General TSA thread

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GORDON
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General TSA thread

Post by GORDON »

TheCatt wrote:
Malcolm wrote:
TPRJones wrote: I will attempt to fly for the first time in about a decade on Friday. Anything I need to know? Still need to take off my shoes and pants and take all devices out of bags?
Yes, you still have to unpack and repack half your luggage in front of people who aren't mentally competent enough to operate a slurpee machine and it's still a felony not to do everything they say, because ... well, no one with any sense would otherwise.
Speak for yourself. Flying today, I do none of that now :)
Check your bribe privilege.
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Leisher
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General TSA thread

Post by Leisher »

TheCatt wrote:
Malcolm wrote:
TPRJones wrote: I will attempt to fly for the first time in about a decade on Friday. Anything I need to know? Still need to take off my shoes and pants and take all devices out of bags?
Yes, you still have to unpack and repack half your luggage in front of people who aren't mentally competent enough to operate a slurpee machine and it's still a felony not to do everything they say, because ... well, no one with any sense would otherwise.
Speak for yourself. Flying today, I do none of that now :)
During 2015 and 2016 when I was traveling non-stop I have watched the TSA Pre-Check line go from a few people moving quickly to being longer and moving slower than the regular line.

Granted I'm sure it has to do with time of day, which airport, who's flying, etc., but it's funny. Actually watched a Pre-Check guy get questioned by a TSA agent in the regular line asking him why he was here, and they guy said, "Look at that line! This is faster."
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
TheCatt
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General TSA thread

Post by TheCatt »

Was not my experience this morning. Line was about 1 minute for precheck, and the scanner goes so much more quickly without the unpacking and disrobing.

So far, 2/3 flights it has been demonstrably faster, and the other time I think it was o ly slightly faster.
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Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

So serious question: What great lengths did you go through to prove you're not a threat?
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

certified: white
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TheCatt
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Post by TheCatt »

Leisher wrote: So serious question: What great lengths did you go through to prove you're not a threat?
Had to submit my SSN, answer some questions, then give my fingerprints. Online form, the. 5 minute in person interview. And $85, which my new travel card reimbursed.
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Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

TheCatt wrote:
Malcolm wrote:
TPRJones wrote: I will attempt to fly for the first time in about a decade on Friday. Anything I need to know? Still need to take off my shoes and pants and take all devices out of bags?
Yes, you still have to unpack and repack half your luggage in front of people who aren't mentally competent enough to operate a slurpee machine and it's still a felony not to do everything they say, because ... well, no one with any sense would otherwise.
Speak for yourself. Flying today, I do none of that now :)
So that means you just let them blackmail you? Much better.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
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GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

I have no fingerprints. access forever denied.
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Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

GORDON wrote: I have no fingerprints. access forever denied.
TSA can go fuck itself. I've had my prints taken enough.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Leisher
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Post by Leisher »

TheCatt wrote:
Leisher wrote: So serious question: What great lengths did you go through to prove you're not a threat?
Had to submit my SSN, answer some questions, then give my fingerprints. Online form, the. 5 minute in person interview. And $85, which my new travel card reimbursed.
If Catt slips up and pisses off the wrong fed, his fingerprints will be found on a murder weapon...
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

Seriously, though, what are the current rules and procedures for the average traveler to avoid getting your ass probed?
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GORDON
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Post by GORDON »

Pay.
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Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

TPRJones wrote: Seriously, though, what are the current rules and procedures for the average traveler to avoid getting your ass probed?
1) Don't be a brown person.
2) Don't wear anything that makes you look like a brown person.
3) Don't say anything that makes you sound like a brown person.
4) Do not question the god-given omniscience and omnipotence the TSA American SS has or you will be deemed a brown person.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TheCatt
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General TSA thread

Post by TheCatt »

TPRJones wrote: Seriously, though, what are the current rules and procedures for the average traveler to avoid getting your ass probed?
No metal (take anything metal off, put in the container for xray scanner)
Liquids must be 3 ounces or less, and all contained in a clear plastic quart-sized bag that you have to take out. (Checking liquids is fine, I think)
No coats (take them off)
No shoes (take them off)
Take laptops out of bag (ipads/etc are fine)
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Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

In short, show up to the airport barely dressed and packed with all those items in a large cardboard box to make it easier for them to sift through. I'd recommend leaving your quran at home. You can finish putting on your clothes and things in your bag after they unconstitutionally search your items.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

Oh. I thought some of those had been relaxed, like the shoes and liquids. *sigh* Same old stupid, then.

Thanks.
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Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

TPRJones wrote: Oh. I thought some of those had been relaxed, like the shoes and liquids. *sigh* Same old stupid, then.

Thanks.
Airliner passengers in this country will be removing shoes for the rest of eternity. When mankind has evolved beyond the need for feet, they'll require you to bring ceremonial shoes so they can illegally search them.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

Look, Malcolm, I get you. I really do. But I'm already going to be having a very hard time not ripping my clothes of and screaming "you want to see my junk HERE IT IS! Lift up my balls, see if there's a bomb under there! Go ahead, constitution be damned!"
"ATTENTION: Customers browsing porn must hold magazines with both hands at all times!"
Malcolm
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General TSA thread

Post by Malcolm »

TPRJones wrote: Look, Malcolm, I get you. I really do. But I'm already going to be having a very hard time not ripping my clothes of and screaming "you want to see my junk HERE IT IS! Lift up my balls, see if there's a bomb under there! Go ahead, constitution be damned!"
What in the name of jeebus is forcing you to fly?
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
TPRJones
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Post by TPRJones »

My step-mother has been very ill the past few years and my step-sister and I are going to what will likely be our last family visit.

Both my step-mother and my father believe strongly in the right to choose when to go, and my father has also indicated he has no interest in hanging around once she's gone. And lately he's been cleaning up their wills and getting their finances in order for passing on. So this trip could go all "Renew! Renew! Renew!" with little or no warning.
"ATTENTION: Customers browsing porn must hold magazines with both hands at all times!"
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