The Pact
Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2016 1:48 pm
Synopsis:
A movie directed by a retard and written by a retard is remarkably only semi-retarded for about 60 minutes, and then falls apart with a full-on retard ending.
Review:
This flick stars absolutely no one you've ever heard of with the single exception of Casper Van Dien who may or may not have been paid in liquor. Some chick's mom dies and she goes home to take care of the funeral, followed by a prolonged dive into the extremely fucked up history her family has accumulated. I'll just say that the actions of many characters in this film are so fucking stupid you genuinely wonder if the entire town wasn't a haven for people that never went to school because they couldn't find a short enough bus. This is doubly true after the third act commences and further watching feels like being the one dude in Milli Vanilli that kept on dancing when the music skipped.
Verdict:
Pedestrian.
A movie directed by a retard and written by a retard is remarkably only semi-retarded for about 60 minutes, and then falls apart with a full-on retard ending.
Review:
This flick stars absolutely no one you've ever heard of with the single exception of Casper Van Dien who may or may not have been paid in liquor. Some chick's mom dies and she goes home to take care of the funeral, followed by a prolonged dive into the extremely fucked up history her family has accumulated. I'll just say that the actions of many characters in this film are so fucking stupid you genuinely wonder if the entire town wasn't a haven for people that never went to school because they couldn't find a short enough bus. This is doubly true after the third act commences and further watching feels like being the one dude in Milli Vanilli that kept on dancing when the music skipped.
Verdict:
Pedestrian.