Would anyone else like a bite of banality?
$25 million budget. I can't wait to see the $10K gross.
Uwe's got a new film
He's actually got people I've heard of this time.I hate his mother for pushing him out.
Kristianna Loken (from T3)
Ben Kingsley
Michael Madsen
Ye lords, Michael fucking Madsen. What kinda shock would it be to go from working w\ Tarentino to working w\ Uwe?
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
& the verdict is...
This is from imdb.com where there's separate message boards for each flick. There's people on those boards that defend some of the latter installments of Hellraiser.
Opens today, boys & girls, go see it.
This is singularly one of the worst films I've ever seen. After seeing a wide selection of decent horror at Fantastic Fest a few weeks ago, I expected this to have some substance because it was picked to screen at the Austin Film Festival. All I can think of is that someone must have blackmailed the programmers because it's terrible.
The dailogue is either very cliché, or very stilted (and often both). There are serious continuity issues. The gratuitous sex scene was so completely sudden it seemed like an excerpt from a porn movie. The wigs are terrible, and the costuming as bad. There is no character development, and the motivations shown on screen seem more like red herrings than anything else.
I can't think of anything redeeming about this film other than I didn't pay money just to see it.
This is from imdb.com where there's separate message boards for each flick. There's people on those boards that defend some of the latter installments of Hellraiser.
Opens today, boys & girls, go see it.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Here's a heartfelt review:
It's rather long, and goes into some detial. Linky: http://www.livejournal.com/users/howardtayler/145626.html?#cutid1
My favorite quote from it: "This movie appears to have been made by a group of people who are individually among the worst their fields have to offer, and who went on to inspire each other to new lows."
Okay, let's start with my instructions to you: no matter how enticing I may make this film sound, do NOT spend money on it. Don't see it in the theater, and don't rent it. Buying the DVD would be a crime against humanity. For that matter, don't bother seeing it for FREE, either. Spending your TIME on this film is a crime against your employer, your family, and the Baby New Year. You would be better off using an hour and thirty-four minutes eating junk food and watching Weather Channel repeats you've accidentally TIVO'd.
I'm serious. If I find out that you went and saw this film after I told you not to, I'll phone your friends up and tell them to go to your house and pour ants in your bed. And when you wake up screaming, covered in ants, you'll think "at least I'm not still watching BloodRayne."
It's rather long, and goes into some detial. Linky: http://www.livejournal.com/users/howardtayler/145626.html?#cutid1
My favorite quote from it: "This movie appears to have been made by a group of people who are individually among the worst their fields have to offer, and who went on to inspire each other to new lows."
"ATTENTION: Customers browsing porn must hold magazines with both hands at all times!"
When people stop buying vid games & kill the potential viewing audience. When Doom came out, I said, "All they need is to get the cyberdemon in there. How do you fuck up half-robot, half-demon w\ a fucking rocket launcher for half an arm?" What do they do? Turn it into a half-assed zombie flick. If they didn't let asshats like Uwe & his ilk take on projects like this, maybe the pictures wouldn't suck.When will they just give up on making movies out of video games?
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
No! A good movie can't be made from a video game.When people stop buying vid games & kill the potential viewing audience. When Doom came out, I said, "All they need is to get the cyberdemon in there. How do you fuck up half-robot, half-demon w\ a fucking rocket launcher for half an arm?" What do they do? Turn it into a half-assed zombie flick. If they didn't let asshats like Uwe & his ilk take on projects like this, maybe the pictures wouldn't suck.When will they just give up on making movies out of video games?
Quit trying to fix it. Kill it. Doom was going to suck.
Idjits like you get sucked in to thinking how you would have made the movie less sucky giving yourself the self delusion that they can make one that's not sucky.
So you keep waiting to see a game to movie that doesn't suck.
They will all suck. It's physics. It's like bitching about night being dark.
"... and then I was forced to walk the Trail of Tears." - Elizabeth Warren
Eh, I have to disagree. Based on a video game it almost has to be formulaic, but there's no reason they can't keep it loyal to the original work. Doom/games had NOTHING to do with "mysterious" human DNA strands. That's stupid. Accidentally opening a gate to hell? That's cool.
People wanted Doom, and the got Resident Evil on Mars.
People wanted Doom, and the got Resident Evil on Mars.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Agreed. A good movie will be made that is based on a video game when they stay true to the story from the game.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Wrong.Agreed. A good movie will be made that is based on a video game when they stay true to the story from the game.
They will suck.
Here's a list of movies based on video games from Wikipedia:
Alone in the Dark
Doom
Double Dragon
Dungeon Siege
Driver
Far Cry
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within Note: Was not based on any particular game in the Final Fantasy series, and contains little to none of the elements associated with the series.
House of the Dead
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
BloodRayne
Metroid
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Mortal Kombat: Devastation
Rainbow Six
Perfect Dark
Pokemon films
Pokémon: The First Movie
Pokémon: The Movie 2000
Pokémon 3: The Movie
Pokemon 4Ever
Pokemon Heroes
Resident Evil
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Sakura Taisen: Katsudou Shashin
Street Fighter
Silent Hill
Splinter Cell
Spy Hunter
Super Mario Bros.
Tekken
Wing Commander
I'm counting 33. Out of 33 movies, at least one should have accidentally been good. But they all suck (okay... a couple of those might have risen to the rank of mediocre).
Stop trying to fix them. Stop think of ways that they might suck less.
You're only encouraging them.
If they stay true to the story of the game (strictly speaking) then why see the movie?
"... and then I was forced to walk the Trail of Tears." - Elizabeth Warren
Many of the movies in that list haven't even been made. How can you say they suck?
I'm not arguing, I'm sure they will, but still...
I'm not arguing, I'm sure they will, but still...
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
As sure as the sun will rise in the morning, they will suck.
The odds of them maiking one that doesn't suck is even odds with making a macho musical.
Stop talking about how they could make them not suck. Instead talk about making a manly man macho musical.
The odds of them maiking one that doesn't suck is even odds with making a macho musical.
Stop talking about how they could make them not suck. Instead talk about making a manly man macho musical.
"... and then I was forced to walk the Trail of Tears." - Elizabeth Warren
Instead talk about making a manly man macho musical.
I'm pretty sure this has been done.
How many rock bands have told stories with the songs in their concerts? Wasn't Tommy a rock opera?
Besides that, why wouldn't things like The Producers and Spam-A-Lot be considered "manly man macho musicals?" Mel Brooks and Monty Python aren't exactly good source material to bring in the female audience.
What consitutes "manly man macho" to you?
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Hold on there mal, Silent Hill trailer looks pretty damn cool. Plus it's got the chick from Pitch Black.
Silent Hill Trailer
Oh and since this is as good a place an any to put the only reason someone would watch Bloodrayne Very NSFW Link
Edited By Zetleft on 1137795810
Silent Hill Trailer
Oh and since this is as good a place an any to put the only reason someone would watch Bloodrayne Very NSFW Link
Edited By Zetleft on 1137795810
I've had to think about this one.What consitutes "manly man macho" to you?
You know that feeling after watching a guy movie where you walk out in the parking lot and know... just KNOW that if someone fucked with you, that you could kick their ass?
That's a manly macho movie. A movie that makes you feel invincible (and stupid).
"... and then I was forced to walk the Trail of Tears." - Elizabeth Warren