Apple Watch

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 1:33 pm

Since I don't see a thread anywhere else. Here's Tim Cook about why smart watches didn't mean shit until Apple graced them with its all-knowing gaze.

"We weren't first on the MP3 player; we weren't first on the tablet; we weren't first on the smartphone. But we were arguably the first modern smartphone, and we will be the first modern smartwatch - the first one that matters."

Read the rest of Tim jacking off both his own ego with one hand while simultaneously giving Steve Jobs's memory a handy with the other.

Cook also talked about Steve Job's legacy, both in regards to Apple, and to himself. "He's not given credit as a teacher," said Cook, "but he's the best teacher I ever had by far. There was nothing traditional about him as a teacher. But he was the best. He was the absolute best."

Post by **Leisher** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 2:40 pm

The technology world has shit all over the Apple Watch, but you know they'll still sell tons.

As for Jobs, if nobody else has called it, I will right now: Hologram Steve Jobs will be the keynote speaker at an Apple event in the future.

Post by **GORDON** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 2:49 pm

If there was a fire and I had time to only rescue one of the two people trapped in the burning building, I would let the Apple watch wearer burn even if the other person was like a nazi or something.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 1:31 pm

Hope you don't want your time coming from an app instead of Apple.

An updated set of App Store Review Guidelines warns developers, without explanation, that "Watch Apps whose primary function is telling time will be rejected."
...
Eliminating third-party custom watch faces, the new rule (10.7) forces users to personalize their device using one of Apple's nine existing faces and fiddling with the display options.

The spirit of Steve Jobs and his startling fear and cowardice in the face of real competition lives on.

Post by **Vince** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 2:20 pm

Saw two articles recently. One that the watch screens don't hold up well to a short ( 3.5 ft) drop, and that the heart rate monitor has trouble with tattooed wrists.

Post by **Leisher** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 3:20 pm

I will probably end up with one due to work. I'll let you know when I do. I'm going to go to great lengths to hide it.

Post by **GORDON** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 4:07 pm

I'm holding out for the Apple Prince Albert.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 5:10 pm

GORDON wrote:I'm holding out for the Apple Prince Albert.

The iToilet. Perhaps iCrap.

Post by **GORDON** » Wed Apr 29, 2015 7:12 pm

I might actually consider an iToilet, both because I am in the market for a smart toilet, and I love love LOVE the idea of shitting on an Apple product, daily.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:29 pm

Holy fucking markup, Batman.

That shiny new Apple Watch Sport may have set you back $350, but from a hardware and manufacturing standpoint it only cost Apple $83.70.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Tue May 05, 2015 1:23 pm

If you're a completely lazy parent that feels the need to spy on your children every second of the day, like some personalized version of the NSA, here's the app for you.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Thu May 14, 2015 2:53 pm

It's that signature Apple dedication to security that winning everyone over.

According to a video published by iDownloadBlog, the Apple Watch's security can be circumvented by performing a factory reset that erases all of the device's data. The newly wiped Apple Watch can then be set up as a new device and paired with another iPhone.

Edited By Malcolm on 1431629633

Post by **GORDON** » Thu May 14, 2015 5:01 pm

Well if they kill the market for stolen watches, people wont buy new ones as often.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Thu May 14, 2015 5:20 pm

I still can't get what's so fucking convenient about the smart watch, other than constant wearability, that beats a smart phone.

On a semi-related note, so ... that remote heartbeat app I see pushed in all the Apple watch adverts:

How many false ER calls will this result in? If you notice your loved one's cardiac rhythm just stopped, how paranoid do you get?