General TSA thread

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GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

Former groper describes his 4 years on the job.

http://www.politico.com/magazin....6rQz0qg
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Will be making my first non-holiday flight in a bit. Wonder if shit's different.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TSA still functionally retarded.
The Homeland Security Department has warned airlines that terrorists could try to hide explosives in shoes. It's the second time in less than three weeks that the government has issued a warning about possible attempts to smuggle explosives on a commercial jetliner.

A warning about a possible attempt? That's some concrete shit right there.

The official said "something caused DHS concern, but it's a very low threshold to trigger a warning like this." The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the issue publicly.


But don't worry, you can always pay to avoid this annoyance.
The security agency has also launched a fee-based program that allows willing flyers to submit to background checks and avoid having to remove their shoes, jackets and small amounts of liquids packed in carry-on luggage.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TheCatt
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Post by TheCatt »

But terrorists cannot pay, right?
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TheCatt wrote:But terrorists cannot pay, right?

I'm sure there's no way they'll fool our bulletproof background checking system.




Edited By Malcolm on 1392924435
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Another trip to the airport, another dream of pissing on dubyuh's grave for the tsa.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

CURSE THE BRILLIANT TSA

Best send up yet.

http://www.powerlineblog.com/archive....tsa.php
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Paul
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Post by Paul »

I went to Hawaii after Christmas and flew back Saturday.
I had no trouble with the TSA because I had my daughter with me.
Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector.

On the way back we had to sit in the plane for awhile because Air Force One was taking the President back and they had to clear the runways until he left.
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector.

If I could rent one just long enough to make it through security, I'd pay.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Supreme Court rules TSA can't legally fuck former air marshal in the ass.
MacLean contends that just after being briefed in 2003 about a potential terrorist attack, he received another TSA message: Because of a budget shortfall, the agency was cutting back on the number of flights marshals could cover.

MacLean said he went to his boss, who told him to keep quiet, and to the department’s inspector general. Stymied, he leaked the information to a reporter for MSNBC.

His identity was discovered years later, and he was fired for disclosing what is known as “sensitive security information,” or SSI.

Another reason to fuck the TSA.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TSA foiled again by elderly woman. They totally deserve that funding they're asking for.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

How the TSA spots "threats."
A new list says "excessive yawning," "whistling" and "too much laughter" could get you into trouble with airport security agents. Those gestures, along with "disguises," "face pale from recent shaving of beard," "excessive throat clearing" and "gazing down," all came out in a SPOT (Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques) referral report. Sources tell ABC News that the report is a "closely held" Transportation Security Administration document which describes the behavior officers look for when observing suspicious travelers and possible terrorists.

This organization is my primary example of why the federal gov't is a fucking joke and I refuse to participate in its elections anymore. I haven't heard anyone in Washington say it should be defunded and disbanded.




Edited By Malcolm on 1427908275
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TSA passes 95% of airport security tests. Oh, wait a second. I meant FAILED.
Officials briefed on the Homeland Security Inspector General's investigation told the station that the TSA failed 67 out of 70 tests conducted by the department's Red Teams -- undercover passengers tasked with identifying weaknesses in the screening process, NJ.com reports.

5%.

"The numbers in these reports never look good out of context, but they are a critical element in the continual evolution of our aviation security,"

CONTEXT? What fucking context is there?

"Sure, it’s great to share the things that our officers are finding, but at the same time, each time we find a dangerous item, the line is slowed down and a passenger that likely had no ill intent ends up with a citation or in some cases is even arrested."

Jesus fuck. I don't even know what I can add to that statement to make it more damning.

Here's the new boss. I'd like to preemptively say, "Fuck you, Peter. If you had any integrity whatsoever, you'd decline the nomination."




Edited By Malcolm on 1433265760
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

Write this shit down and circle your calendar, then frame that mofo.

TSA employee genuinely saves a life. Granted, it has nothing to do with airport security or anything even close to what his job's about.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

TSA misses 73 airport workers "linked to terrorism."
According to the report, the TSA had been unable to find 73 individuals "linked to terrorism" because the information the TSA received from the Department of Homeland Security Watchlist Service and used for vetting did not contain the terrorism "codes" associated with the 73 individuals. In other words, TSA did not have the entire terror watchlist.

Funny, I see to remember the DHS being created specifically to tie together all the other intel organizations in the country. Can they do any-fucking-thing right?
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking.

Since you asked.
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Malcolm
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Post by Malcolm »

GORDON wrote:They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking.

Since you asked.
Can we call it what it is? The Short Bus job agency?
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

Highly paid, and unionized, too.
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TheCatt
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Post by TheCatt »

I flew to San Jose yesterday. The TSA portion was very unremarkable.
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

As you know, I've been flying a lot lately, and I've noticed that most of the TSA agents no longer act like Nazis. I've only encountered one person who looked at everyone like they're terrorists. Their lines have also improved tremendously. Instead of standing for hours as they slowly went through their process, getting through security takes about as long as it did pre-9/11.

Are they effective? No.
Are they overpaid people too underqualified to do other jobs? Yes

But at least they're improving their attitude and not wasting as much of my time.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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