10 Stars - "I didn't kill anyone after I saw it."
9 Stars - "Fuck this shit."
8 Stars - "To hell with the writers' mother."
7 Stars - "I hated it more than the rash on my rectum."
6 Stars - "I want the director to get herpies and die."
5 Stars - "A pox on the houses of all involved."
4 Stars - "Fire and brimstone will rain upon their souls."
3 Stars - "May a crazed monkey fuck their ear until their head explodes."
2 Stars - "God, please let me date the director's daughter so I can take my anger out on her. Or the director's son if no daughter is available."
1 Star - "I wish the voices in my head would be quiet. I kill and I kill, but still the voices they call to me. They tell me to stop the bad people from making these films. Their entrails fill my apartment. I see no end in sight. More films coming. More deaths are inevitable. Maybe I do just need to get laid."
The Malcolm Ratings Scale
You've just moved up on the universal hitlist for when I conquer the planet.
You should ponder whether or not its wise to kill your enemies or make friends with them.
A ruler of conquered lands would find his most valuable ally in the leader of the resistance.
"Happy slaves are the worst enemies of freedom." - Marie Von Ebner
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell
"It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies..." - Orwell