Book - "Saved - Book 1 of The Circle Trilogy" - by me

[GORDON]

So, that being said, my book is NOT erotica. I just don't pretend monsters don't do things to kids.

But I can envision someone reporting it as inappropriate.

[TheCatt]

I can't wait for the pedo groups to fall in love with your book.

[GORDON]

I can't wait for the pedo groups to fall in love with your book.

You know, that's sort of funny. Originally, this book was going to be a "50 Shades" killer. I was writing about a group of young, 18+ women really into the idea of being forced, and it was originally much more erotic, exactly in the vein of the current-popular book, 50 Shades. So that's what I wrote. And my twist was.... all of these women were supposed to get into the naughty aspects of the book, then I was going to flip it on them, and show how damaged and fucked up all of these women became. But then about 120k words into it,the most broken character began to emerge as the head of the story, and it all changed. By the time I finished the entire story (300k words in), it was completely different than how it began.

So.... I decided to change it, I rewrote it, I aged the characters down to make them actual victims instead of women simply making bad decisions, and stripped all of the eroticism from it, because of that. I left in the bare bones, "Here's how the older man seduced the young girl," and tried to make it convincing, but no more lovingly describing the acts, as was the original intent.

So yes, my original idea was for the peeps who loved 50 Shades to read it and be excited... then by the end make them feel bad for it. But then I changed the story, so now the story arc is.... a bunch of girls and young women get victimized, and here's how they fought and came back. I love the last book, you won't recognize them from first book because they grow, and overcome, so much.

This is also why I've rewritten it 3 times. It went from erotic to child abuse, and it was difficult stripping out so much story. I won't spoiler and tell you which character emerged and changed my outlook, but dammit, she ruined my sex story by being so awesome.

[GORDON]

BTW, how would one know if a pedo group was endorsing my book?

I mean, I doubt it. It isn't much of a spoiler to say that the pedos in my book come to very bad ends. That comes out on like page 3.

That's why I started it at the end. I wanted no confusion about it, the pedos come to bad ends, and you know that from the beginning.

I very much prefer telling stories chronologically, but this one was too risky. It was much better when the opening line was, "Jennifer Erin Banks was born in a September to middle aged parents. She was very much a surprise, but they did their best to start over with another baby. They did as well as they could." It tells her life story, and how she was groomed and seduced, and how she ended up in the ring, and how she was able to save everyone. It was elegant, and logical, and it made perfect sense that a young girl could out-think a bunch of old man. But I didn't feel I could save all of the consequences until the end... people were going to see it as 150 pages of child sex, and then drop it in disgust before she flips over their table. So I had to tell the story backwards.

It was a concession.

This is a sort of story I'd tell in a "meet the author" group, with a bunch of people who've read the book and understand the context. Sorry if you consider it spoilery. It is, slightly... but as I said, I lay out in the first 10 pages how it ended, and then the story gets told in flashback.

[TheCatt]

BTW, how would one know if a pedo group was endorsing my book?

I have no idea.

Actually, I assume if it happens, twitter will let you know your Marvel days are over.

[GORDON]

I wrote all these books in Word, but then when I started seriously editing, I discovered Scrivener. Hell of a learning curve, but it's a powerful writing tool.

I just transcribed Book 2 into Scrivener. 27 Chapters, but it will probably get broken down to 29. Ends on a hell of a cliffhanger, but it's very satisfying at the same time.

[GORDON]

After business hours, "# Pages Read" starts moving again.

[TheCatt]

I think that's what my wife uses. Rings a bell.

[GORDON]

I was going sort of insane the final 10 days before publishing, fixing formatting. Had to google a ton.

[GORDON]

Just had a woman I know tell me that she read the beginning, but wasn't comfortable continuing.

So... a couple of my female relatives say it isn't as dark as I think it is...

And this woman said she couldn't even continue.

So I'm not sure what to take away from that. Maybe she just personally got triggered... which is fine. But damn I hope I get some good feedback soon, this is nerve wracking

[Leisher]

Don't take this the wrong way because A) I haven't read it yet and B) you know I'm rooting for your success, but while I completely understand crossing your fingers for some good feedback, you wrote and published a book. That's a win. A huge fucking win.

Doesn't matter if the book sucks or not. You completed your goal and now you have more experience heading into that second book. Your first book doesn't have to be awesome, but your second book should show improvement, and so on. That should be what you focus on right now.

Too much good praise, especially fake praise, could be negative to your future writing.

[GORDON]

That being said, I STILL think the book is dark. I have a concern that everyone I know will look at me differently, or poorly, because of it. She's reinforcing that fear.

It's just art, and it isn't always comfortable... but hell.

I don't need everyone to S my D over it. But I do hope people I personally know have a little perspective. Just told a story that started in a dark place so they'd have amazing character arcs.

I'm overreacting to a single person's inability to read it. Just difficult to not envision it's the first of many.

[TheCatt]

That being said, I STILL think the book is dark. I have a concern that everyone I know will look at me differently, or poorly, because of it. She's reinforcing that fear.

My wife didn't want to write romance books because she was afraid of what people she knew would say. FUCK OTHER PEOPLE.

Do they think Steven King is hiding in sewers killing kids?

Some people don't like horror, others don't like romance, etc, etc. Somethings will be too dark for some, etc. It is what it is. You have/had a story to tell, and you told it.

[GORDON]

Thank you.

[Leisher]

I have a book idea, and have had it for well over a decade. However, I'm terrified to write it because I'm afraid it would very negatively affect my personal life.

Mainly, piss off my wife.

And the funny part is it wouldn't be about her, but the fact that I am the author would make her and others assume, which puts me into hot water.

I have seriously considered writing it in secret and trying to publish it in secret. Just not sure such a thing would be possible.

Point being, don't let fear stop you. Write what your inner creative demon tells you to write. Don't worry about what others might think.

I'm CERTAIN there are people who think Stephen King is an absolute monster or a sadist or whatever other horrible thing just because he writes horror books. People believe what they want to believe, and unless you plan to visit each person individually and get to know them, you can't worry about things you cannot change nor have any control over.

[GORDON]

tell me your idea and i can steal it

[GORDON]

but i get the "terrified to write it." A couple years ago when these words were coming out of my head fresh, I was losing sleep. I knew I was telling a good story, but i had no idea where these dark situations were coming from, in my brain. and i knew back then that among the social circle, thngs were going to change.

you spend a lot of energy making sure you have the proper mask on that you show society. "Hey, look at me, I'm perfectly normal." But then you write a book that's going to show some of what's behind that mask, and it's terrifying.

[GORDON]

i guess one way to look at it is.... i was able to tell a fucked up story, and was skillful enough that i made someone so uncomfortable they couldn't finish.

[Leisher]

you spend a lot of energy making sure you have the proper mask on that you show society. "Hey, look at me, I'm perfectly normal." But then you write a book that's going to show some of what's behind that mask, and it's terrifying.

Could not agree more.

[GORDON]

Already used the Stephen King analogy. I got a "good point" reaction.