Welcome to Thunderdome

Posted: **Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:21 pm**

Leisher wrote:My roster in one of my fantasy leagues is full of studs, yet I'm somehow 2-8.

In my other league I've got shittier players, yet I'm somehow around .500.

Bad year.

I won this week with Blake Bortles as my QB.

Posted: **Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:23 pm**

Bortles isn't a bad fantasy QB. Got plenty of dudes to throw to, turning it over less than previous years, way more yards and completions.

Posted: **Mon Nov 16, 2015 10:53 pm**

Foles benched.

Down to two undefeated teams.

Edited By Malcolm on 1447737383

Posted: **Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:31 am**

Bye, Rob Ryan

Posted: **Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:16 pm**

Malcolm wrote:Cleveland announces they're forfeiting Sunday's game.
Despite an obvious hesitation from head coach Mike Pettine, who declined to tell reporters who his starter would be on Friday and who seemed to prefer a healthy Josh McCown, Manziel will take the field against the division-rival Steelers.

Browns write off the rest of the season, practice squad players to fill in. How the fuck does a 30-9 loss net you a starting gig?

Posted: **Tue Nov 17, 2015 1:45 pm**

Because you can't have too many Tebow stories.

Posted: **Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:39 pm**

Wow. What a fucking boring game.

Cash league:
Allen Hurns chokes for my opponent while Michael Floyd can't practice for Arizona ... which means my busted sleeper, John Brown, might rack up a fucking catch for the first time in 3 fucking weeks.

Catt league:
Allen Hurns chokes for Malcolm. Prediction: AJ Green chokes as well while Wes Welker puts up 40 and a score on my bench.

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 1:20 pm**

Bucs QB threatens to sue CNN over rapey docu-film.

Rob Ryan claims he was blamed for Katrina. I don't know, Rob, the lack of preparation looks a lot like your defensive schemes.

Kaep getting traded in offseason. Wonder who wants that fixer-upper?

I'm also expecting to get destroyed in the cash league this week. Tony Brown is on bye, Barny's on bye.

QB: Fitzpatrick at Houston. I expect some unpleasant pass rushing.
RBs: Forsett at the Rams, Ivory at Houston. Forsett has a tiny chance of doing well because the Rams can get dinged on the ground. I expect decent things from Ivory. Karlos Williams flexing as the change of pace dude for Shady.
WRs: Fuck me. John Brown at Cincy, Rishard Matthews at Dallas. I got no one better. Chris Givens was my insurance if John couldn't play. I've totally fucked up my WR picks the last couple years.
TE: Jordan Reed at Carolina. Do not like the matchup.
K, D: Zuerlein + Rams at Baltimore. Do not like the road game against Flaccid Flacco with an offense led by Case goddamn Keenum. I expect Gurley to get stuffed and a fuckload of incomplete passes as a result. Plenty of game time for Flacco to use his JV receiving corp and Forsett to wear down the Rams.

Opponent has Brady and Woodhead. Those two dudes alone could outscore me. That's Brady, at home playing Buffalo, on MNF. Woody's at home against KC, who do a statistically solid job of keeping receiving RBs in check. The only way Brady doesn't get 30+ points (because passing TDs are six fucking points in this league) is if LeSean + Karlos steamrolls NE. Not many teams get the chance to run against them because the Cheating Douchebags generally go up big early.

Games where it's been "close" for them:
Week 1 .. Deangelo does for 127 on the ground
Week 2 .. 150+ rushing for Buffalo as Julian Edelman kills the Bills
Week 6 .. Frank Gore averages 6 yards per carry

They've had two weeks where they successfully contained a rusher.

Edited By Malcolm on 1448217216

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 8:34 pm**

Catt league:
Newton, KC's D, and Doug Martin put me over the top.

Catt league:
Not breaking 50 points.

Fucked up day, too.

1) Baltimore loses Flacco and Forsett. Flaccid's gone for the season, Forsett has a broken right arm.

2) Carolina, 10-0. Cam Newton's mom wouldn't have bet on the Panthers being 10-0 at the start of the season.

3) Jets are officially not contenders anymore as the Texans manhandle them.

4) Philly sinks a little further as a rookie QB lights them up for 5 TDs and Doug Martin runs over them for 230+.

5) Goddamn, KC looks dominant.

6) Vikes and Packers are 7-3, tied for div lead.

7) Frisco looks so fucking bad.

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:09 pm**

Washington player: Our manginas are bleeding. Does anyone have any tampons?

Said Hatcher: "I'm just frustrated with it. We shouldn't have to be punished for that. It's been every game, calls after calls that should've been made in our favor, but it goes to them. It's just not right. We in the league, too. We're National Football players. We got a team, too. We go out there, and we sweat and work hard too. I don't give a crap about the name. We are players. We've got feelings, too, and we want to win, too."

That's a Washington ... uh, cheerleader, I presume bitching about how his team gets penalized excessively due to their name.

Hatcher won't want to hear this, either, but coming into Week 11, only four teams had been flagged fewer times than Washington, per NFL Research.

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:11 pm**

Eagles suck.

Go Panthers!

Posted: **Sun Nov 22, 2015 9:29 pm**

The Vikes-Packer game was an embarrassment for MN's defense. At one point, they had racked up 8 penalties for 110 yards. I swear to christ that almost all of them came on third down, too.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 10:29 am**

Lynch could be done.

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 10:35 am**

My opponent played Lynch in fantasy yesterday. I thought it was a slam dunk until Forsett broke his mofoing arm.

So we tied. Which is fucking bullshit.

Edited By Troy on 1448292925

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 10:49 am**

Heh. I dropped James Jones this week and played Rishard Matthews.

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:02 am**

Refrigerator Perry ain't got shit on this dude.

Poe is actually 11 pounds heavier than William "Refrigerator" Perry, who, according to the Chiefs, was 335 pounds the last time he crossed a goal line.

The scary thing is that Poe is far more athletic, too. For those who don't remember, he was the workout darling of the 2012 combine, a player who hurled up 44 reps on the bench press and ran a sub-5 40-yard dash at almost 350 pounds. On Sunday, he actually jumped over the Chargers' defensive line to score the touchdown and didn't look half bad doing it, either.

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2015 1:15 pm**

Manziel is still an idiot.

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2015 1:25 pm**

Fucking christ, the top brass look like they're doing everything to give him the starting gig short of releasing all other QBs on their roster. Cut anchor and put that loser out to free agency sea where more desperate teams can take a chance on him. And I know it's Cleveland, but I wouldn't call them "desperate." They've settled into their mediocrity quite happily and, given the shine they've taken to Boyziel, they want to remain there for awhile.

Posted: **Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:20 am**

Word is Johnny McRehab is benched, McCown is starting. A boon for Barny owners.

Posted: **Wed Nov 25, 2015 4:42 pm**

Stedman Bailey shot twice in the head.