TKV's Guide to PvP

This is where you'll find the rhyme and reason why we do what we do.

This page has existed since 1998.  We won't be changing the rules for you.  Move along.

1.  We have no interest in 'dueling' anyone.  Our 'honor' doesn't ride on '1v1's.'  All we want to do is kill idiots and strip their corpses.

2.  It is really easy to not get res killed by TKV.

• Don't trashtalk.
• Don't zombie.  If we're in a big fight and you're a known zombier, then you're a KOS.
• If you can refrain from neither, then res where we aren't.  Who looks more stupid...the guy that resurrects in front of 3 people he knows are just waiting to kill him, or the 3 people who get to put a smack down on a loudmouthed punk?  We actually enjoy res killing punks.  No, in fact, we DON'T have anything better to do.

3.  Ganking.  Couple things about this.  

1. TKV's enemies currently outnumber TKV.  And we often hunt in packs.  If 2 or 3 of us swoop into a town and kill a lone orange, it's because we assume he has 4 friends within 15 seconds of joining the fight.  Not even counting the blue healers.
2. Funny how the same people who whine about TKV ganking never hesitate to do it themselves, when the odds look good enough.
3. A lot of time when these idiots say "lame TKV gankers," it's because they haven't been 2 screens over where we're fighting outnumbered.
4. We happen to enjoy each other's company.  We're not going to play the game all by ourselves on the off chance we run into a lone orange, and ensure what follows isn't a 'gank.'  Additionally, we aren't going to stand idly by while a friend is in a fight.
5. And most importantly, if you are unfortunate to be where we are and get jumped, DON'T CRY ABOUT IT.  There is honor in either saying nothing, or saying "I was outnumbered."  Whining and crying just makes you look like a crybaby.

4.  Broadband internet connections.  We don't really care if you're on dialup, have a bad trace route to the server, or are dropping a lot.  TKV, those currently on broadband, were still on dialup in UO for over 2 years.  We've been there.  We suffered through it.  If you don't like it, you can always quit.  Don't whine about it.  I'm not going back to dialup just to make you happy.  So shut up, you slow sum'bitch.

5.  If you want to fight me and you're afraid to join a guild I'm warring, then go gray.  No, I'm not going to follow you out into a field.  No, I'm not going to guarantee my friends aren't going to help.  I already kill several people a day without a death...I don't need to waste my time to accommodate you and your fragile little ego.  

6.  Don't try to impress me or threaten with real life stuff.  The first thing I think when someone says to me "I'm in mensa" or "I'll kick your ass in real life" is....what a sad, scared young child this must be.  Me, I'm already successful, married, and make lots of money.  I don't try to impress people with it in-game.  Which tells me that people who do advertise it in-game are liars.

7.  Poisoned weapons.  We don't care if you don't use them.  Yes, we use them.  No, each of our characters do not have the poison skill.  No, we're not going to acquire it.  No, it is not an exploit.  Yes, dp is available to each and every player in UO, so it is your own fault if you don't have the common sense to use it.  I've seen each and every person I've killed use armor, even though I'd bet money they weren't blacksmiths.  I've seen them all use Heal Potions, though they weren't alchemists.  So shut your pie holes and stop crying, you big babies.  Learn to play the game already.

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