Alone in the Dark - goddamnit, he's back

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 5:00 am

Official site

Semi-Official site

Christian Slater makes a vain attempt to cobble together a career again, it looks like. Based on the vid game series of the same name. Trailers & pics available. Looks like the director is some no-name German dude. Slated for release Jan. 28th. Oooh, a late January film. You can feel the anticipation already.

Him, Tara Reid, & Steve Dorff fill out the cast. Draw your own conclusions from that acting powerhouse there.

As an added note, looks like they got Nightwish to put a song on the soundtrak. Saw them in concert this August, damn fine epic metal group. Got wasted, hungover as all hell for softball the next day.

Post by **Leisher** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:06 am

From what I understand the only thing the film has in common with the game is the title.

You know Hollywood, they think all established properties suck and have to be improved upon.

Zetleft · Post by **Zetleft** » Tue Jan 18, 2005 6:19 pm

The 'unknown' director is Uwe Bowl, the biggest fucking hack in the universe. He's the one that made House of the Dead *shutter*. He is also going to make about 3 other video games into movies, Bloodrayne, Far Cry and one more I can't remember.

Just looking at the trailer makes me weep, how did such a great adventure game turn into this crap?

mbilderback · Post by **mbilderback** » Wed Jan 19, 2005 9:38 am

Bloodrayne has such potential for Resident Evil and Tomb Raider mediocrity.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 1:00 pm

Alone in the Dark

I never played the video game, but the commercials for this move make me cringe. It looks terrible. The monster is distractingly CGI.

My guess is that this movie would have gone straight to DVD if it wasn't starring Christian Slater and Tare Reid.

I give it a -5 on the Malcolm scale. If I ever watch it, that might improve though.

Post by **GORDON** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:01 pm

Merged like a muh.

Zetleft · Post by **Zetleft** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:52 am

I don't really want to bring more attention to this abortion but we get to laugh at Boll so I think it's worth it. On the somethingawful forums the first screenwriter told the posters about the first screenplay for Alone in the Dark and that he eventually walked off the project entirely, I didn't mention it here cause you can't read it without an account. Well it got frontpaged now so take a gander, it's an amusing look at someone trying to explain filmmaking to a hack.

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:06 pm

That was a beautiful bash of a Hollywood rape & pillager.

It saddens me that he'll be doing "Bloodrayne" and "Far Cry."

Post by **Leisher** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 3:01 pm

Hollywood has no respect for established properties. They think everything needs to be improved upon.

Although, I'm not sure how anyone can fuck up Far Cry's storyline: Mad scientist on island base creates monsters. Ex-bad ass lands on island after boating accident.

I'm excited to see how Boll does fuck that up.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:52 pm

Mad scientist on hidden island base creates monsters. People land on island after plane crash. Polar bears... wait... that's Lost.

Really though, it's not difficult to screw up a movie. Rely on a lot of bad CGI and terrible one-liners, and poof. You have a Hollywood crapfest.

Post by **GORDON** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:57 pm

The best movies can be saved from bad cgi, as long as a half-intelligent person is in charge of the thing. Bubba Ho-Tep had bad FX, but was a good movie. I liked Blair Witch, and it didn't even show a monster. Sling Blade was all story and character.

CGI and FX enhance a story, they don't make it. And a good story can't survive a bad director. So you see where my blame lies.

Paul · Post by **Paul** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:03 pm

Uwe Boll got H4X0R3D!

Zetleft · Post by **Zetleft** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:10 pm

Hahaah short and to the point, good job.

Post by **Leisher** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 2:11 pm

Uwe Boll got H4X0R3D!

That is a job well done.