Resident Evil: Apocalpyse
This'll be a mini review.
A virus outbreak turns people into zombies. Yeah, its not the most original plot, but to their credit, they did it in video game form long before any of the recent zombie films came out.
Umbrella, the evil corporation, is behind the outbreak and uses it as an opportunity to test new biological weapons.
Not a great movie, not a terrible one either.
The action is over the top. The plot is standard. The dialogue is cheesy. The acting is weak. Still, its entertaining, particularly if you're a fan of the games and/or zombies.
If you don't like the games, the original, or zombies, this isn't for you. In fact, why the hell would you be reading this review?
5 out of 10.
A question for anyone who has seen both films: Has Chris Redman made an appearance yet? If not, I'd bet we're going to see at least one more Resident Evil film.
A virus outbreak turns people into zombies. Yeah, its not the most original plot, but to their credit, they did it in video game form long before any of the recent zombie films came out.
Umbrella, the evil corporation, is behind the outbreak and uses it as an opportunity to test new biological weapons.
Not a great movie, not a terrible one either.
The action is over the top. The plot is standard. The dialogue is cheesy. The acting is weak. Still, its entertaining, particularly if you're a fan of the games and/or zombies.
If you don't like the games, the original, or zombies, this isn't for you. In fact, why the hell would you be reading this review?
5 out of 10.
A question for anyone who has seen both films: Has Chris Redman made an appearance yet? If not, I'd bet we're going to see at least one more Resident Evil film.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
Resident Evil: Apocalypse

I borrowed my father-in-law's DVD and saw it last night. My expectations were pretty low, because the big monster thing on the cover (Nemesis) looked like it would drag the movie into the toilet.
I should also mention that I've never played Resident Evil, so I didn't have preconception about how the characters should be. My Resident Evil knowledge is based on the first movie.
I was pleasantly surprised. The movie was entirely watchable.
As long as you don't go into it expecting a decent plot, or reasonable cause & effect, then sit back and enjoy the fighting, gunplay and explosions. But most of all, enjoy my girlfriend Milla Jovovich running around, kicking ass. Damn, that woman wants me.
What I didn't like: Alice's introduction to the other characters was a bit cheesey.
Also, they're dealing with a virus that animates the dead, so they decide to walk through a graveyard...

I borrowed my father-in-law's DVD and saw it last night. My expectations were pretty low, because the big monster thing on the cover (Nemesis) looked like it would drag the movie into the toilet.
I should also mention that I've never played Resident Evil, so I didn't have preconception about how the characters should be. My Resident Evil knowledge is based on the first movie.
I was pleasantly surprised. The movie was entirely watchable.
As long as you don't go into it expecting a decent plot, or reasonable cause & effect, then sit back and enjoy the fighting, gunplay and explosions. But most of all, enjoy my girlfriend Milla Jovovich running around, kicking ass. Damn, that woman wants me.
What I didn't like: Alice's introduction to the other characters was a bit cheesey.
Also, they're dealing with a virus that animates the dead, so they decide to walk through a graveyard...
My review gave it a 5 out of 10.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
I guess I should say *minor spoilers.
I'm sorry, its Chris Redfield.
He's the "Skywalker" of the RE series. At least through the fans' eyes.
He was the main protagonist of the original series and became obsessed with destroying Umbrella. In RE2, it was learned that he had gone to Europe where Umbrella's HQ was located. He also made an appearance at the end of RE: Veronica to save his sister.
I'm sorry, its Chris Redfield.
He's the "Skywalker" of the RE series. At least through the fans' eyes.
He was the main protagonist of the original series and became obsessed with destroying Umbrella. In RE2, it was learned that he had gone to Europe where Umbrella's HQ was located. He also made an appearance at the end of RE: Veronica to save his sister.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
I just merged the threads.Leisher wrote:My review gave it a 5 out of 10.
Just watched it.
Mostly cool... but the graveyard scene. Ugh. I can expect freshly dead peeps getting reanimated.... but peeps that are embalmed and underground long enough for the grass to grow over them? And, how did the virus penetrate 6 feet of earth, a sealed vault, and a sealed coffin? Come on.
Delete that scene, and it's a decent flick.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Mostly cool... but the graveyard scene. Ugh. I can expect freshly dead peeps getting reanimated.... but peeps that are embalmed and underground long enough for the grass to grow over them? And, how did the virus penetrate 6 feet of earth, a sealed vault, and a sealed coffin? Come on.
That's why I always liked the original Night of the Living Dead. The only zombie walking around the cemetary in the beginning is a guy that had just died and wasn't in the ground yet.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
This movie isn't every worthy of a full review.
Every now & then, films come along that make you question whether or not there's a god. If there was, certainly he'd stop certain movies from being made. Some would include : "Titanic," "Bloody Murder," "Sweet Home Alabama, " etc.
But films like "Resident Evil : Apocalypse" make me believe there is a god & he fucking wants us to suffer.
First, the technical aspects :
The CG sucked. It looked better than a C64 circa 1987, but dear god, it sucked something fierce & got relied on far too heavily.
The makeup & costumes sucked. This isn't aiding the film when Nemesis, the big-bad fucker you're supposed to be afraid of, comes out w\ a slightly better wardrobe job than that ape-looking dude in "Conan the Destroyer."
The editing & camera work was crap on a stick. They must've bought 100 million different cameras, placed them at jagged, awkward angles & just cut to a different frame every fucking shot. The action & fight sequences leave you w\ a feeling of, "What the fuck just happened?" In particular, this is laughable when the five foot-something heroine needs to get into a fistfight w\ the seven foot tall Nemesis.
The writing & character development were damn near non-existent. New dudes are just introduced at a whim & killed in the same fashion. The auxiliary players are the definition of cannon-fodder. They break off from the main group of heroes at the first chance & end up dead a minute later.
The acting itself is worthy of a special ed. high school experimental play in rehearsal if that play was written by a hobo on the street corner drinking boxed wine while smoking crack & having a seizure. If you want to single out someone for bad acting, it'd've to be the chick that played Jill Valentine. Her performance made Natalie Portman's turn in Episode II look Oscar-worthy by comparison.
The director has no idea what the hell he's trying to accomplish, but that's ok cos no one else does, either.
You could be on the world's fastet, biggest, coolest roller coaster on Naked Supermodel Island while drinking Guinness & getting blown by Milla Jovovich while watching this movie & you'd STILL be having the worst time of your life.
Every now & then, films come along that make you question whether or not there's a god. If there was, certainly he'd stop certain movies from being made. Some would include : "Titanic," "Bloody Murder," "Sweet Home Alabama, " etc.
But films like "Resident Evil : Apocalypse" make me believe there is a god & he fucking wants us to suffer.
First, the technical aspects :
The CG sucked. It looked better than a C64 circa 1987, but dear god, it sucked something fierce & got relied on far too heavily.
The makeup & costumes sucked. This isn't aiding the film when Nemesis, the big-bad fucker you're supposed to be afraid of, comes out w\ a slightly better wardrobe job than that ape-looking dude in "Conan the Destroyer."
The editing & camera work was crap on a stick. They must've bought 100 million different cameras, placed them at jagged, awkward angles & just cut to a different frame every fucking shot. The action & fight sequences leave you w\ a feeling of, "What the fuck just happened?" In particular, this is laughable when the five foot-something heroine needs to get into a fistfight w\ the seven foot tall Nemesis.
The writing & character development were damn near non-existent. New dudes are just introduced at a whim & killed in the same fashion. The auxiliary players are the definition of cannon-fodder. They break off from the main group of heroes at the first chance & end up dead a minute later.
The acting itself is worthy of a special ed. high school experimental play in rehearsal if that play was written by a hobo on the street corner drinking boxed wine while smoking crack & having a seizure. If you want to single out someone for bad acting, it'd've to be the chick that played Jill Valentine. Her performance made Natalie Portman's turn in Episode II look Oscar-worthy by comparison.
The director has no idea what the hell he's trying to accomplish, but that's ok cos no one else does, either.
You could be on the world's fastet, biggest, coolest roller coaster on Naked Supermodel Island while drinking Guinness & getting blown by Milla Jovovich while watching this movie & you'd STILL be having the worst time of your life.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
You could be on the world's fastet, biggest, coolest roller coaster on Naked Supermodel Island while drinking Guinness & getting blown by Milla Jovovich while watching this movie & you'd STILL be having the worst time of your life.
I've stopped getting BJ's from Milla while on roller coasters because her head is jarred around around to much and her teeth chafe.
I had low expectations for the film, and it exceeded those expectations. I'd watch it again if it was on. I wouldn't pay to watch it though.
Edited By Paul on 1130348927