Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Post by **TheCatt** » Sat May 24, 2014 10:22 am

Breakfast conversation today:
Allie (7 years old): Daddy, can the government see us right now? I mean in our house, eating breakfast?
Me: I hope not.
Mommy: Probably not inside the house.
Stella (3 years): I don't like government.

Post by **GORDON** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:46 pm

I was in the grocery store the other day with my kid (currently

. I saw a dollar on the floor near our feet, and pointed it out to him. He snatched it up and before I could stop him went to the nearest old lady about ten feet away with her back to us and said, "Excuse me, did you drop this?" Well of course she said she did, and she took it. She thanked him and stuff. I just patted his head and told him that was very nice.

He's a good boy. Probably way nicer than all y'alls little brats.

Edited By GORDON on 1404784041

Post by **TheCatt** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:02 pm

My daughter (7) found a $20 bill on the floor of the grocery store on Friday. She told me about it, and I said it was mine, and she gave it to me.

True story.

Post by **Troy** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:20 pm

I dropped by my wallet in the parking deck today. Someone found my business card in it and called me 5m later. I gave them the 10 bucks that was inside, and thanked them profusely. Me being an idiot and the southern people being awesome. The end.

Post by **TheCatt** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:28 pm

I found someone's wallet on the side of the street last year while I was biking to work. Someone had stolen it from the dude while he was at the pool, stripped out the money, and thrown the rest out on the road.

I guess he gave me all the $ that was in it, too.

Malcolm · Post by **Malcolm** » Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:04 am

I found a wallet on the road one day over a decade ago. I still can't figure out wtf happened for the dude to lose it because he was under the impression he lost it in a building somewhere. Was walking on a side street and noticed a trail of plastics (credit cards, membership cards, driver's license) leading to a brown wallet. Was like breadcrumbs. After gathering it all up, everything inside including the cash was intact.

Also turned out to be a priest's wallet. I figure either:

1) the universe has a wicked sense of humour
2) god was throwing out obvious bait

Edited By Malcolm on 1404792442

Post by **Vince** » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:04 am

I found some money one time.

I put it in my pocket.

True story.

Post by **TheCatt** » Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:51 am

TheCatt wrote:My daughter (7) found a $20 bill on the floor of the grocery store on Friday. She told me about it, and I said it was mine, and she gave it to me.

True story.

For the record, it actually was mine, and had just fallen out of my wallet.

My daughter was disappointed that she didn't get to keep it.

Post by **Vince** » Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:18 am

Good girl. Honest, but not stupid about it

Post by **TheCatt** » Sat Jul 04, 2015 9:21 am

My 4 year old: Why do babies come out of our girllie parts instead of our mouths?

I wanted to say a particular response, but it seemed inappropriate.

Her logic was that if the baby is in the tummy, food goes in to your tummy via your mouth, so why wouldn't the baby come out that way?

Post by **Vince** » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:14 pm

She's not going to be bulimic is she?

Post by **TheCatt** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 9:18 pm

Today our last pet rabbit passed away, and we told the kids when they came home from school:

Youngest: (Starts bawling)
Oldest: (pauses 2 seconds), We should think about getting another pet now.

Edited By TheCatt on 1442539108

Post by **GORDON** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 2:58 pm

My son is of "that age," and yesterday I head "It's a hard knock life" being played over and over from the attic, where is kid-cave is set up. Over and over.

And I'm thinking, "Uh oh... show tunes."

Turns out he was playing this over and over: