My mother-in-law - The art of learning to not give a fuck.

For stuff that is general.
TheCatt
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Post by TheCatt »

Dude, if it were me, she would have "accidentally" fallen down some steps. You're a saint.
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GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

TheCatt wrote:Dude, if it were me, she would have "accidentally" fallen down some steps. You're a saint.
It is both a source of pride and sadness when her doctor tells me how much healthier she looks since she has been in my care.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Your guilt trip will amount to nothing. Bet me.
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Post by GORDON »

Malcolm wrote:Your guilt trip will amount to nothing. Bet me.
I have no doubt in my mind that you are right, but throwing it at them makes ME feel good.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

GORDON wrote:
Malcolm wrote:Your guilt trip will amount to nothing. Bet me.
I have no doubt in my mind that you are right, but throwing it at them makes ME feel good.
Insults in person work the same way.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

Me: I am making chili tonight. Do you like chili?
Mother In Law: Yes.
Me: Chili with beans?
MIL: Yes.
Me: Ok, I will take it easy on the spices so I don't melt your face off.

*time passes*

MIL: What... what are these beans in this chili?
Me: Kidney beans, chili beans, and black beans. I like a variety of beans in my chili.
MIL: Well I can only eat chili beans. I'll just make soup.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

Me: We're making spaghetti tonight. You eat spaghetti, right?
Mother in Law: Yes.

*time passes*

MIL: What... what is this sauce?
Me: Prego chunky garden. I didn't have time to make anything fresh.
MIL: Well I can only eat homemade spaghetti sauce. I'll just eat a bowl of cereal.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

Prego allergy, huh? Shame.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

GORDON wrote:Me: We're making spaghetti tonight. You eat spaghetti, right?
Mother in Law: Yes.

*time passes*

MIL: What... what is this sauce?
Me: Prego chunky garden. I didn't have time to make anything fresh.
MIL: Well I can only eat homemade spaghetti sauce. I'll just eat a bowl of cereal.
Next time, put it into a mason jar before she knows and lie. Perfect example of how it's a vital skill.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Alhazad
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Post by Alhazad »

Malcolm wrote:Next time, put it into a mason jar before she knows and lie. Perfect example of how it's a vital skill.
This is pretty smart.
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

Yeah, Malcolm's idea is pretty solid.

Do it and then you can write about it.

With the chili thing you could have said they were different types of chili bean.
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Post by GORDON »

I'm not sure if I can do that. I will also not be putting food on a fork and telling her, "Here comes the airplane, open the hanger!" I want her to be healthy, but also I am inclined to tell her to go fuck herself if she gives me too much hassle. Her dementia and regression to toddlerhood is never going to get any better, in fact it will only get worse.

If she crosses the lines I have defined.... amputation or inability to wipe her own ass, she will just have to go to a shitty state nursing home, and I wash my hands of her guilt free and say, "I tried."
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

Might be good to kick her out for a month or so now while she's still moderately healthy. After living under a bridge for a few weeks she'll be more likely to be less petty after you take her back in.
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GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

TPRJones wrote:Might be good to kick her out for a month or so now while she's still moderately healthy. After living under a bridge for a few weeks she'll be more likely to be less petty after you take her back in.
I would LOVE to give her a reality check like that.

Not sure how to realistically go about it.

More and more I am trying to figure out how to put her on a bus for a 10-day bus trip somewhere, and ensure she takes her daily meds and follows her diet.... which she would not do. I have a feeling I would get a call from a hotel in Buffalo, NY or something, "Your MIL is here ranting and raving, come get her."

I could use a little break.
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TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

I haven't looked, but I bet there's some sort of old person cruise you could send her on that's specifically designed to give family caregivers a little break. Like a temporary floating old folks home.

If not, that's a hell of a market niche that needs filling.
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Post by GORDON »

TPRJones wrote:I haven't looked, but I bet there's some sort of old person cruise you could send her on that's specifically designed to give family caregivers a little break. Like a temporary floating old folks home.

If not, that's a hell of a market niche that needs filling.
I said this exact thing to her doctor last time, inquiring if there were any programs or services like that, and used almost those exact words, I said, "There has got to be a massive market for that sort of thing." She agreed, because she didn't know of anything, and knows other families that would love it.

Can you imagine the insurance coverage this company would need?

I am even thinking about paying for some sort of nurse caregiver to go with her, keeping her on her schedule. I don't know.
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

Have you considered in home care and you going on the vacation?
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Can you imagine the insurance coverage this company would need?

That's one problem. Then there's the issue of something shitty really happening and you needing a real ER with real meds. Normally not bad except you're on a boat. Sure, people on boats have emergencies go on and helicopters exist, but most boats aren't 95% populated by elderly/infirm invalids with serious conditions. You'd need a floating hospital fully equipped to deal with almost anything short of surgery.




Edited By Malcolm on 1444243592
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

True.

Okay, how about building some sort of Senior Amusement Park? The rides are nice and gentle, there's bingo all the time, everyone working there dresses in clothing from 60+ years ago, the big fancy "evening" shows are all at around 4PM, and the on-site accommodations include on duty caretaker nurses.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TPRJones wrote:True.

Okay, how about building some sort of Senior Amusement Park? The rides are nice and gentle, there's bingo all the time, everyone working there dresses in clothing from 60+ years ago, the big fancy "evening" shows are all at around 4PM, and the on-site accommodations include on duty caretaker nurses.
That already exists.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
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