Smiley Face Killers (2020)

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
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Leisher
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Smiley Face Killers (2020)

Post by Leisher »

"Based on a true story" is the claim made when the film opens with random acts of violence mostly seen offscreen. Let me save you the google search. Based on a true story really means based on some real deaths, but the true story part is a theory presented by two retired cops and one doctor, while everyone else disagrees.

This is the perfect horror movie, IF the perfect horror movie is plodding, poorly written, badly acted, horribly directed, filled with tons of boring shots, and has plot holes galore. However, it does have a LOT of shots of guys looking at their phones.

The filmmakers decided to give these theoretical killers really, really stupid rituals and actions. Tremble in fear as you find your sinks and bathtub filled with water! They'll be full, but not overflowing! Good luck sleeping knowing that at your home someone has laid out an outfit for you and sprinkled water on it! They might also leave you a map with smiley faces! Oh, the horror!!!

The scariest part about the killers is the full sized white rapist/kidnapper van they drive. They also make them physically abuse their victims, which is NOT a part of the "true story". Every victim actually drowned.

Crispin Glover is in the film, and I'm guessing he did a favor for someone. His makeup hides his face and he doesn't talk, but he's there.

Fuck this movie is so bad.
-There's a scene in which the protagonist's girlfriend goes to his house to get drugs he forgot to bring to a party. She goes up to his room, never turns on the light, grabs the drugs, and then back in the driveway looks up to see his light on and someone standing there. She just leaves and never mentions it to anyone.
-The protagonist's room mate comes home to find the sinks and tub filled with water. He empties them and goes to his room, which is right next door to the bathroom. He walks out of his room a few minutes later and they're all filled again. Later still he goes in to find the taps on, and they predictably, make a lot of noise filling up.
-The killers are crazy good texters and can block their number, and assume any sort of tracking/logging the police would do.
-The protagonist is riding his bike to a party. The van is following him. He waves it around, but it won't go around. Even when he blatantly stops, it stops. He then proceeds to just ride to the party.
-After leaving the party and finding his bike's tires slashed, and after getting a dozen text messages about the water wanting him, he decides to walk home. The white van pulls up next to him and he doesn't bat an eye. The side door opens, and he just stops right next to it. Doing nothing.

The director is a career TV show director, oddly never lasting very long on any show, and this movie shows it. It feels like a TV show. A poorly made, low budget TV show.

Craptastic. Avoid it at all costs.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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