Zaschitniki

As long as we recognize Lucas is washed up and most TV sucks, we'll all get along fine.
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GORDON
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Zaschitniki

Post by GORDON »

This looks awesome.

"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Leisher
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Re: Zaschitniki

Post by Leisher »

The Russian Avengers.
Ursus (latin for bear) is a type of berserker or werebear, and has the ability to transform himself into a large bear, though he can control how much of his body is transformed and can transform partially if he wills it
I'll bet he's a huge hit with the ladies...
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
GORDON
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Re: Zaschitniki

Post by GORDON »

he said huge
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Leisher
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Re: Zaschitniki

Post by Leisher »

In English


Also, I read somewhere (I think on that Wiki) that a sequel is already planned.
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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Re: Zaschitniki

Post by GORDON »

Is that a fan trailer, or will there be a dubbed version? I hope they get better voice actors. That reminded me of the first Resident Evil game.

Also those walky tanks remind me of the Cybrans from Total Annihilation.
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

It's called "Guardians" in English. Found it on iTunes for $.99.

The best way to describe it would be: If the Avengers had been made in the late 80s/early 90s by a young Michael Bay.

The story is ridiculously dumb, and I hope it was a mistake in translation. Basically, a scientist tries to create super heroes, but fails. A new guy takes over and has more success, but overall the project is a failure. The disgraced original scientist turns into a super villain and to stop him they recruit that scientist's creations...heroes. WTF? Seriously, they're super powered people, how did he fail?

Anyway, there's:
-The guy who can turn into a bear. He has three modes: Human, Bear head, and all bear. Later they strap a Gatling gun to him.
-Invisible chick. (Played by the smoking hot, Alina Lanina. Seriously, the cinematographer made love to her in this movie. It's amazing.)
Image
-Rock guy. No, he's not made of rocks, he controls them. It's basically telekinesis, but only with rocks. It's as dumb as it sounds. Later they give him a whip. It continues to be dumb.
-Ninja Flash. He's super fast and carries two monstrous blades that could only exist in a Japanese cartoon or RPG.

All of them are ridiculously ineffective. I honestly laughed at how terrible the filmmakers made them look.

The way they "win" is hilariously stupid.

If you're looking for unintentional chuckles and long shots of a gorgeous woman that'll put lead in your pencil, this is a great way to spend 99 cents.

OH! There's even a credits scene to setup a sequel!
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
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Zaschitniki

Post by TheCatt »

Image
It's not me, it's someone else.
Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

You need to watch it. I've never seen a woman so loved by the cameras.
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Zaschitniki

Post by GORDON »

It's free to stream if you have Amazon Prime.

It was very flat and kinda dull, and Leisher was right about most of it being dumb.

Those russian filmmakers sure tried though, bless their hearts.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
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