Uncharted (2022)

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
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Leisher
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Uncharted (2022)

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Markie Mark and Spider-Man (the best one) star in this Indiana Jones-National Treasure mishmash based on the Playstation game series.

Tom Holland is an aspiring thief and orphan whose brother has to runaway. They dreamed of finding Magellan's lost treasure. Years later Holland is a petty thief and bartender. Enter Mark Wahlberg who promises Magellan's treasure. This runs them afoul of Antonio Banderas and his lackey, Tati Gabrielle. Also joining the fun is Sophia Ali.

This movie has some fun moments and the final sequence is utterly ridiculous, but it also has massive flaws.

For one thing, all the National Treasure type stuff will have you thinking, "Whew, it's a good thing nobody ever tried to pick that lock, look in that grate, redecorate that bar, enter that GIANT cave, and so on for the last 2000 years..." I cannot oversell how ridiculous this aspect is. There is a scene where Markie Mark is yelling to Holland who is in a room that they had to crack codes for and secrets and escape a trap, etc. How was he yelling to him? Via a simple sewer grate in a busy public square. Nobody ever just looked down there in 2000 years? WTF?

There's also a really terrible plot twist around the late middle part of the movie that makes zero sense. I know how the writer would defend it, but it's simply not based in reality at all. Not saying such a thing could not occur, but it wouldn't happen then.

Sorry, but a merc isn't going to murder the multibillionaire that hired her before she gets paid. What if she needed more of his funds to continue her pursuit of Spider-Man and Markie Mark? Less than zero chance of that ever happening. In fact, she probably would have simply framed him for the murder of his father and then retired with her blackmail money. And how in the holy hell did he escape scrutiny for that? A blatant murder that would have left DNA and witnesses everywhere.


This is clearly set up for sequels. Sure, but let's tighten up that writing. Leave in the Indy references though! I really enjoyed the nun one.

A popcorn film. Turn off your brain and just enjoy it for what it is...
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Leisher
Site Admin
Posts: 65256
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 9:17 pm
Contact:

Uncharted (2022)

Post by Leisher »

Due to all the woke shit in Hollywood I need to point out the heroes here are two straight white men and the villains are a Latino man and a black woman.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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