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Guy pretends to be stood up on Valentine's Day... Click-through for the thread

I was thinking he was a gigantic douchebag, then he gave money to charity so he was cool, then it was the ACLU and their statement about fighting Donald Trump made him a douchebag again, then he tipped the waiter $20 and he was a minor douchebag. He should have tipped more.

Leisher wrote: I was thinking he was a gigantic douchebag, then he gave money to charity so he was cool, then it was the ACLU and their statement about fighting Donald Trump made him a douchebag again, then he tipped the waiter $20 and he was a minor douchebag. He should have tipped more.

Overall, I think I Agree. that was a long time at the table.

P.S. Not that I mind the ACLU fighting Trump, but that's a terribly political statement from a group that's supposed to be bi-partisan.

I like that Outback tweeted back offering a free dinner if he gets a real date.

What's important to you?

Kinda fun.

Here's my top 5 / bottom 5 after doing it way too long this morning (out of 95 items)
1. Ability to fly
2. Enough food to not feel hungry
3. Have 10 children with your genes being raised by other parents
4. Extend your life 10 years
5. Ability to see 2 seconds into the future whenever you want
...
91. Have a big bubble butt
92. Hear all the bad things people say about you behind your back
93. Have effortlessly read 400 good books
94. Have sex with a clone of yourself
95. Permanently swap your biological sex

Although, if I did do #95, #94 would be more enticing.

Girlfriend and I had a conversation the other day, about taking a harry potter polyjuice potion of each other, them doing the deed.

She was interested in the concept, but I think I'd have a real problem with this basilisk I pack about to violate me.

Does the damn thing ever end?

My top 5:
1. Be loved.
2. A very physically attractive romantic partner.
3. A committed, stable, long-term romantic relationship.
4. A tight knit, loyal friend group.
5. A fulfilling, active sex life.
...
86. Ability to grow any penis you touch to any size you want.
87. You gain 100 cool leather jackets.
88. Permanently swap your biological sex.
89. Have 1000 children with your genes being raised by other parents.
90. Ability to painlessly perform oral sex on yourself.

I'm a romantic.

GORDON wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 9:38 am She was interested in the concept, but I think I'd have a real problem with this basilisk I pack about to violate me.

Right? Like how do you feel something that small if it's not connected to you?

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 11:16 am Does the damn thing ever end?

No.

Leishers ability to enlarge any penis he touches is as high as number 86???

GORDON wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 1:52 pm Leishers ability to enlarge any penis he touches is as high as number 86???

Higher for me. I just think it'd be cool to have a penis you could endlessly customize for your partner(s). I assume my own, but you do you.

GORDON wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 1:52 pm Leishers ability to enlarge any penis he touches is as high as number 86???

I only had 90 options. To be fair, of my bottom 5, it's the only one I voted for once. That was because it was it or change my sex.

The weirdest option, imho, was the 100 cool leather jackets. Who the hell has ever chosen that?

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 11:16 am 3. A committed, stable, long-term romantic relationship.

Interesting, this one never came up for me.

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 11:16 am 2. A very physically attractive romantic partner.

#41 for me.

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 11:16 am 4. A tight knit, loyal friend group.

#37

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 11:16 am 5. A fulfilling, active sex life.

#9

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 2:05 pm The weirdest option, imho, was the 100 cool leather jackets. Who the hell has ever chosen that?

Somehow, on mine that's #67, which... I've only put it above one thing, which was probably "change my sex" or such. Above owning a pet or going to space, which doesn't make sense. Clearly those have never come up against each other. Maybe leather jackets only came up directly against popular stuff.

Summon demons is another weird one. Like, do I also CONTROL them? Because, otherwise, fuck that.

My 1-5 came up a LOT. That's part of why they were so high. Plus, they were no brainers when put against "Make someone poop by looking at them" and other such stupidity.

I saw the summon demons one and had the same thought. Why would I want to use I could control them. I also wondered what exactly controlling bees gave me besides fresh honey.

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 2:41 pm Plus, they were no brainers when put against "Make someone poop by looking at them" and other such stupidity.

I HAVE NO COMMENT ON HOW HIGHLY I MAY HAVE RATED THE POOP ONE.

Leisher wrote: ↑Mon Apr 10, 2023 2:41 pm I also wondered what exactly controlling bees gave me besides fresh honey.

Stinging people so badly they poop themselves.

Then BAM some fucking old person wants to speedwalk her lane.