A Christmas Horror Story
Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 1:56 pm
Synopsis:
A handful of horror tales with xmas themes.
Review:
As opposed to most other anthologies which either (i) run one story at a time or (ii) run several plots that all intertwine, this one takes the most confusing path of all: cuts back and forth among four plotlines all going at once which have next to nothing to do with each other. A radio DJ played by William Shatner occasionally provides comic relief.
Story #1: A zombie sickness outbreak at the North Pole forces Santa to put some elves on his fatally naughty list. Not bad, but it gets quite a bit better at the end. I'd say this was the runner-up for the best of the four. Santa isn't Richard Riehle (Tom from Office Space) even thought it looks a lot like him. It's George Goddamned Buza, the voice of Smurf Ape himself:
Story #2: Dumb-ass high schoolers wander into an old-ass basement where a vengeful ghost lives. Weakest of all.
Story #3: Corrupt, abusive, cheap-ass pig illegally chops down a xmas tree on some weirdo's private land, and his son comes back quite a bit changed after the event. Certainly the bronze medal winner.
Story #4: A family of assholes encounters Krampus. Not the pussy Krampus from that third-rate Nick at Nite movie that came out a bit ago, the bad-ass Krampus who studied under Pinhead and isn't above garroting a 8-year old with a hooked chain in front of his family. I enjoyed this one the most, especially the ending.
Verdict:
You could do far, far worse for a xmas-themed flick.
A handful of horror tales with xmas themes.
Review:
As opposed to most other anthologies which either (i) run one story at a time or (ii) run several plots that all intertwine, this one takes the most confusing path of all: cuts back and forth among four plotlines all going at once which have next to nothing to do with each other. A radio DJ played by William Shatner occasionally provides comic relief.
Story #1: A zombie sickness outbreak at the North Pole forces Santa to put some elves on his fatally naughty list. Not bad, but it gets quite a bit better at the end. I'd say this was the runner-up for the best of the four. Santa isn't Richard Riehle (Tom from Office Space) even thought it looks a lot like him. It's George Goddamned Buza, the voice of Smurf Ape himself:
Story #2: Dumb-ass high schoolers wander into an old-ass basement where a vengeful ghost lives. Weakest of all.
Story #3: Corrupt, abusive, cheap-ass pig illegally chops down a xmas tree on some weirdo's private land, and his son comes back quite a bit changed after the event. Certainly the bronze medal winner.
Story #4: A family of assholes encounters Krampus. Not the pussy Krampus from that third-rate Nick at Nite movie that came out a bit ago, the bad-ass Krampus who studied under Pinhead and isn't above garroting a 8-year old with a hooked chain in front of his family. I enjoyed this one the most, especially the ending.
Verdict:
You could do far, far worse for a xmas-themed flick.