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I had not read the obit before, but had seen in passing the headline. Kind of sad for the family. They don't really demean the dead guy doing this. Only themselves.

They aren't sad. They are relieved. I don't know why they felt the need to make it public, but clearly they feel their lives are now better than they were before.

I don't think the family demeans themselves at all. They get closure, and the call out a monster they didn't feel they could deal with in life. It should serve a warning to others about treating your family like shit.

Not that this is a sensitive subject for me or anything.

TPRJones wrote: They aren't sad. They are relieved. I don't know why they felt the need to make it public, but clearly they feel their lives are now better than they were before.

The making it public part is what I meant as being sad. I'm very sure they are relieved. And I can completely understand them saying these things to each other, other family and friends. It's the public display to strangers via the obit that's very Jerry Springer. They are allowing him to demean them one more time as he walks out.

Is there a requirement for obits to happen in some places? I mean if they found out the paper was going to run an obit with or without them and they felt that strongly I can see them getting involved to make sure it was honest instead of making him out to be a decent human being.

If they just took it upon themselves to do so then it's more weird. But I don't think it demeans them.

When my mother died the only emotion I felt was relief, and I've not felt in any way sad. I can fully understand the sentiment. And I don't think telling you that demeans me in any way.

It's the public display to strangers via the obit that's very Jerry Springer.

Even if someone reading it then decides not to wait until their asshole relative has died before sorting things out and telling them off?

I think a simple obit of "John Doe dies Friday from cancer. He is survived by his sone John Jr and daughter Jane Doe. His family asks in lieu of flowers donations be made to ABC mental health facility or XYZ substance abuse center."

People can fill in the blanks, and 10 or 20 years from now there will be no regrets.