True Memoirs of an International Assassin
Posted: Mon Nov 14, 2016 11:23 am
Netflix kept telling me this was coming and then that it was out, so I watched it Friday night.
Kevin James is an author who writes a book with the help of a former spy analyst. After James does something he was supposed to do, and his publisher does the same, the world thinks James is a legendary assassin. Well, one guy in particular does, which lands James in Columbia where he has to kill the president (of Columbia).
Let's start by talking about how we're supposed to believe Kevin James could be confused for an assassin whose career ended in the 70s...
This movie is terrible on top of terrible. Absolutely zero laughs. The jokes are genuinely few and far between as the movie has a major identity crisis throughout. Am I a whacky comedy or am I a touching character piece with elements of action? It's neither.
Horrible pacing. Horrible acting. Horrible story. Horrible everything.
Remember all the terrible made for TV movies from the 80s where they'd find some B level star and surround them with no names in an action movie where nothing really happened? Netflix brought that formula back.
Rate it one star then don't watch it so Netflix knows not to make this shit anymore.
Kevin James is an author who writes a book with the help of a former spy analyst. After James does something he was supposed to do, and his publisher does the same, the world thinks James is a legendary assassin. Well, one guy in particular does, which lands James in Columbia where he has to kill the president (of Columbia).
Let's start by talking about how we're supposed to believe Kevin James could be confused for an assassin whose career ended in the 70s...
This movie is terrible on top of terrible. Absolutely zero laughs. The jokes are genuinely few and far between as the movie has a major identity crisis throughout. Am I a whacky comedy or am I a touching character piece with elements of action? It's neither.
Horrible pacing. Horrible acting. Horrible story. Horrible everything.
Remember all the terrible made for TV movies from the 80s where they'd find some B level star and surround them with no names in an action movie where nothing really happened? Netflix brought that formula back.
Rate it one star then don't watch it so Netflix knows not to make this shit anymore.