Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:11 am
VInce mentioned a kid never learning responsibility.
We've all heard of "helicopter parenting" in which a parent hovers over their children, and adult children, to the extent that they never make a move in their lives without their parent monitoring it, to the point where the parent, for example, writes a college prof a nasty email if the kid gets a bad grade on a test.
Recently I heard of "Snowplow Parenting." That's where the parent removes all obstacles in the kid's way before he or she gets to them. Making sure he gets the nice teacher in grade school, starting to save money for him when he is 12 so he can get a car at 16, calling your buddy in admissions at his preferred college, calling in a favor from your buddy so he can get that first job. Clearing the path.
One can argue that the best parent will make a kid so tough that no obstacle could stop him. I see that, I get it. But also isn't it in the nature of "Team *family name*" that you all look out for each other, and everyone helps everyone when they can?
I am doing my best to prepare my kid for the real world.... and in my opinion, his biggest obstacle is always going to be other people trying to take advantage of him. He is already very personable, but he is way too sincere. Mean people upset him, and the world is full of mean people. So I am trying to teach him that "there's always another jerk," and that the world is full of them, and ultimately they won't matter when he passes them and leaves them in the dust. But, at the same time, if I see an obstacle in his way, I am not going to let him slam face-first into it. I can't even think of a good example, I just woke up.
We've all heard of "helicopter parenting" in which a parent hovers over their children, and adult children, to the extent that they never make a move in their lives without their parent monitoring it, to the point where the parent, for example, writes a college prof a nasty email if the kid gets a bad grade on a test.
Recently I heard of "Snowplow Parenting." That's where the parent removes all obstacles in the kid's way before he or she gets to them. Making sure he gets the nice teacher in grade school, starting to save money for him when he is 12 so he can get a car at 16, calling your buddy in admissions at his preferred college, calling in a favor from your buddy so he can get that first job. Clearing the path.
One can argue that the best parent will make a kid so tough that no obstacle could stop him. I see that, I get it. But also isn't it in the nature of "Team *family name*" that you all look out for each other, and everyone helps everyone when they can?
I am doing my best to prepare my kid for the real world.... and in my opinion, his biggest obstacle is always going to be other people trying to take advantage of him. He is already very personable, but he is way too sincere. Mean people upset him, and the world is full of mean people. So I am trying to teach him that "there's always another jerk," and that the world is full of them, and ultimately they won't matter when he passes them and leaves them in the dust. But, at the same time, if I see an obstacle in his way, I am not going to let him slam face-first into it. I can't even think of a good example, I just woke up.