Blood Rage (1987)

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Leisher
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Blood Rage (1987)

Post by Leisher »

A horror classic featuring Louise Lasser! (I had to Google her, and I still have no idea who she is...)

The hype for this film claims it's a popular classic, but I had never heard of it before. In fact, when it opens the title says "Slasher". I hear it was also called "Nightmare at Shadow Woods".

I guess Louise Lasser is a big name from the 70s? The guy who plays the main killer and his brother is a character actor that I recognize, but could never name or list his films. The only person you'll know is the condom salesman who appears for about 20 seconds in the opening scene, Ted Raimi. (Sam's younger brother.)

Anyway, this is an 80s film, so expect boobs, butts, and the slighted bits of bush.

Let me get the good out of the way immediately: The special effects are awesome. Apparently, the guy worked on T2. It's a gory film.

Now for the bad. Is the story/dialogue or the acting worse? While the acting is really bad, the story/dialogue is on another level. My logical guess is that the person behind the script also writes porn.

Here's the gist: A mother of twins tries to cope with one of them being a killer. Is the right one locked up? Why does the evil one kill? Why is the other one such a gigantic fucking pussy? Anyway, the son in the mental hospital breaks out and the fun starts.

"Oh, your insane son broke out of his mental hospital? Let's fuck."
"Yeah, your 10-12 year old sons are in the back of the station wagon, but let's fuck!"
"Hey Terry, I haven't seen you in forever. Let's fuck!"
(Mom peeking with a dirty smile around a corner to see who her babysitter, who she left alone, might be screwing.) "What's going on in here?"
(Same mom to her baby in its crib as she is putting on lingerie.) "I'm about to get you a new daddy."
"Oh my God, Terry's insane brother is on the loose and HERE! Let's fuck!"

Those quotes aren't EXACTLY what is said, but they're all really fucking close.

A bad movie, but good enough that it could be featured in a MST3000 episode or a How Did This Get Made podcast. There's just so much to make fun of here, and not in a "This is insulting garbage that just pisses me off" kind of way.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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