Revenant

[Malcolm]

Reports of bear-on-man rape are exaggerated.

[Paul]

I saw the movie.
It's okay. I didn't think it was that special.
Normally when I leave a movie theater I'm jolted by the difference between the movie world and the blaring reality of the parking lot, but when I went to my car it was covered in snow.

...and I got raped by a bear before I could get into the car.
It's my fault though. My outfit suggested that I was asking for it.

[Paul]

P.S. If any of you know the bear please give him my number.

[Vince]

I was rather confused when the trailers for this came out. I've read a book on Hugh Glass where they had gathered the most reliable accounts of the various aspects of his life. So I see this trailer with the bear attack and think, "This is Hugh Glass".

But then he's talking about his son (which he never had IRL) and I'm thinking... not Hugh Glass.

So was planning on waiting for free TV for this one.

I'd recommend reading his story if you get the chance. Very Interesting.

[Leisher]

It's okay. I didn't think it was that special.

Ditto.

Beautifully shot, but the story is very basic, predictable, and sloooooooooow.

But it's really pretty and the acting is good.

Oh, and apparently frostbite doesn't exist.

[GORDON]

Alternate title: Watch DiCaprio Get Tortured for Three Hours.

[GORDON]

Goddam, Leo's nemesis was Tom fucking Hardy? I don't recognize that guy in anything I see him in. Good actor, I guess.