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Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:26 pm
by Malcolm
Two for one.
Police in Washington say someone may have donated their cooler without checking what was inside.

The cooler contained five large bags of marijuana.
Three and three-quarter pounds. I'm not sure who's stupider: the dumb-ass that left it in there or the dumb-ass that turned it in.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:00 pm
by Leisher
Maybe it was intentionally in there? Like a parent, kid, spurned lover, etc.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:34 am
by Leisher
When trying to commit murder make sure you get all the details right.

What is it with these cowards who think murder is a better option than just getting divorced?

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 11:39 am
by GORDON
Leisher wrote: When trying to commit murder make sure you get all the details right.

What is it with these cowards who think murder is a better option than just getting divorced?
Probably because half, forever.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:54 pm
by Leisher
You bring up an interesting point.

Have we, as a society, made men so fearful of divorce that murder legit looks like a better option?

You know the immediate counter will be: Then don't get married.

And that's not wrong.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Wed May 03, 2017 2:02 pm
by Leisher
Fuck this bitch and everyone like her.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:25 pm
by Leisher

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 12:57 pm
by Malcolm
Jesus kills.
It all started simply enough: A 31-year-old man went to get a tattoo on his right leg. Beneath an illustration of a cross and hands in prayer, the words "Jesus is my life" were written in cursive.
Then he went swimming and died.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:42 pm
by Leisher
Woman kills boyfriend for YouTube video.

His idea, but neither have a brain.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:06 pm
by Vince
Leisher wrote: Woman kills boyfriend for YouTube video.

His idea, but neither have a brain.
I saw it was a 50 cal Desert Eagle? So they pretty much ensured it would kill him by using a pretty powerful handgun.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:16 pm
by Leisher
But a book stopped a bullet previously...!

That was their logic.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 7:44 pm
by Vince
Leisher wrote: But a book stopped a bullet previously...!

That was their logic.
We live in a world where the media tells them that a semi-automatic is a machine gun and an assault weapon is a real thing. So given the general ignorance of the non-shooting public at large I'm not horribly surprised.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:17 pm
by Malcolm
Technically, a thick enough book would work but you'd need a lot of pages. A couple hundred thousand?

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 10:21 pm
by Malcolm
A piss pour story (grammatically correct).

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 10:27 pm
by Malcolm
Runner-up: everyone who believes in "brain-training games."
The first large study to rigorously examine brain-training games using cognitive tests and brain imaging adds to evidence that they are not particularly good at training brains and appear to have no more effect on healthy brains than video games. The study is another blow to companies such as Lumosity that have been accused of falsely claiming their programs can improve mental performance.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:33 pm
by Malcolm
Whoever fucking ran this survey is a moron.
Over 73 percent of Democrats would give up alcohol for the rest of their life if it meant Attention Whore Drumpf would be impeached tomorrow, according to a survey released on Thursday by a drug and alcohol rehabilitation group.

Only 17 percent of Republicans would give up alcohol for Drumpf’s impeachment. The poll also found that nearly 31 percent of Republicans would give up drinking if it meant the media stopped writing negative things about Substitute Teacher Drumpf.
And the runner-up.
“He left his phone in his truck, he’s installing a new lock on the door, and he gets locked inside the building where the ATM is,” Officer Richard Olden of Corpus Christi Police told KRISTV.

People were going to the ATM to get money when the man stuck inside slid notes through the receipt slot saying: “Please Help. I’m stuck in here, and I don’t have my phone. Please call my boss.”

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 9:00 am
by Leisher
The poll also found that nearly 31 percent of Republicans would give up drinking if it meant the media stopped writing negative things about President Trump.
Proving the point that when you are reporting opinion and not news, people tend to not only tune you out, but you get the opposite of your desired intent.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:09 pm
by Leisher
Winner for today: The government of the city of Toronto.

Man spends $550 to build stairs city estimated would cost $65,000 or more.

The man didn't have to pay 12 union guys to stand and watch 1 work. He also didn't have to pay off any "officials" who want their taste.

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:42 pm
by Leisher

Today's Moron Champion

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:54 am
by Leisher
Teens being kids.

There's no real story here, just kids doing something dumb for a laugh. However, I'd offer them the pro tip of not filming themselves doing something that could potentially, and in this case did, result in criminal charges.