The Toybox (2018)

[Leisher]

Hulu

I know there's a thread for this somewhere because I remember a trailer being posted. This movie isn't worth digging for it.

Denise Richards and Mischa Barton (who is apparently famous, but I don't know why) have some compromised photos/videos out there and Jeff Denton has them. That's the only explanation for why they'd be in this turd. Hardcore porn has better stories, dialogue, and acting.

Jeff being the writer, director, male lead, etc.

I thought this movie was about a family whose father harbored a dark secret they would discover while vacationing in his RV.

Nope.

If Christine fucked Poltergeist, the baby would be this movie...if the baby never got oxygen in the womb and was still born.

A grandfather buys an RV and it happens to be haunted by a serial killer. I'm guessing because I'm not done with the movie yet, but the ghost that keeps showing up is clearly a guy from the 70s (picture David Cross wearing a mop on his head) and he's not friendly. Update: I'm right, they're revealing it now.

Denise Richards' best moment was displaying what I assume are her actual parenting skills.

One of the guys just had his wife and child murdered in the last hour and he's acting absolutely fine. The RV is randomly starting, not starting, windows/doors won't open, a TV keeps turning on and play scenes of the guy killed his victims or images from this trip that nobody could have filmed, the faucet spurts blood, the fridge instantly rotted food so it looked years old, etc. yet the main character laughs at the idea it's haunted.

And now the ghost is physically forcing people to do things. This movie suuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkss.

Finally, a moment that made sense. The lead male killed himself after losing his wife, kid, father, and brother in the past 15 minutes.

Barton is the last one alive and just watched a guy shoot himself. Did you expect that she'd then immediately fall asleep?

Wait, she's awake and holding a knife to protect her from ghost stuff like cabinets opening and whatnot. Thank goodness.

And she was asleep again, but she's still got the knife! This killed is nothing if not considerate. Who else lets their victims get beauty sleep and stay armed?

If you're following along at home, she's trapped in an RV she knows is haunted by a serial killer, she's surrounded by bodies of people she watched die, and she's fallen asleep twice in the span of an hour or so. (Story time, not movie time.)

The serial killer guy is the worst actor in the movie and that's saying something.

Barton just swung the knife wildly at the ghost who was 10 feet away and cut him. WTF?

Oh! Of fucking course. She's now stabbing the RV and that hurts him. Now he's screaming and...it's the next day. Barton was probably sleepy.

Dirt bike guys show up. Chair outside and body are gone. They go inside and when trying to leave the door slams on them trapping them inside.

Credits.

This is a real movie people made. A real person thought this was their ticket to fame and fortune.

If you ever meet Jeff Denton slap him for me.