Robot Revolution

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
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Leisher
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Robot Revolution

Post by Leisher »

Before you start reading this review, start playing this music in another window. Put in on a loop. Crank it up so it's just loud enough to cover up your normal speaking voice. NEVER turn it off.

Got that done? Ok. The next step is to randomly turn off your monitor for 5-10 second intervals. Don't do this once or twice. Do it a LOT. Like every minute or so.

Now randomly look at things around you every minute. Get really close for no reason. In fact, ask your spouse or kid to sit next to you while you read this and every minute just get really close to their face and stare for about 5 seconds.

The next step is to quickly shake your head. Not back and forth. No, just shake it so your vision shakes and you can't focus on anything. Basically, do anything you can to make it so it's really hard to read the review. Pressing hard on your eyeballs so your vision gets blurry also works.

Cover the walls of your room with the plastic containers they ship two liters in, and the fibrous cardboard used for padding in shipments, printers, etc. Now your room looks like the future!

Picture that you live in a twin towered apartment complex, but for some reason it only has five floors (despite outside shoots of buildings with 20+ floors) and only about 6 people live there.

Now imagine all your neighbors coming outside to put on a play. It's completely unrehearsed and none of them have the script. Some have to act like zombies even though they've never seen a zombie movie. Have the rest talk in technical terms about technology they know nothing about.

Have nobody stand outside the room you're in right now. Pretend you're trapped. That level of suspense is exactly the level of the movie's.

Ok, almost there! Now you need to purchase a GIANT robotic dog. It needs to be impossibly large. It'll fit in your hallway, but its design should make no sense for its function, which is sweeping. Oh, and make sure it has a "laser" cannon on its back, because brooms need laser cannons.

Now you're living in the world this film creates!

Hey, what happens when you release machine controlling nanobots in a mist three feet from an android? If you guessed it would ignore it and take over an elevator, you are as mentally deranged as the writers of this turd. Bad writing is the standard in this film. The writers are stupid or were high. Take your pick.

A close up of said android late in the film clearly reveals the human in the suit. If the filmmakers can't pay attention, why should I?

The acting is beyond laughably bad. I don't really blame the actors as they clearly aren't pros, and I doubt the director knew how to get them to perform.

Everyone involved in making this movie should be embarrassed. I was embarrassed watching it. Easily one of the worst movies ever made.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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