Wing Commander

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Synopsis:

Years before 20th Century Fox fucked up Deadpool, they fucked up this Chris Roberts Origin (like back when it was really Origin) game franchise.

Review:

Watching this movie is more painful than being double penetrated by mountains while being forced to fellate a claymore and watch the all-male remake of Debbie Does Dallas starring Richard Simmons. I have to assume $29M of the $30M budget went straight to hookers and blow. The special effects were amateurish then; now they look like bad Asylum CG. The acting approaches Anakin level in Ep II. There are completely unnecessary plot devices and character deaths that make Hot Shots! look like Rambo. The Kilrathi remind you of the aliens Doctor Who was fighting in the '70s. Space combat is like ship-to-ship naval warfare in the 18th century, because for some reason, spaceships can only fire missiles fucking broadside against targets parallel to them. Point defense turrets to blast incoming torpedoes aren't worth welding to the superstructure, either.

You can't help but wonder if someone from EA personally helped out, got raked over the coals, then put right back in his old position as creative director of Madden NFL.

Verdict:

If MST3K ever comes back, this has to be on there.




Edited By Malcolm on 1440109662
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

I vaguely remember enjoying watching that movie with the Sci Fi club at college and enjoying the hell out of it. Only vaguely, though, because there was a bad-movie drinking game involved, and it resulted in a lot of drinking.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

"Drink every time your VGA memories of WC I or II trump what's on screen?"
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

I know I've seen this movie, but have no recollection of it.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Leisher wrote:I know I've seen this movie, but have no recollection of it.
Be grateful.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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