Stealth - Minor Spoilers - You won't care.

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
Post Reply
Leisher
Site Admin
Posts: 71825
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 9:17 pm
Contact:

Post by Leisher »

This is exhibit #2974 in the "What's wrong with Hollywood" case.

Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, and some white guy play as a trio of pilots that are an (yes "an", not "in") elite squadron. As an Air Force vet I was very confused by three pilots being called a squadron, but whatever.

Anyway, this very, very realistic squadron (because all squadrons are made up of three people: a black guy, a white guy, and a hot chick) is forced to take on a new member, an AI plane. Anyway, on their very first mission lightning hits the AI plane and hilarity ensues.

Things I learned from this film:
-The military is evil.
-Pilots are allowed to question their orders and decide to alter missions if they feel too many civilians will be hurt.
-Nuclear weapons will spread deadly radiation over hundreds of miles without detonating.
-Middle Eastern farmers live in packs of about 1500 in the mountains.
-It's more important to save an innocent and let a terrorist get away with a nuclear weapon than save millions by making sure that nuke doesn't go off in a major city.
-Planes can fly damn near forever and when they do refuel, it takes only seconds.
-Jet fuel is shockingly not flammable.
-Electronics can be doused with water and still function perfectly.
-Gravity and wind do not exist above 30000 feet.

I don't even want to get started on the setting for the second half of the movie as it's too stupid. To give you an idea on how bad the writing is, every porno plot you've ever seen is more likely than this film's.

1 out of 10. (1 point for Jessica Biel.)
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
User avatar
Cakedaddy
Posts: 9481
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 6:52 pm

Post by Cakedaddy »

Was it's name "Jonnie 5".

Also, jet fuel is surprisingly not flamable. Obviously, it burns. But, you'd be surprised as to how many matches thrown into a bucket of JP4 will go out when they hit the liquid instead of blowing the bucket up. The flash point for JP4 is much higher than that of say, gasoline.
Leisher
Site Admin
Posts: 71825
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 9:17 pm
Contact:

Post by Leisher »

I know the bucket of fuel and a match trick. I'm an AF vet, remember. You've got to see this movie though to see the stupidity.
“Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.” - Dr Thomas Sowell
User avatar
Cakedaddy
Posts: 9481
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 6:52 pm

Post by Cakedaddy »

I figured there was 'context', but, I just wanted to show off my JP4 knowledge.
User avatar
Troy
Posts: 7573
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 8:00 am

Post by Troy »

I might get this movie on netflix just because you wrote "porno flick" and "Jessica Biel" in the same post.


The mind wanders...
DoctorChaos
Posts: 1579
Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2004 7:58 pm

Post by DoctorChaos »

Leisher is right. The only attraction of this film is Jessica Biel. At the end I wanted the two hours of my life back.
Wadda mean? Other people can read this?!
Malcolm
Posts: 32040
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 1:04 pm
Location: Minneapolis

Post by Malcolm »

This movie makes Wing Commander look like Top Gun.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Post Reply