Everyone is insane - At least the fuckers that wrote this

[Malcolm]

So I'm doing a project for a biz professor. He needs some databases merged. For the past four months, I've been trying to get access to the resources to crunch numbers for him. In the meantime, I've researched alternative methods so I can make sure I'm maximizing correctness. The problem is that the methods which seem to give the best results are written by the people w\ the worst grasp of how to write a paper explaining shit.

For instance, the paper I'm currently reading talks about "distance" and "similarity" functions that tell you something about two strings. The closer two strings are, the higher their similarity, but the smaller their distance becomes. Despite meaning the precise opposite shit, the paper uses these terms interchangably.

The psychosis doesn't end there. Part of the score for whatever function they're actually referring to is based upon frequency lists of words in their respective documents. Imagine I've got a word in a phrase from document A & I'm scoring it. It requires me to look up the frequency of the word in document B (amongst other shit). If the word isn't in document B, it causes a divide by zero error. Either they're idiots or they can't express themselves. There's numerous little pitfalls like this.

Christ help me cos this is one of the more well written papers I've come across. Can't academics just start putting ghostwriters in their budgets from now on so I can understand what the fuck they're saying?



Edited By Malcolm on 1152385908

[thibodeaux]

1. It's too much work to explain it to the ghostwriter
2. They'd screw it up anyway

[Vince]

Let's be real here as well... most of your tech types lack good communication skills.

And many are foreign.

[GORDON]

Let's be real here as well... most of your tech types lack good communication skills.

And many are foreign.

Not me.

I just have to foible of giving the straight scoop instead of sugar coating it. Bidness peeps don't always like that. They want the cocoa butter handjob with their bad news.

Manager: "Why are our systems so convoluted and hard to modify?"

Me: "Because you have people in charge of the systems that have lived in Achin' Asshole, Nebraska all their lives, have worked at this company for 15 years and have no other industry experience, and you are averse to receiving input from anyone who isn't a member of this cult of a company."

Manager: "I don't like your attitude."

[Vince]

I think I worked there.