Inside Amy Schumer

[GORDON]

"Sorry not sorry" is truly god-tier comedy. She's quite brilliant. Sort of surprised she didn't fit a mention of her vagina into the apology, somehow.

[Leisher]

I wonder if she said to herself, "I want to be the next Janeane Garofalo".

Just when she becomes relevant and popular she goes out of her way to make people hate her.

[Leisher]

The woman at the center of Gordon's masturbatory fantasies is in trouble for being racist.

Here's the video:

[TPRJones]

Beyonce's version of the clip showed the singer sitting atop a New Orleans police car sinking in floodwaters. It also includes images of a hooded black child facing police and graffiti scrawled on a wall that reads "Stop Shooting Us."

What the hell? Has she actually heard the song?

When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay
If he hit it right, I might take him on a flight on my chopper, cause I slay
Drop him off at the mall, let him buy some J's, let him shop up, cause I slay
I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay

That's not deep and meaningful. That's about as shallow as it gets. Maybe if she wants to craft some sort of political message she should take a step back and check herself, because that's messed up.

[GORDON]

As much as she repulses me.... I was watching the video and thinking "This isn't racist."

Then I realized it was worse... it wasn't entertaining.

[Malcolm]

So, and I need to make sure I understand everything going on here, because there's enough WTF in this story that I'm getting confused.

1. That song in the background is Beyonce, right? Holy fuck. In terms of any standard: (i) Beyonce's, (ii) club music in general, (iii) or something worth playing more than once, that's one of the worst fucking songs since "Disco Duck." That shit makes the Macarena sound like Michael Jackson.

2. I assume this is Amy trying to put her own vid to the music, as a tribute ... to a complete piece of shit musical work?

I was watching the video and thinking "This isn't racist."

Then I realized it was worse... it wasn't entertaining.

It's hard to run something into the ground when it starts out subterranean.

3. Where the fuck is the racism? I saw more diversity in Amy's version than Beyonce's.

[GORDON]

Maybe the "racism" was because she lip-synced the n-word several times?

I hope so because I saw this somewhere, today:

Yeah, ok, so white people can't say the n-word.

But black people can't say things like, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and, "Hello, father."

Now THAT'S racist.

[TheCatt]

It's racist because she's white, people. Yall tarded.

[Leisher]

Maybe the "racism" was because she lip-synced the n-word several times?

I hope so because I saw this somewhere, today:

Yeah, ok, so white people can't say the n-word.

But black people can't say things like, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and, "Hello, father."

Now THAT'S racist.

I don't understand the link. Also, is it racist if a black person sent that?

And the racism she's being accused of, for those of you who are illiterate, is cultural appropriation.

[GORDON]

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

[Malcolm]

And the racism she's being accused of, for those of you who are illiterate, is cultural appropriation.

Wasn't that pretty much the modus operandi for the Persians, Hellenic Greeks, and Romans?

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

Technically, yes, because you aren't Dutch. Unless you're more Boer-ing that you let on.

[GORDON]

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

Technically, yes, because you aren't Dutch. Unless you're more Boer-ing that you let on.

Are Ohioans a race? If so y'all are fucked, I'm calling a lawyer.

[Leisher]

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

Being that you're a straight(?), white male, I assume you to be a racist, gun owning homophobe.

[Malcolm]

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

Technically, yes, because you aren't Dutch. Unless you're more Boer-ing that you let on.

Are Ohioans a race? If so y'all are fucked, I'm calling a lawyer.

No, they aren't a race. You need more distinction than "geographical region that looks like it'll be the first to get bitchslapped by Michigan's mitten-looking lower half."

[GORDON]

Well we just determined Dutch people were a race, and they are a lot smaller geographical region than Ohio, and have a lot less culteral diversity. Don't believe me? Go to Ohio Appalachia. Or Amish (Dutch!) country. Or a Cleveland hood. Tell me that the dutch have their own culture and Ohioans don't. If anything is a race, then everything is, and everything is officially racist you filthy, unwashed Minnesota slime.

And don't even get me started on those fucking Michiganders. Literally the worst.

[Malcolm]

If anything is a race, then everything is, and everything is officially racist you filthy, unwashed Minnesota slime.

I'm not originally from the Arctic cirlce of the Midwest. Nice try.

Well we just determined Dutch people were a race, and they are a lot smaller geographical region than Ohio

Ah, G, size doesn't matter.

Or a Cleveland hood.

I don't know if you mean thug or neighbourhood. Hmm, Cleveland ... I think I might be willing to separate them as their own caste. Race is a bit much.

Tell me that the dutch have their own culture and Ohioans don't.

The Dutch have their own culture and Ohioans don't. I mean, unless you count being grammatically retarded and putting a definite article in front of their state uni's name.

[GORDON]

You might be the stupidest person on earth and anything you say after this point will just set the bar lower for what it takes to be "stupidest person on earth."

Checkmate.

Did I do that right?

[TheCatt]

Ohioans DEFINITELY have their own culture: Bad pro sports teams, potholes, and rivers that burn.

[Leisher]

If I appropriate the culture of some village of whites in South Africa, is that racist?

Remember the white kid from South Africa who campaigned to win his high school's "Best African American Student" or whatever award? The administration was pissed because he was their best African American student, but he wasn't who they envisioned when they created the award. How are awards like that not racist?

Ohioans DEFINITELY have their own culture: Bad pro sports teams, potholes, and rivers that burn.

You say bad pro sports teams, but the Cavs just won the title, the Indians are up 1-0 in the World Series, and the Columbus MLS team made the finals.

Pennsylvania and Michigan have worse roads.

[GORDON]

Yeah but the Dutch have wooden shoes, therefore they are a race.