Trash Talk Hall of Fame

This is where you'll find the classic examples of trash we encounter day to day.

20010129 - "Job well done" to respected enemies, and "Wow, I've not seen anyone this stupid in a long time" to new ones.

After a long, challenging war, we've decided to undeclare from guild WDT.  They've given as good as they've gotten, and have always been gracious winners and good losers.  Because of the class and maturity shown by a majority of their members, they no longer fall under TKV's criteria for guilds we'll war.  We don't fight people who behave with intelligence and class.  We crush the morons.

Speaking of which, remember Seker, an early member of zerk's BSR guild?  We beat him into submission early on, but last night he was with a couple of friends in his new guild....and feeling vocal.  We were in town at Del bank, everyone blue.

Seker: gordonopolis duel me
Gordonopolis: Go flag.
(Notice I never specifically said I'd duel...)

(Seker leaves town to flag himself criminal)

Dex changed to 114, started as 94
Str changed to 120, started as 100
Who will you use the bandages on?
You begin applying the bandages.

Lizad: [Cr@ck BabY, AiA]
You see: Lizad
You finish applying the bandages.
Seker: [Guildmaster, AiA]
You see: Seker
Wilsterpimp: [AiA]
You see: Wilsterpimp

Seker: k
Seker: im grey

Gordonopolis: You are attacking Seker!
Seker: * Seker is wracked with extreme pain. *
You have poisoned Seker.
Gordonopolis: Blood mixes with poison and begins to corrode your weapon.

Who will you use the bandages on?
That being is not damaged!

Alex the Artist: Vas Ort Flam - Explosion
Alex the Artist
Seker: * Seker is wracked with extreme pain. *
Being perfectly rested, you shove Seker out of the way.

Alex the Artist: Por Corp Wis - Mind Blast

You see: a corpse of Seker

Container holds 21 items

Gordonopolis: dumbass

So, even though my guildmate jumped in to help, Seker was already 80% damaged by Opolis (I admit that I got lucky and landed 4 fast kat hits in a row), and his guildmates were moving in to heal, or block, or whatever.  He seems to be getting violated by his own non-ethereal (hint hint) horse.  They also looted my kill.

15 seconds later, new res Seker returns to the bank.

Seker: tkc
Seker: tkv
Seker: fasgs

Gordonopolis: You are attacking Seker!
You see: a corpse of Seker
Being perfectly rested, you shove Wilsterpimp out of the way

I never have, nor will I ever tolerate trash talk from a new res.

I was suprised that he had the intelligence to wait until the aggressor flag wore off before returning to the bank this he could mouth-off while safely blue.

Seker: reval
Gordonopolis: go flag.  lets duel.
  (I knew he wouldn't, just wanted to goad him...)

Seker: dam
Seker: what a pussy
Seker: lol
Wilsterpimp: Wis Quas - Reveal
Seker: fag
Gordonopolis: oh no
Seker: hes blue
Gordonopolis: i'm revealed
Seker: gank
Seker: bitch
Seker: lol
Seker: your a pussy

Gordonopolis: "you're," dumbass.

Seker: lol
(ignorance is funny, apparently)
Gordonopolis: You have hidden yourself well.
Seker: ok
Seker: thats y u cant duel
(duel duel duel duel DUEL DUEL DUELDUELDUELDUEL.  It's like the only word they know.  Very small one track minds.  Yawn.)
Seker: 1 on 1
Seker: lol
Seker: ill own u

Gordonopolis: remember when you were orange and i killed you daily?

Seker: ]yea
Seker: in the big
Seker: gank

Gordonopolis: Yeah, that was cool

Seker: not 1 on 1
Seker: lol
Seker: u never fight 1 on 1
Gordonopolis: "lol"
Seker: your
Seker: a pussy
Seker: bitch
Seker: lol
Seker: me to

This part cracked me up.  Lisa, a random person, walks up to him and says...

You see: Lisa
Lisa: U die alot
Lisa: :\

Gordonopolis: talks a lot too

Seker: yea
Seker: in a gank
Seker: fag

Gordonopolis: Talking big while blue and safe in town....

Seker: yea

Gordonopolis: Go to tram, newb.  Safer for you there.

Seker: like u always
Seker: stay
Seker: blue

At this point I'm getting bored with his yammering, and invite him to join me in leaving town.  I fully intended to attack him, outnumbered or not.

Gordonopolis: lets go

Seker: and never
Seker: duel
Seker: 1 on 1

You have left the protection of the town guards.

But, no balls.  I waited about three minutes.

You are now under the protection of the town guards.

Seker: [Guildmaster, AiA]
You see: Seker

Gordonopolis: i knew you wouldn't leave town.

Seker: lol (It's funny to have a big mouth and no testicles.)

A few minutes go by.  We have an impromptu guild meeting, decide to change some war declarations, including but not limited to declaring on Seker.  I warn them, and threaten to pull his punk card.

Gordonopolis: Seker, if you feel like backing up your big mouth, we're declaring on you.
Silas: hehe
Seker: kool
Gordonopolis: decline and be a punk.
Seker: tomarrow
Seker: lol
Seker: tkv r master gankers thay cant fight 1 on 1
Seker: :]

Guild message: The Knights of Vindication hath declared war on After it All!

So here's his big chance to prove himself and openly kill us.

*Time passes*

Gordonopolis: Why are you still blue, Seker.

Seker: i need to goto stone

Gordonopolis: get there then

Seker: and

Gordonopolis: GO

Seker: its in tram
Gordonopolis: GIT
Gordonopolis: step off

Seker: and i dont fell like going now
Seker: thats y

Gordonopolis: What a punk
Gordonopolis: "I don't feel like it"

Seker: lol
Seker: we need a mage

Lizad: and all that

Gordonopolis: "I'd back up my big words and declare, but I don't feel like it now."

I hear he also has a girlfriend, but she lives in Canada and you wouldn't know her.  But she's really cute.

Seker: ganker
Seker: bitch

Gordonopolis: chickenshit

Seker: o ill duel u
Seker: but
Seker: i need a mage
Seker: to help
Lizad: hehe
Seker: im so
Seker: tuff

Gordonopolis: return declaration and stop talking

Seker: i will

Gordonopolis: i doubt it

Seker: but im not going to rush
Seker: out
Seker: just
Seker: 4 your
Seker: dum ass

Gordonopolis: i seriously doubt it

Seker: u no

Gordonopolis: you wont declare.

Seker: your sooo
Seker: tuff

Gordonopolis: i'd bet money.
So talk talk talk talk talk, but not backing any of his words up.  I'm practically begging him to act like a man.

Here's where it gets really interesting.

Lizad: ill take that bet

Seker: i would
Seker: knock your teeth out
( Holy shit!!!  Haven't seen a real-life online threat in years!!!  I'm definately dealing with an old school UO computer video game playah.)
Seker: in RL
Wilsterpimp: hehe
Seker: fag

Gordonopolis: You KNOW you'll get your collective asses handed to you daily.
Gordonopolis: Is that a real life threat?
Gordonopolis: please say yes

Wilsterpimp: uh gonna tell on ya
Lizad: yes
Seker: your
Seker: dum
Wilsterpimp: call the gm pussy boy
Seker: where do u live

Gordonopolis: beautiful./.

Seker: im takeing
Lizad: i got flyer miles to spare
(I guarentee I have more miles than all 3 of them put together.  Mebbe I'll scan my platinum FF card...  Nothing like proof to back up your words.)
Seker: a vaction
Seker: so
Seker: ill
Seker: come
Seker: and
Seker: kick
Seker: yopur ass
Seker: 4 u
Seker: in RL:
(What they think is happening: Intimidation.  What I really think:  Funny and sad at the same time.  Public schools really failed this one...)

Well hell yes I'm paging a GM.  My fun doesn't come in actually fighting the comes by defeating them and getting thyem out of the game completely.  By any means neccesary.
The next available Counselor/Game Master will respond as soon as possible. Please check your Journal for messages every few minutes.
Thank you for paging. You are currently number 24 in the queue.  You can reference our website at or contact us at To cancel your page, please select the help button again and select cancel.

Seker: so
Wilsterpimp: u know what if u call gm then u are a rl pussy
Seker: punk kid
(You know he's sweating.)

This next part kinda floored me.  It seems that I can threaten to kill his entire family in real life after raping his wife and kids, just as long as I don't make any racial or religious slurs.  Something isn't right here.
GM tells Gordonopolis: I am sorry, but we are not able to assist with threats that will happen out of game. If you feel this threat is real, please contact your local authorities for assistance

Gordonopolis: wow. (Me, floored.)

Wilsterpimp: me too
Seker: :]
Wilsterpimp: im callin my mommy too
Wilsterpimp: and the gm
Seker: fucking kids
(Interesting....ironic....his one friend is name calling, his other friend is pretending to be smoking crack, and I'm acting like a kid?)
Lizad: im smoking crack

Wilsterpimp: hey
Wilsterpimp: that is ironic
(Read my mind somehow.)

Gordonopolis: anyway, you guys keep talking out your asses and not declare.

Wilsterpimp: we will

Gordonopolis: we know who the 'pussies' are.
So, I seriously doubt they'll go orange to me, because none of us have spirit speak, and we wont be able to hear then calling us bad names.

For the record, here's the number of times certain words appeared in the above transcripts:

Duel : 5
Pussy: 6
Gank: 5
Fag : 3
I, Seker, am a brain dead moron. : 1

No wait, that last one was me, just now.

Here's the little dittie his buddy was macroing over and over.  What a waste of bandwidth he is.
Lizad: My pusher........ Who Art in the Crack House
Lizad: Hollowed be thy bitches and hoes
Lizad: Grant me this day my Daily Cr@ck
Lizad: So that I May smoke myself into a MELEE FRENZY!!!!!!

So will they declare?  Doubtfull.  Too dangerous, and they lose their gum flapping ability, as well as their Delucia rights.

GORDON the Man

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