At 'Dem Flicks w\ Malcolm - Land of the Dead

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:24 pm

Automatic +\- :

George A. Motherfuckin' Romero : +.5

Subtotal 1 : +.5 stars

Synopsis :

Zombies have taken over almost all of the Earth. Humans live in small, fortified cities. They raid outlying, abandoned settlements for supplies to survive. After one raid, a couple of the soldiers try to better their pathetic lives.

Review :

Considering the last zombie flick I watched was "Resident Evil : Apocalypse," watching a really tired person drink coffee looks like a better zombie film. I dunno why George wanted to make another film. Maybe he finally realized that "Day of the Dead" sucked or maybe he was just pised at all the substandard rip-offs of his work. Who cares, cos George is fuckin' back, baby.

We've got old-school zombies here going against (yet again) some of the most militarily inept & careless souls ever to clean a rifle. The plot centres around John Leguizamo trying to move into a sheltered high-rise apartment building & Simon Baker (the dude from "The Ring 2") trying to drive up north into the Canadian wilderness which is relatively zombie-free. Dennis Hopper plays complete bastard Kaufman in charge of the aforementioned high-rise building, as well as the biggest crimelord in a lawless town.

While there're a few plotholes, they're the same fucking plotholes in every zombie flick made since the beginning of time, so I attempted to look past this. Simon Baker doesn't do much of that "acting" thing, apparently & could've very well been replaced w\ a cardboard cut-out. Leguizamo seems miscast & he's not nearly threatening or bad-ass enough to physically pull off his character. Hopper turns in a decent performance (although he's fucking dead-pan in a few scenes).

This is head & motherfucking shoulders above most any horror flick put out in at least a few years & easily the best zombie flick since "Shaun of the Dead." As a sidenote, the writer-directors from "Shaun of the Dead" make cameos.

Subtotal 2 : 2.5 stars

Subtotal 1 + Subtotal 2 = 3 stars

Best dialogue :

Solider : "What the fuck does a Samoan know about hotwiring a car?"

Samoan : "In Samoa, fifty thousand cars stolen every year."

Solider : "Yeah, well, I'm from Detroit."

Samoan : "Detroit has fifty million cars. Samoa, only fifty thousand."

mbilderback · Post by **mbilderback** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:00 pm

God, how can you of all fucking people like this shit-for-brains eating movie?!?!?!?! Ugh, it was terrible...bad enough that 30 minutes into it, I had it paused to get drinks, food, and fix some friend o my father's computer...at his house! The plot holes were big enough to drive 'Dead Reckoning' through and the acting was almost exclusively trite and contrived.

.05 stars.

Post by **GORDON** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:44 pm

I never saw it because I heard Romero in an interview say that this movie was supposed to show how evil the conservatives were.

I'll check out a pirated copy, though. Who knows. I may like it and buy it.

Edited By GORDON on 1130373927

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:00 am

God, how can you of all fucking people like this shit-for-brains eating movie?!?!?!?! Ugh, it was terrible...bad enough that 30 minutes into it, I had it paused to get drinks, food, and fix some friend o my father's computer...at his house! The plot holes were big enough to drive 'Dead Reckoning' through and the acting was almost exclusively trite and contrived.

.05 stars.

I believe I acknowledged many a flaw...

We've got old-school zombies here going against (yet again) some of the most militarily inept & careless souls ever to clean a rifle.

While there're a few plotholes, they're the same fucking plotholes in every zombie flick made since the beginning of time, so I attempted to look past this.

Simon Baker doesn't do much of that "acting" thing, apparently, & could've very well been replaced w\ a cardboard cut-out. Leguizamo seems miscast & he's not nearly threatening or bad-ass enough to physically pull off his character. Hopper turns in a decent performance (although he's fucking dead-pan in a few scenes).

This didn't come close to the original "Dawn of the Dead," or "Night of the Living Dead," but it's beat the hell out of almost any horror flick in the past couple years. That may not be the most shining comment about recent movies, though.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:01 am

I never saw it because I heard Romero in an interview say that this movie was supposed to show how evil the conservatives were.

I'll check out a pirated copy, though. Who knows. I may like it and buy it.

You're especially not gonna like the end, right before they drive off to Canada.

Post by **GORDON** » Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:55 pm

I get tired of all the political commentary in movies.

We're approaching the time when the cast of the Harry Potter movies will start adding their $.02 to American foreign policy. Ugh.

Post by **GORDON** » Sat May 27, 2006 1:37 pm

I never saw it because I heard Romero in an interview say that this movie was supposed to show how evil the conservatives were.

I'll check out a pirated copy, though. Who knows. I may like it and buy it.
You're especially not gonna like the end, right before they drive off to Canada.

Yeah.

I enjoyed it A LITTLE..... it's still fun to try and imagine yourself living in that world, and there was a little artistic imagery...

But I have a hard time getting past the message that Romero himself said he put into the movie: It's not fair to build a better life for yourself and then not give it to all the people who wouldn't help themselves.

Bullshit.

Post by **TPRJones** » Sat May 27, 2006 3:35 pm

I hated this movie. 0 stars from me.

Post by **Leisher** » Sat May 27, 2006 4:22 pm

I could have sworn that I posted a review of this on the site prior this Malcolm's...

Anyway, I think this movie was complete ass. Romero is the most overrated director in horror.

It's preachy, horribly written, poorly acted and directed, boring, and just political (and ignorant political messages at that).

The only redeeming value is that it has zombies and everybody loves zombies.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Tue May 30, 2006 10:58 am

If anyone didn't like this, "Day of the Dead" was worse. If you watch that fucker, you may see why George couldn't leave the series ended on that one. "Land" > "Day." Not much of an excuse, though. After rewatching the film, I'd feel inclined to knock a star off the rating. Particularly after seeing "Silent Hill."

Post by **GORDON** » Tue May 30, 2006 11:51 am

"Day" was the peeps down in that vast underground... whatever, right? With... Bub the Zombie?

Post by **Leisher** » Tue May 30, 2006 4:29 pm

Day did indeed suck moneky balls.

I submit to you the theory that Dawn sucks if you take it out of the mall setting.

Romero is overrated.

Post by **TPRJones** » Tue May 30, 2006 4:48 pm

I liked the original Dawn, it was fun.

Day I'd give 3 out of 10 stars. It was a bit boring, sure, but at least it wasn't so monumentally stupid that it made my head explode with rage.

Land ... well, I'd cockpunch that movie if I could.

Edited By TPRJones on 1149022162

Post by **GORDON** » Tue May 30, 2006 5:21 pm

And really, how many times does Romero have to make a "people are stupid" movie?

We get it already.

Post by **Leisher** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:05 pm

Imagine if Romero had made Resident Evil as was the original plan.

I'm not saying RE was awesome, but it could've been a lot worse.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:53 am

Imagine if Romero had made Resident Evil as was the original plan.

I'm not saying RE was awesome, but it could've been a lot worse.

Actually, I'd've been intrigued to see what George would've done w\ RE.

Post by **Leisher** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:42 pm

Actually, I'd've been intrigued to see what George would've done w\ RE.

Well, just picture RE with worse acting, slower zombies, cheesier dialogue, dumber and more evil humans, and some grand political statement about how poor people who don't want to work should be given everything by those who do.