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Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 2:13 pm
by TheCatt
TPR's had:
Steve
"household chores"
"video games"
"hairy beard"
"car"
"wife"
I think TPR is mad for your hairy face, and wants to marry you.
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 4:21 pm
by GORDON
Oooh, I heard it but didn't realize how personalized it was...
Especially since I shaved the beard off over a month ago.
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:21 pm
by TPRJones
It didn't help that I have no idea if you actually have a job or not. Or your wife's name. I just went for best guesses.
Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:25 pm
by TPRJones
Plot and story, characters with depth, a script with lines that aren't completely stupid and/or hopelessly cheesy, any semblance of reasonably possible events; you don't need any of that shit if you've got Samuel L. Fucking Jackson!
Unfortunately, this movie only has about 5% of the total SLFJ that it needed. After adding in the four bonus stars for the SLFJ that it did have, I give it a total score of 2 out of 5 stars. I don't quite feel like my time was wasted watching it, but I can't recommend it.
Edited By TPRJones on 1155936524
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:32 pm
by GORDON
Saw it.
The film makers' sin was... they still tried to make a serious movie underneath all the camp. They missed several chances for laughs...
Baggage handler: "The snakes are on the plane!"
Random passengers: "What the.... snakes on a plane?"
Captain: "Mayday! We got snakes on a plane!"
LAX Tower: "OMG, they got snakes on a plane!"
Snake expert: "Snakes? On a plane?"
And then, finally, Sam Jackson can start dropping the mother fuckers.
They tried to make the movie a thriller, but all by itself nobody was going to accept it for a thriller.
Edited By GORDON on 1156458808
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:54 pm
by Malcolm
The film makers' sin was... they still tried to make a serious movie underneath all the camp.
Goddamnit. I was afraid of this. The previews did nothing to allay my fears. This is how you fuck up a flick that's supposed to be bad.
I'll 'Flix it one day, but I ain't seeing it in the theatre.
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:41 pm
by TPRJones
See it either in a packed and lively theater or - if you 'flix it - watch it while very drunk.
Heh, nevermind, look who I'm talking to. You should be fine. 
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:46 pm
by GORDON
Yep, theatre in which I saw it was COMPLETELY empty, so we got to make all of our own commentary.
"Cat on a plane!"
"Snakes in the doctor!"
etc.
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 8:08 pm
by TPRJones
I figured as much. So far people that saw it in an empty theater were nearly universally disappointed, and people seeing it in a packed theater nearly all loved it.
If there's a special midnight showing advertised somewhere (similar to Rocky Horror, with drunken weirdos in costumes), I'd go see it again then. Otherwise not so much.
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 8:44 pm
by Leisher
Have you all heard about the kids in Arizona who thought it'd be funny to release snakes into the theater on opening night of this film?
The little dumbfucks used Diamondbacks.
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 8:58 pm
by GORDON
Manslaughter is a great prank.
YOU'VE BEEN ZAPPED!
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 9:44 pm
by Malcolm
Have you all heard about the kids in Arizona who thought it'd be funny to release snakes into the theater on opening night of this film?
The little dumbfucks used Diamondbacks.
I'm certainly going to hell for this, but goddamn, that's more than somewhat amusing.
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:04 am
by TheCatt
Have you all heard about the kids in Arizona who thought it'd be funny to release snakes into the theater on opening night of this film?
The little dumbfucks used Diamondbacks.
Well, the THOUGHT was funny.
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 1:52 pm
by Malcolm
Have you all heard about the kids in Arizona who thought it'd be funny to release snakes into the theater on opening night of this film?
The little dumbfucks used Diamondbacks.
Well, the THOUGHT was funny.
Truth be told, the venom of the western diamondback isn't as bad as some of the other snakes they could've chosen. & dumping some cold-blooded critters into what is probably an air-conditioned theatre means that the just slow down as time goes on.
Still, some suitably sized garter snakes would've been funnier.
Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:13 am
by 98-1151371563
Message from the President about new Airline Threat
Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 10:58 pm
by GORDON
Goddammit, I think I accidently deleted the Snakes front page post when I made the Steve Irwin post.
Anyone have the index.html with SNAKES in cache?