with the gorilla, the way he held that child, it was almost like a mother with a baby. It looked so beautiful and calm. And then there were moments when it looked pretty dangerous.”