Welcome to the Jungle

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
Post Reply
Leisher
Site Admin
Posts: 65652
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 9:17 pm
Contact:

Post by Leisher »

Blair Witch with cannibals. (That might be the most accurate four word description of a film ever.)

Completely pointless and boring.

The box cover proclaims it to be the most terrifying film of the decade or some shit. It's not. There isn't a moment, not a single moment, in this film that's even remotely scary, let alone terrifying.

The whole thing is, as stated, a Blair Witch clone. Shallow characters who act illogically and nothing like real people.

The entire plot revolves around four friends who come up with a get rich quick scheme involving them going into tremendously dangerous territory with no real plan, training, tools, etc. Shortly after arriving a rift develops between them for no reason whatsoever. This was supposed to add development and depth, it doesn't. It actually shows how poorly this film was written as characters and their motivations completely change out of nowhere.

On top of that, there are giant holes in the plot. The funniest of which is the film itself. Here's a hint: It's filmed Blair Witch style...ponder that at the end.

Not all of it was bad though. The acting was decent, aside from the way over the top "Mike". There's also a really cool visual and effect.

Mostly though, it's a lot of nothing. Remember Brian from Family Guy when he took the blind guy to see The Blair Witch Project? He said, "Nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. Something about a map. Nothing's happening. It's over. A lot of people look pissed." He'd give a prett identical review to this film.

So if you loved Blair Witch, see this movie. If not, you'll hate this too.

2 out of 10.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Post Reply