Primate (2025)
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2026 10:43 pm
This will be mildly filled with spoilers, but minor shit. This isn't a film that's heavy on dramatic twists. The trailer shows a monkey gone mad and hurting people and that's exactly what this is...
A girl goes home after college with her bestie, some dude, and annoying third wheel girl friend. Her late mom was a Jane Goodall type, dad is a deaf/mute author or something, and little sister is still home. Oh, and they have a pet chimp who got rabies from a mongoose.
How did the mongoose get rabies despite it not existing in Hawaii? Never explained.
-Why would they keep a chimp after mom, the expert, passes away, particularly when monkeys get more aggressive as they age? Never explained.
-Why does dad send the mongoose to a lab to get tested when rabies don't exist in Hawaii? Never explained.
-Why the fuck would he leave a chimp alone with his daughters? Dumb.
-Why didn't he tell the vet about the mongoose bite? Never explained.
-What's the deal with the annoying girl friend? Never explained.
-What's the deal with the boy? Never explained.
-What's the backstory of the best friend and her relationship with the monkey and family? Never explained.
-Why in the holy hell would dad be encouraging his daughter to romantically hook up with boy and let boy stay there when he's leaving for a few days? Kids are gonna kid, but parents taking an active role in trying to get their kids laid is fucked.
-Who built and designed that house? Are they aware this is Hawaii, has active volcanoes, and thus, lots of earthquakes?
The scenes before the chimp goes wild and after dad leaves are, as the kids say, cringe AF.
I have a lot of problems with the physicality involving the chimp because it's on and off based on the plot's needs. I get that, but it's a bit too obvious at times. Some people faced really fast endings, others not so much. It's a fucking chimp, not Michael Meyers.
Oh, and when all the actresses get wet I completely lose track of who's who. Especially with the bad lighting. I feel bad for Johnny Sequoyah, the main actress. She looks a lot like Brie Larson and this movie was her last credit. Also, her Wiki picture is some serious resting bitch face. Did a bit more research, and only annoying girl friend seems like she has a career post-Primate?
I remember everyone talking about how this movie had a CGI chimp, so I looked it up. It wasn't CGI. It was a little person in a suit. I thought this was done well, not great, but very well done. You could tell something was off, but it wasn't super clear exactly what.
Overall, it's fine. Kind of cliche being a horror movie with a crappy attention to detail, but I was entertained enough. Also, I'm definitely not big on movies with animals as the villains.
A girl goes home after college with her bestie, some dude, and annoying third wheel girl friend. Her late mom was a Jane Goodall type, dad is a deaf/mute author or something, and little sister is still home. Oh, and they have a pet chimp who got rabies from a mongoose.
How did the mongoose get rabies despite it not existing in Hawaii? Never explained.
-Why would they keep a chimp after mom, the expert, passes away, particularly when monkeys get more aggressive as they age? Never explained.
-Why does dad send the mongoose to a lab to get tested when rabies don't exist in Hawaii? Never explained.
-Why the fuck would he leave a chimp alone with his daughters? Dumb.
-Why didn't he tell the vet about the mongoose bite? Never explained.
-What's the deal with the annoying girl friend? Never explained.
-What's the deal with the boy? Never explained.
-What's the backstory of the best friend and her relationship with the monkey and family? Never explained.
-Why in the holy hell would dad be encouraging his daughter to romantically hook up with boy and let boy stay there when he's leaving for a few days? Kids are gonna kid, but parents taking an active role in trying to get their kids laid is fucked.
-Who built and designed that house? Are they aware this is Hawaii, has active volcanoes, and thus, lots of earthquakes?
The scenes before the chimp goes wild and after dad leaves are, as the kids say, cringe AF.
I have a lot of problems with the physicality involving the chimp because it's on and off based on the plot's needs. I get that, but it's a bit too obvious at times. Some people faced really fast endings, others not so much. It's a fucking chimp, not Michael Meyers.
Oh, and when all the actresses get wet I completely lose track of who's who. Especially with the bad lighting. I feel bad for Johnny Sequoyah, the main actress. She looks a lot like Brie Larson and this movie was her last credit. Also, her Wiki picture is some serious resting bitch face. Did a bit more research, and only annoying girl friend seems like she has a career post-Primate?
I remember everyone talking about how this movie had a CGI chimp, so I looked it up. It wasn't CGI. It was a little person in a suit. I thought this was done well, not great, but very well done. You could tell something was off, but it wasn't super clear exactly what.
Overall, it's fine. Kind of cliche being a horror movie with a crappy attention to detail, but I was entertained enough. Also, I'm definitely not big on movies with animals as the villains.