Today's Moron Champion

[Malcolm]

Petty theft doesn't warrant death.

[GORDON]

Only amputation.

But it was an accident that could have been avoided if the guy wasn't stealing DVDs. Pretty easy, actually.

[Malcolm]

Neither their lives nor the lives of anyone else got put in any danger. The motherfucker was a year away from being a senior citizen and had already halfway apprehended himself by virtue of tripping over his own pants.

[TheCatt]

I have little sympathy for the thief. The Walmart employees were not intentionally trying to kill the guy. The guy was intentionally trying to be a thieving prick.

This.

Killing him was (I'm assuming) an accident. Trying to catch a criminal was their primary focus. Had there been no criminal, no accidental death.

[GORDON]

As long as those walmart people feel bad, I think they've been punished enough.

[Malcolm]

The Walmart employees were not intentionally trying to kill the guy.

Their knowledge of takedown maneuvers was limited to "sit on him," which they did quite intentionally. Restraining someone, like any other martial skill in the world, has good techniques and fucking stupid ones. Ignorance of either is not an excuse and a few hundred dollars of outdated media isn't worth going cowboy.

[GORDON]

Thieves are scum. The only ones who get leniency are the ones stealing food. Welcome to America II.

[TheCatt]

Thieves are scum. The only ones who get leniency are the ones stealing food. Welcome to America II.

I feel very strongly about property rights, and agree wholeheartedly with Gordon.

[Malcolm]

And I believe strongly in a legal system that doesn't support overly harsh consequences for small time crimes, whether applied by the system or the citizens.

[GORDON]

There a whole lot of crimes on the books that I don't agree with, and even break, but I think "Don't steal" should be one of the big three.

I am dead serious when I say we should cut off hands for it. That way you can only get caught stealing twice.

Well, I guess unless you get hooks. But then people will see you coming at them with those hook hands and be extra cautious that you're going to steal their shit.

Maybe for teens we could just take a finger because they are minors.

[TheCatt]

I believe in fewer crimes, but harsh penalties.

[GORDON]

I'd like to see the stocks/public shaming make a comeback.

[Malcolm]

Fuck all that noise.

[TheCatt]

Fuck all that noise.

Yeah, let's just have crime-infested worlds.

[Malcolm]

I don't think harsher penalties or hacking limbs is a serious long term solution. I must be a fucking anarchist.

[Malcolm]

Right on fucking cue.

[GORDON]

Looks like he died of natural causes while he also happened to be tied to a tree. Sad, but what can you do.

[Vince]

I don't think harsher penalties or hacking limbs is a serious long term solution. I must be a fucking anarchist.

You pretty much seem to be. Though you can't get more anarchist than vigilantes.

[GORDON]

Who said anything about vigilantes? If there is irrefutable video evidence, which is not difficult nowadays, and a jury finds him guilty, *chop*

[Malcolm]

Who said anything about vigilantes? If there is irrefutable video evidence, which is not difficult nowadays, and a jury finds him guilty, *chop*

Hell, no. My taxes aren't going to support the handless. On further thought, one of the additional reasons I don't like bullshit punishments like this is that they don't scale. If you hack off a hand for swiping some DVDs, what do you do to world class thieves like corporate embezzlers who can steal millions at a time? They don't have enough limbs. Fuck Hammurabi's Code v2.0.