"...and remember next Friday is... - Hawaiian shirt day..."
I'm becoming more and more Stalinistic in my view of salesfolk and their machines. One fucking salesman was running fucking LIMEWIRE on his machines, single-handedly bringing the network to its knees. Nothing like 120-second autosaves whilst coding. Using a machine should be like driving. Some people just need a fucking license to prove they won't seriously fuck shit up.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
I have always said, "If you have no skills, you can become a salesperson."
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Needed a USB mouse to hook up to a Windows machine. Swiped the one from the iCrap I use. Opened up gmail, opened the graphic I mailed myself, & noticed a problem. Went in to see my boss & said, "Yeah, I need another mouse. This one can't right-click so I can't save the image."
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Start -> Settings -> Control Panel -> Mouse
Check the box beside "Switch primary and secondary buttons"
Of course once you've done that, you'll need to use the keyboard to undo it again, since you can't left-click anymore.
Check the box beside "Switch primary and secondary buttons"
Of course once you've done that, you'll need to use the keyboard to undo it again, since you can't left-click anymore.
"ATTENTION: Customers browsing porn must hold magazines with both hands at all times!"
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Boss comes in today (shocked the hell outta me. I think his wife is trying to get him to work from home since that second kid came).
Boss : I put something new in your dev directory.
Me : [cringe]
Boss : Look under dev/nutch-0.7
Me : [looking for escape hatch]
Boss : Uh, yeah, try to have that up and running by the end of the day.
Me : [giving up search for a way out] You realize that [the CEO] has a few things he wants me to take care of?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize I can't quite take care of them till you upload the new flash graphics to the production server?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize I'm a programmer and not a sys admin?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize that you're giving me sys admin work that is outside my job description, let alone my area of expertise, when your boss has told me of things that need to be done that are well within both my talents and job?
Boss : Yeah.
Me : You realize that the dev servers, in fact, sit at your house? You realize you could've set up this open source Java beast so I don't have to bug you every ten minutes during the installation when I figure out there's another common-everywhere-else-yet-cryptically-named-folder/file-on-the-dev-server-in-your-house configuration question? You realize that this could be done, right now, by you, in approximately thirty minutes?
Boss : Yea, try to have it running by the end of the day.
Me : You further realize I told you I was going to be ducking out early today cos the dude from Time-Warner was granting me broadband and bringing me back into civilization after weeks of an internetless existence?
Boss : Yea, try to have it up and running by the end of the day.
Me : [finally determining that this is the first project in perhaps two months that I've been given; ergo, I should've about two months to finish this] Alright, I'll see what I can do.
If I wasn't leaving this place come late fall/early winter, I'd be more pissed than normal.
Edited By Malcolm on 1150128257
Boss : I put something new in your dev directory.
Me : [cringe]
Boss : Look under dev/nutch-0.7
Me : [looking for escape hatch]
Boss : Uh, yeah, try to have that up and running by the end of the day.
Me : [giving up search for a way out] You realize that [the CEO] has a few things he wants me to take care of?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize I can't quite take care of them till you upload the new flash graphics to the production server?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize I'm a programmer and not a sys admin?
Boss : Uh, yeah.
Me : You realize that you're giving me sys admin work that is outside my job description, let alone my area of expertise, when your boss has told me of things that need to be done that are well within both my talents and job?
Boss : Yeah.
Me : You realize that the dev servers, in fact, sit at your house? You realize you could've set up this open source Java beast so I don't have to bug you every ten minutes during the installation when I figure out there's another common-everywhere-else-yet-cryptically-named-folder/file-on-the-dev-server-in-your-house configuration question? You realize that this could be done, right now, by you, in approximately thirty minutes?
Boss : Yea, try to have it running by the end of the day.
Me : You further realize I told you I was going to be ducking out early today cos the dude from Time-Warner was granting me broadband and bringing me back into civilization after weeks of an internetless existence?
Boss : Yea, try to have it up and running by the end of the day.
Me : [finally determining that this is the first project in perhaps two months that I've been given; ergo, I should've about two months to finish this] Alright, I'll see what I can do.
If I wasn't leaving this place come late fall/early winter, I'd be more pissed than normal.
Edited By Malcolm on 1150128257
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Me : Yeah, what's the JVM home directory?
Boss : You shouldn't need to know that.
Me : Well, the software you shoved at me seems to think that I do.
Boss : What?
...
...
...
Me : By the way, they want me to download a three hundred plus meg file to fill the database. Remind me to commend them for not including this in the initial download. Why are we using this again?
Boss : Cos it's Java and it's free and it works...when you get it to work.
Boss : You shouldn't need to know that.
Me : Well, the software you shoved at me seems to think that I do.
Boss : What?
...
...
...
Me : By the way, they want me to download a three hundred plus meg file to fill the database. Remind me to commend them for not including this in the initial download. Why are we using this again?
Boss : Cos it's Java and it's free and it works...when you get it to work.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Indeed it does. But for a huge, industrial-sized piece of software that could be used in dozens of countries simultaneously on different platforms, Java seems to've a leg up. Not to say I enjoy this situation, but I'm waiting for a serious Java competitor to spring up. C# is not a competitor.Java sux0rs.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Speaking of your conflicting priorities, that seems to be common.
The last two places I worked I had roughly the same conversation with two different bosses..."So you want project X done first, and project Y done first."
Boss: yes
Me: so which one do you want me to work on first?
Boss: Yes
Literally. No embelishment.
The last two places I worked I had roughly the same conversation with two different bosses..."So you want project X done first, and project Y done first."
Boss: yes
Me: so which one do you want me to work on first?
Boss: Yes
Literally. No embelishment.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
It's a product of the "do more with less" trend in corporate America.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”