Fast and Furious 6 - At 'Dem Flicks with Malcolm

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:48 pm

Synopsis:

Universal Studios banks on the fact that people like staring at car crashes and their aftermath. Every highway I've ever driven on says that's a safe bet.

Review:

There are several car chases/races and a few fights. The "plot" serves as a means to move the action scenes to new settings. It's PG-13, so there's nothing especially impressive, but goddamn some of the high-end vehicles they show off are things to behold.

The budget for the cast must've been a good bag of change. Rock, Vin, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, and Gina Carano.

Anyhow, if you remember the A-Team, you'll note a couple episodes where they faced flip versions of themselves, the Evil A-Team. Additionally, the last season of that show had them working for the same gov't they were trying to evade for the entirety of the history of the franchise. FF6 takes both of these concepts and applies them directly with little to no imagination.

Bonus point for a mid-credits scene where someone shows up, ices one of Vin's crew, and leaves a threatening voicemail. I'm betting he's the brother of the leader of the FF6 Evil A-Team. I hope he's either Turkish or Frank Martin.

Verdict:
It's worth putting on in the background if you want something with explosions that won't put stress on your brain. Also funny for the scenes with Vin and Michelle that are supposed to have sexual tension.

Edited By Malcolm on 1404524947

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 9:54 pm

I stopped at the first one because I wasn't a masochist.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 12:46 pm

GORDON wrote:I stopped at the first one because I wasn't a masochist.

It's a car wreck transforming into a train wreck metamorphosing all the way into a full-blown mushroom cloud of nuclear automotive wtf-ness and physics that can only be described as skull-fuckingly incorrect. If there wasn't a car chase or fight, I probably wasn't paying attention. As I said, it's a background movie.

Post by **GORDON** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 12:57 pm

I think it was The Transporter that turned me off of "so dumb it is awesome!" stuff with no other redeeming qualities. The time he had a bomb strapped to the bottom of his car, he hasn't seen it and didn't even actually know where it was, so he jumps his car, does a barrel roll, and knocks the bomb off the bottom of the car, upside down, in flight, with the dangling hook of a crane.

I like awesome shit as much as the next guy, but I want at least .000001% plausibility so I can suspend my disbelief.

I also found nothing redeeming about the 1st F&F movie. I also dislike the culture it is supposed to be celebrating because they irritate me.

Edited By GORDON on 1404579497

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:07 pm

I like awesome shit as much as the next guy, but I want at least .000001% plausibility so I can suspend my disbelief.

From the dude who's probably got a full-size Harry Potter poster taped to the ceiling above his bed.

I also dislike the culture it is supposed to be celebrating because they irritate me.

G dislikes fast cars. Noted.

Edited By Malcolm on 1404580056

Post by **GORDON** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:13 pm

Usually you are subtle when trolling, but sometimes it is obvious.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:36 pm

Movies are there specifically so we can suspend belief for 90 minutes at a time. I'm willing to let physics, acting, interesting story, etc. slide so long as something's there to show. I'm far less willing to forgive character and plot inconsistencies. Frank Martin can remove as many bombs from his car as he likes using his patented hanging hook technique. If he routinely breaks his own rules (checking the package, asking names), then my brain starts to rebel. Or do you boycott Jaws because great whites can't swim backwards?

Edited By Malcolm on 1404581885

Post by **TheCatt** » Sun Feb 28, 2016 1:10 pm

This is next on my list. I've watched the first 5 now.

They are surprisingly good for workout TV. Just enough action, not too much plot or thinking.

Post by **TheCatt** » Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:19 pm

Turns out I had only watched the first four.

Watched the 5th today. I found Bernie Sander's campaign speech writer

Post by **TheCatt** » Sun Mar 13, 2016 1:20 pm

Five hundred years ago, the Portuguese and the Spanish came here, each trying to get the country from their natives.

The Spaniards arrived, guns blazing, determined to prove who was boss. The natives killed every single Spaniard. Personally, I prefer the methods of the Portuguese.

They came bearing gifts. Mirrors, scissors, trinkets. Things that the natives couldn't get on their own, but to continue receiving them, they had to work for the Portuguese. And that's why all Brazilians speak Portuguese today.

Now, if you dominate the people with violence, they will eventually fight back because they have nothing to lose. And that's the key.

I go into the favelas and give them something to lose. Electricity, running water, school rooms for their kids. And for that taste of a better life, I own them.