Dave Chappelle's Tour

[Malcolm]

He's coming to one venue in town, 3 nights in a row, 2 shows each night. This is the strictest set of rules I've ever seen or heard about for any sort of live show, which is saying something.

Please note: Tickets available only via etix.com (will-call only). This show is general admission. Limited seating available on a first come, first served basis.

This is a strict NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED show. Please leave your phones in your cars or at home. Anyone who brings a cell phone will be required to place it in a locked pouch. Everyone is subject to a pat down. Anyone caught with a cell phone inside the venue will be immediately ejected.

1) Will call only tix. Means huge congestion at the box office each show, every fucking time. But scalping is curtailed in the most severe way. I heard about this tonight. I promise you 100% my plan was to buy 2 tix per show (the max) and StubHub the fuck out of them. Shows:

Tuesday, May 31
Wednesday, June 1
Thursday, June 2

Tix are $65 each. Given those are weekdays, I've got some serious thinking to do. If I go ahead with my plan, I'm virtually a dead solid lock to make a profit. $(65 + tax) * 2 * 3 ~= $480-500. If I go to one show, that's 11 tickets to let go. Getting a C-note apiece is not unreasonable. I have some serious thinking to do between now and noon tomorrow, even if it involves being physically present and sitting at a bar across from the joint downtown three nights in a row and going light rail or cab. Long as I don't drink my upside away, it's cool.

2) I've never been to an event where they fucking confiscate my property if it has any recording capability whatsoever. I almost want to go buy one of those cheap-ass voice recording pens now.

[Malcolm]

My brain wasn't doing math correctly last night after coming back from the pub. Odd. Anyhow, the tix are on sale Friday, so I've got a bit more time to consider things.

[Leisher]

Dave's a bit paranoid.

Ever hear the conspiracy theory that he was forced to leave his show by "black people in power"?

[Malcolm]

Unless I can get my hands on the tix prior to the show, selling them is going to be a bitch.

[Malcolm]

Holy shit I haven't seen a website slammed this bad since Chinese Democracy got released.

[Malcolm]

5 of 6 shows sold out in 30-45 minutes. The last one is probably bogged down by techie issues, but I bet it's tapped.

[Malcolm]

All six shows sold out. Then Friday evening, Dave announces two more shows on a fourth day at another venue. Somehow I only found out about this shit tonight. Got my ticket in the last possible fucking row in the way-ass back.

[Malcolm]

Dave announces a few extra shows. I buy a ticket for the early one June 3rd, then realized I have a goddamned concert to go to that night. I pick up a ticket for the late show instead and Stub Hub the other. That site is beginning to piss me off. It's sold all the tickets I put on, but the seller's UI is the fucking laziest piece of shit possible. The "payment method" select menu frequently won't load no matter how many times you reload the page. That's what happened when I went to edit the listing and the mofo was set to "send me a check." Just holy fucking shit. It's twenty Jeebus H. Christ sixteen and some braindead retard web developers STILL haven't figured out basic HTML widgets.

Fortunately, they let you add payment options after a sale has been agreed on. Hopefully, the buyer didn't run out and post that shit right away and checks their email.