Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 9:07 am
In 1987 Twentieth Century Fox made sweet sweet love to my eyeballs with a film called Predator. The movie was so good that they were able to get away with using Apollo Creed and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. I watch that film just about every time I see it on TV, much to the chagrin of my wife... so I enjoy it on many levels.
In November 1989 Dark Horse comics released a series called Aliens Vs. Predator. It's a good thing I was a comic geek, because the poly bags kept my comics from getting drooled on (or sticky).
The comicbook was about a colony of humans who raised cow-like creatures. The planet they chose was (unfortunatly for them) a traditional hunting ground for Predators. They drop off face-suckers (who went after cattle at first), then come back a short time later to kill the aliens that emerge. The Predators didn't plan on humans being there. The human protagonist was a woman, and I think she was the only one that lived.
In 1990, the movie studio dropped a steamer titled Predator II: The Quickening. (Note: I tag every bad sequal "The Quickening" in homage to the ultimate in bad sequals). I guess they figured that a movie with Apollo Creed and Jesse Ventura could work, a movie with the rusty old copy from Lethan Weapon and that psychotard Gary Busey (also in Lethan Weapon apparantly) could work.
That movie was a ride on the polarbear express!
The one promising thing about Predator II was that there was an alien skull (from the Alien movie series) in the Predator's trophy case. It was teh aw3som3!!!!11
Movie factoid: There was also a t-rex skull in the trophy case, but there was no polar bear skull. That's because the polar bear was alive and bf'ing you during the movie. Every time Glover grunted about being too old for this shit the bear pounded away a little harder.
Geeks were abuzz with rumors of an Aliens Vs. Predator movie. In fact, scripts were floating around Hollywood. But every time someone bit a script, the companies would bicker about things like distribution rights and the movie would fall apart.
Predator and Aliens have fought other comic book heros, though they always lost to the men in spandex. I remember using a picture of a Predator kicking Batman's ass for a screenprinting project I did on glass. It turned out awesome, but unfortunatley was one of two items we lost to the Northridge earthquake (the other was a bottle of soy sauce).
Aliens Vs Predator has finally broken past the planning stages. It has been produced, and will hit theatres in August, 2004. I'm excited, but pessimistic. One company has millions invested in their Aliens mythos, another company has millions invested in their Predator mythos. I see both companies having representatives on the set to try to force their cause/vision, and too many chefs spoiling the soup.
The plot as I see it, based solely on the movie trailor. (not quite a spoiler, but quit now if you want to know less than Schultz)
The trailor had people going to the arctic because a pyramid was found via satellite, thousands of feet below the surface of the ice. Despite the place looking like a set for the video game Quake, they go in. They get trapped in the pyramid, some face huggers appear and convert people into meat pinatas. Then the Predators show up, and do what they do best. Whoever wins, we lose.
This seems like an loose adaptation of the first comicbook.
It seems that the human lead is female, that the Predators are only there to hunt Aliens (not humans), and that the Predators are the ones who planted the face huggers.
This definately seems like a film I have to see in the theatre and I'll probably end up buying a copy of the movie on DVD, even if it's as bad as Predator II (which I do not own).
In November 1989 Dark Horse comics released a series called Aliens Vs. Predator. It's a good thing I was a comic geek, because the poly bags kept my comics from getting drooled on (or sticky).
The comicbook was about a colony of humans who raised cow-like creatures. The planet they chose was (unfortunatly for them) a traditional hunting ground for Predators. They drop off face-suckers (who went after cattle at first), then come back a short time later to kill the aliens that emerge. The Predators didn't plan on humans being there. The human protagonist was a woman, and I think she was the only one that lived.
In 1990, the movie studio dropped a steamer titled Predator II: The Quickening. (Note: I tag every bad sequal "The Quickening" in homage to the ultimate in bad sequals). I guess they figured that a movie with Apollo Creed and Jesse Ventura could work, a movie with the rusty old copy from Lethan Weapon and that psychotard Gary Busey (also in Lethan Weapon apparantly) could work.
That movie was a ride on the polarbear express!
The one promising thing about Predator II was that there was an alien skull (from the Alien movie series) in the Predator's trophy case. It was teh aw3som3!!!!11
Movie factoid: There was also a t-rex skull in the trophy case, but there was no polar bear skull. That's because the polar bear was alive and bf'ing you during the movie. Every time Glover grunted about being too old for this shit the bear pounded away a little harder.
Geeks were abuzz with rumors of an Aliens Vs. Predator movie. In fact, scripts were floating around Hollywood. But every time someone bit a script, the companies would bicker about things like distribution rights and the movie would fall apart.
Predator and Aliens have fought other comic book heros, though they always lost to the men in spandex. I remember using a picture of a Predator kicking Batman's ass for a screenprinting project I did on glass. It turned out awesome, but unfortunatley was one of two items we lost to the Northridge earthquake (the other was a bottle of soy sauce).
Aliens Vs Predator has finally broken past the planning stages. It has been produced, and will hit theatres in August, 2004. I'm excited, but pessimistic. One company has millions invested in their Aliens mythos, another company has millions invested in their Predator mythos. I see both companies having representatives on the set to try to force their cause/vision, and too many chefs spoiling the soup.
The plot as I see it, based solely on the movie trailor. (not quite a spoiler, but quit now if you want to know less than Schultz)
The trailor had people going to the arctic because a pyramid was found via satellite, thousands of feet below the surface of the ice. Despite the place looking like a set for the video game Quake, they go in. They get trapped in the pyramid, some face huggers appear and convert people into meat pinatas. Then the Predators show up, and do what they do best. Whoever wins, we lose.
This seems like an loose adaptation of the first comicbook.
It seems that the human lead is female, that the Predators are only there to hunt Aliens (not humans), and that the Predators are the ones who planted the face huggers.
This definately seems like a film I have to see in the theatre and I'll probably end up buying a copy of the movie on DVD, even if it's as bad as Predator II (which I do not own).
