UnkBill jokes.
UnkBill jokes.
Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat
Then I remember they feed off of attention.
Then I remember they feed off of attention.
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
If the Stork brings good babies, and the Crow brings bad babies, what brings no babies?
The Swallow.
The Swallow.
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
A math professor leaves a note for his wife that reads as follows:
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that I have rented a hotel room with one of my 18 year old students. I will be home before midnight.
When he gets home around 11:45, he finds a note waiting for him that reads as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be in a hotel room with our 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.
Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that I have rented a hotel room with one of my 18 year old students. I will be home before midnight.
When he gets home around 11:45, he finds a note waiting for him that reads as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be in a hotel room with our 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
Unless he’s a vegetarian.
Then you can get there through his vagina.
Unless he’s a vegetarian.
Then you can get there through his vagina.
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
Agreed.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
UnkBill jokes.
Damn girl are you a parked car?
Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that
Because I would have to be drunk as fuck to hit that
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
A man got stopped by a Game Warden with his basket full of fish.
Warden: do you have a permit for all these fish?
Man: no sir. These are all my pet fish.
Warden: your pet fish? How's that?
Man: well, every night I take all my pet fish for a walk to the lake, I let them swim for about half hour and then I whistle and they all come back and jump in my basket and we go home. We do this every night.
Warden: Well that's just a crock of lies!!
Man: here I'll show you... (Releases the fish in the lake)
Warden: well this I got to see!!
5 minutes later...
Warden: well??
Man: what?
Warden: the fish!! Where's your pet fish??
Man: what fish??
Warden: do you have a permit for all these fish?
Man: no sir. These are all my pet fish.
Warden: your pet fish? How's that?
Man: well, every night I take all my pet fish for a walk to the lake, I let them swim for about half hour and then I whistle and they all come back and jump in my basket and we go home. We do this every night.
Warden: Well that's just a crock of lies!!
Man: here I'll show you... (Releases the fish in the lake)
Warden: well this I got to see!!
5 minutes later...
Warden: well??
Man: what?
Warden: the fish!! Where's your pet fish??
Man: what fish??
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
UnkBill jokes.
I hate immigrants...
If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
I have been telling everyone I know about the benefits of eating dried grapes.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
It’s all about raisin awareness.
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
I proposed to my ex-wife today
She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money
She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
Hey Girl, are you a school?
Because I'd love to shoot kids inside you
That one makes me miss Paul + his "put a baby in it"
Because I'd love to shoot kids inside you
That one makes me miss Paul + his "put a baby in it"
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.
While waiting they realize that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".
While waiting they realize that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
I like my women like I like my COVID...
19, breath-taking, and easily spreads
19, breath-taking, and easily spreads
It's not me, it's someone else.
UnkBill jokes.
If having sex for money makes you a whore, having sex for free makes you a...
Non profit whoreganization.
Non profit whoreganization.
It's not me, it's someone else.